The Etiquette Of Wedding Thank-Yous: Handwritten Or Typed?

Wedding thank-you cards are a great way to express gratitude to your guests for their presence and presents. While it's not mandatory to send a thank-you card, it's a polite gesture that your guests will appreciate. Here's a brief introduction to the topic:

A picture is worth a thousand words, but when it comes to wedding thank-you cards, your heartfelt message is priceless. While it may seem daunting to handwrite personalised notes to each guest, it is a meaningful way to show your appreciation. In this digital age, taking the time to craft individual messages adds a special touch that your guests will surely notice and cherish. So, grab your pen and stationery, and let's dive into the world of wedding thank-you card etiquette!

Handwritten vs digital

The age-old debate of handwritten vs digital has been going on for years, and it's a discussion that isn't going away anytime soon. When it comes to wedding thank-you cards, there are a few things to consider when deciding between handwritten and digital cards.

On the one hand, handwritten cards can be more personal and thoughtful. They show that you took the time to sit down and write a message to each guest, which can be especially meaningful if you have a large number of guests. Handwritten cards also add a touch of elegance and formality to your correspondence. It is recommended by etiquette experts to continue the tradition of handwritten cards, as they reflect more meaning and intention.

On the other hand, digital cards can be more practical and efficient, especially if you have a large number of guests. They can also be more cost-effective, as you don't have to worry about the cost of stationery, postage, and other materials. Digital cards are also more environmentally friendly, as they eliminate the need for paper and other physical resources.

Ultimately, the decision between handwritten and digital cards is a matter of personal preference. However, it's important to weigh the pros and cons of each option before making a decision.

If you decide to go with handwritten cards, here are a few tips to make the process easier:

• Prepare everything in advance, including choosing a thank-you card design, purchasing a high-quality pen, and stocking up on stamps.
• Be specific in your thanks by mentioning the gift you received and how you plan to use it.
• Make it personal by adding a small detail about the gift giver or a time you plan to see them in the future.
• Be yourself and use your true voice in the cards. This will make the recipient feel happy and appreciated.
• Share the responsibility with your partner by having them sign their name on the cards as well.

If you opt for digital cards, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Choose a beautiful digital card design that reflects your wedding theme or style.
• Personalize the cards as much as possible, even if it's just adding the recipient's name and a personal message.
• Include all the same information you would in a handwritten card, such as a specific mention of the gift and how you plan to use it.
• Proofread your cards carefully before sending to avoid any typos or errors.
• Consider sending the cards to a printing service to have them printed on nice paper and mailed out, for an added touch of elegance.

Regardless of which option you choose, the most important thing is to express your sincere gratitude to your guests for their attendance and gifts. Thank-you cards are a meaningful way to show your appreciation and make your guests feel valued.

Timing

The timing of your wedding thank-you cards is important. It's recommended to send thank-you cards within two or three weeks of receiving a gift if it arrives before your wedding. For gifts received after the wedding, it's best to send thank-yous within three months of your wedding date. Sending cards within this time frame is considered respectful and timely.

If you've written out cards in batches, send them out in batches, too. There's no need to wait until each and every gift is accounted for. If you receive a gift before the wedding, go ahead and send a prompt thank-you. It's also a good idea to write those thank-you notes as soon as the presents arrive to avoid an overwhelming amount of work later on.

If you're worried about your handwriting or you have a lot of cards to write, some services allow you to type out messages, which they will then print in a beautiful font.

Although it's best to send cards within three months, if you pass that deadline, it's still better to send a late card than none at all.

What to include

The content of your wedding thank-you cards will depend on who you're writing to, but there are a few key elements to include in every note. Here's a breakdown of what to include in your wedding thank-you cards:

• A named address: Begin your note by addressing the recipient by name. If you're sending the card to a couple or family, address each member who attended your wedding by name. Use their first names if you have a close relationship, and titles ("Dr.", "Ms.") if your relationship is more formal.
• A heartfelt "thank you": Express your gratitude and make it clear what you're thanking the recipient for. This is the most important part of the card!
• Specific details about the gift: Mention the gift by name and, if possible, include a line or two about why you like it and how you'll use it. This makes the note more personal and sincere. If the gift was monetary, some sources suggest specifying the amount, while others recommend simply mentioning how you plan to spend it.
• A personal touch: Include a small detail about the gift-giver, such as their role in the wedding or your plans to see them in the future. You could also mention a fond memory you shared during the wedding or a special moment involving them.
• A pleasant sign-off: Finish the note with a warm closing, such as "Love", "Best", or "Sincerely", followed by both you and your partner's names.

For people who bought a gift from your registry:

> "Dear [Guest's name], