Organizing Bridesmaids: A Guide To Planning Your Bridal Party

Organizing bridesmaids can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to the wedding ceremony. The bridal party should walk in and stand beside the bride, but deciding on the order can be challenging. The more bridesmaids, the more complicated it becomes, and no one wants hurt feelings. There are several ways to organize bridesmaids, including by height, which is often considered the most foolproof and aesthetically pleasing option. Another approach is to arrange them according to their relationship with the bride, starting with family members and then extending to friends. A more objective method is to organize by length of relationship, from longest to shortest. The bridal party can also be arranged alphabetically, giving the impression of fairness and neutrality. Ultimately, the key is to ensure that all bridesmaids feel valued and that their efforts are appreciated.

Communicate early and often

Communication is key when it comes to organising bridesmaids. It is important to keep your bridesmaids well informed and in the loop from the very beginning. This means giving them all the information they need and being upfront about time and money commitments.

Firstly, give your bridesmaids the dates for all the important events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day, as well as the plans for the bachelorette party. The earlier you can give them this information, the better, as it will allow them to plan and ensure they can attend everything.

Secondly, be clear about the process for bridesmaid dress shopping and/or ordering. This includes discussing the budget for dresses, as these can be expensive, and perhaps even giving them the option to pick their own dresses within a certain colour palette or style. You could also suggest dress rental as a more affordable option. It is also a good idea to communicate about wedding-day jewellery—you could even give this as a gift to your bridesmaids.

Thirdly, keep your bridesmaids informed about your expectations for hair and makeup. If you are happy for them to choose their own, great! But if you would like them to have their hair and makeup done professionally, be sure to communicate this early on and remember that you will need to cover the cost.

Finally, keep communication open and be respectful of your bridesmaids' time. They all have their own lives, jobs, and commitments, so try to keep your communications concise and to the point. It is also a good idea to get all your bridesmaids together for a casual meet-and-greet so they can get to know each other before the wedding festivities begin. This can be done virtually if people are spread out across the world.

Keep budgets in mind

Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, so it's important to keep budgets in mind when organizing bridesmaids. Here are some tips to help keep costs down for the bridal party:

Discuss Financial Expectations

Before committing to being a bridesmaid, it's essential to have an honest conversation about finances with the bride and other bridesmaids. Ask about the expected costs, such as the bridesmaid dress, accessories, travel, lodging, gifts, and pre-wedding events like the bachelorette party and bridal shower. By understanding the financial expectations, you can evaluate your budget and decide what you can realistically afford.

Plan Ahead

Once you know the expected costs, start planning your budget early. Set aside money specifically for bridesmaid expenses, and consider creating a spreadsheet to track your spending. Look for deals and discounts on flights, hotels, and dresses. If possible, book travel and accommodations in advance to avoid last-minute price increases.

Cut Back on Expenses

There are several ways to reduce costs for the bridal party. Suggest less expensive alternatives for pre-wedding events, or offer to host events at someone's home. Consider renting or buying second-hand dresses and accessories. If possible, use your own resources and connections, such as doing your own makeup or catering. For gifts, consider DIY options or go in on a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

Communicate Any Concerns

If you have financial concerns at any point, don't be afraid to speak up. It's better to be honest about your budget constraints than to struggle financially. The bride and other bridesmaids may be understanding and willing to make adjustments or chip in to help offset some of your costs. Remember, it's important to maintain open and honest communication throughout the process to ensure a stress-free and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Respect their time

Planning a wedding can be all-consuming, but it's important to remember that your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and responsibilities. Here are some ways to respect their time while organising your bridal party:

Keep communications concise

While it's important to keep your bridesmaids informed, try to keep your emails and text messages short and to the point. Avoid sending lengthy messages or starting a never-ending group chat. Respect their time by only sharing essential information and keeping your communications concise and clear.

