Planning An Orthodox Jewish Wedding: A Step-By-Step Guide

how to plan an orthodox jewish wedding

Planning an Orthodox Jewish wedding can be an exciting but stressful experience. There are many rituals and traditions to consider, and it's important to do your research to ensure you create a meaningful ceremony. For example, in a traditional ceremony, only the groom gives the bride a ring, but some contemporary couples find this ritual outdated and opt for a double-ring ceremony instead. You'll also need to decide on the type of ketubah you want and whether to have a chuppah, the canopy that covers the couple during the ceremony, creating a sacred and intimate space.

Characteristics Values
Ring-giving Only the groom gives the bride a ring, but some Orthodox rabbis will allow a modified form of this
Witness Must be a religiously observant Jewish male, unrelated to the couple; some rabbis accept women as witnesses
Chuppah A canopy that covers the couple during the ceremony, symbolising their new home together
Dress The bride may be required to cover her shoulders; the groom may wear a kittel (ceremonial robe)
Ketubah A Jewish marriage contract; choose your text or ask your officiant to help you write your own

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The role of the rabbi

The rabbi plays a central role in an Orthodox Jewish wedding. Working with a rabbi can help couples learn about the wedding rituals, and it is recommended that couples do some research in advance so they can bring ideas to their meetings with the rabbi.

Couples should meet with their rabbi to discuss the ceremony structure and marriage requirements, as well as the different elements of Jewish weddings and which to include. The rabbi can advise on dress requirements, such as covering the bride's shoulders or the groom wearing a kittel (ceremonial robe). The rabbi can also help with writing the ketubah text or choosing an artist to create a custom-made ketubah.

The rabbi will also be able to advise on the chuppah, the canopy that covers the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, creating a sacred and intimate space. The rabbi can explain the symbolism of the chuppah, which represents the couple's new home together, and couples can discuss with the rabbi what kind of chuppah would be most meaningful for them.

Some Orthodox rabbis will allow a modified form of a double-ring ceremony, which contemporary egalitarian couples may prefer to the traditional ritual of only the groom giving the bride a ring.

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The ketubah

There are many different types of ketubah to choose from, including traditional, modern, and custom designs. If you want a custom ketubah, you will need to find an artist to create it for you. You can also choose your own text or ask your officiant to help you write it.

The text of the ketubah usually includes the names of the bride and groom, the date and location of the wedding, and the groom's responsibilities to his bride. These responsibilities typically include providing food, clothing, and a home for his wife.

It is important to note that the ketubah is not a legal document and does not replace a civil marriage license. However, it is a meaningful part of the Jewish wedding ceremony and is often cherished by the couple and their families.

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The chuppah

In planning your wedding, think about what kind of chuppah would be special for you. You can choose the design and colour, and whether you would like to incorporate flowers or other decorations. You can also decide whether you would like to rent or buy a chuppah, or make your own.

If you are having an outdoor wedding, consider the weather conditions and choose a chuppah that will provide adequate shade or protection from the elements. You may also want to think about how the chuppah will be anchored or secured, especially if it is windy.

Discuss the details of your chuppah with your officiant or synagogue to ensure that it meets any religious or logistical requirements.

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Dress requirements

When it comes to dress requirements, it's important to ask your officiant or synagogue if there are any specific rules you should follow. For example, the bride may be required to cover her shoulders, and the groom may be expected to wear a kittel (ceremonial robe).

The bride's dress is an important part of any wedding, but in an Orthodox Jewish wedding, it may need to adhere to certain modesty requirements. This could include covering the bride's shoulders, as mentioned above, as well as ensuring the dress is not too revealing in other ways. The colour white is often chosen as it symbolises purity.

The groom's attire is also significant. In addition to the kittel, which is a white robe worn during the ceremony, the groom may also wear a kippah (skullcap) and a tallit (prayer shawl). These items are traditionally worn by Jewish men during prayer and religious ceremonies.

It's also worth noting that, while not directly related to dress requirements, the bride and groom may also be expected to follow certain customs during the wedding ceremony. For example, the bride may be required to circle the groom seven times upon entering the chuppah (wedding canopy). This custom is known as "hakafot" and is said to symbolise the creation of a new, protected space for the couple.

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The ring ceremony

If you are planning an Orthodox Jewish wedding, you may want to discuss the ring ceremony with your rabbi. They can help you understand the wedding rituals and decide what is right for you. You may also want to do some research in advance, so you can bring your own ideas to the discussion.

On the day of the wedding, the ring ceremony will take place under the chuppah, the canopy that covers the bride and groom during the ceremony. This creates a sacred and intimate space for the couple as they exchange rings.

Frequently asked questions

The officiant will help you to understand the different elements of Jewish weddings and decide what to include. They will also be able to advise on dress requirements, such as covering the bride's shoulders or the groom wearing a kittel (ceremonial robe).

A ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract. You can choose your text or ask your officiant to help you write your own. You can also have one custom-made by a ketubah artist.

Traditionally, a witness must be a religiously observant Jewish male, unrelated to the bride or groom. However, Reform and Reconstructionist and some Conservative rabbis accept women as witnesses, though most still prefer that the witness be Jewish.

The chuppah is the canopy that covers the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, creating a sacred space that is both open and intimate. It symbolises their new home together.

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