Provide early and ample notice

Give your bridesmaids plenty of advance notice about important dates and events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day. Also, inform them about the dress shopping process, bachelorette party plans, and any time and financial commitments. This will allow them to plan their schedules and ensure they can participate without disrupting their daily lives.

Be mindful of their finances

Being a bridesmaid can be financially demanding, from the dress to the bachelorette party. Respect your bridesmaids' time and financial situation by considering ways to reduce their costs. For example, suggest renting dresses instead of buying them or choosing a less expensive option for the bachelorette party. Discuss budgets openly and plan events that are affordable for everyone, ensuring your bridesmaids don't feel burdened financially.

Allow them to choose their own attire and styling

Instead of imposing a specific dress style, consider giving your bridesmaids a colour palette and event style, along with the option to choose their own outfits. This not only respects their time by avoiding the need for multiple fittings and alterations but also increases the likelihood that they will wear the outfit again. Similarly, allow them to choose their own hair and makeup styles, whether they opt for professional or self-styling. If you do request professional styling, be prepared to cover the costs.

Avoid overloading them with tasks

While your bridesmaids are there to support you, avoid overburdening any single member of your bridal party. Distribute responsibilities evenly, ensuring no one feels overwhelmed. If you require assistance with planning or organising, reach out and ask if anyone can help. This will not only respect their time but also make them feel valued and included in the process.

Arrange by height

One of the toughest parts of planning a wedding ceremony is figuring out how to organize the bridal party. While it's important to consider the aesthetics of the photos, it's also crucial to manage the personal feelings of your wedding party. Deciding to arrange your bridesmaids by height is a great way to achieve a visually pleasing lineup while also avoiding any potential hurt feelings. Here are some tips to help you arrange your bridesmaids by height:

Include the Maid of Honor:

The Maid of Honor, as the bride's closest companion, should stand right next to the bride, regardless of her height. If she's on the shorter side, you can arrange the other bridesmaids from shortest to tallest, and if she's taller, do the opposite. This way, the height arrangement complements the Maid of Honor's position.

Consider the Groom's Side:

Don't forget that the groomsmen's heights can also be taken into account. You can arrange the groomsmen by height as well, with the Best Man, the groom's closest companion, standing next to the groom, regardless of height. This creates a cohesive look for the entire wedding party.

Manage Height Differences:

If you have a mix of very tall and very short bridesmaids, you might feel concerned about how the height differences will look in photos. Consider using stairs or varied seating arrangements in some photos to create a sense of balance. You can also consult your photographer for creative ideas to capture the best shots, as height differences are common and often not as noticeable as you might think.

Embrace the Uniqueness:

Remember, your wedding is a celebration of your unique love story. Embrace the fact that everyone in your bridal party has a different height, just as they have different personalities and relationships with you. Ultimately, the most important thing is that they are the people you love and want by your side on your special day.

Communicate with Your Bridesmaids:

It's important to communicate with your bridesmaids and let them know that their position in the lineup doesn't indicate their level of importance to you. Reassure them that their role as a bridesmaid is what matters, and their place in the lineup is simply for aesthetic purposes.

Arrange by relationship

Arranging your bridal party by relationship can be a tricky business. You want to avoid hurt feelings and the impression that you are ranking your loved ones by how close you are to them. This option is usually safer for smaller wedding parties, as it can be easier for a friend or cousin to understand that your sisters or brothers are closer to you than it is for a friend to realise they are the twelfth most important person in your life.

If you have a large bridal party, one way to organise by relationship is to start with family members and then move outwards. Begin with sisters, then sisters-in-law, cousins, best friends, and so on. Alternatively, if you are not particularly close with your sisters or sisters-in-law, you could keep your best friends closest to you and have your family members round out the end of the line.

Another way to arrange by relationship is to group people by the different stages of your life. This method works well if your bridesmaids are from different periods of your life, such as elementary school, high school, college, and work, but may not be as effective if you met all of your bridesmaids in the same year.

Frequently asked questions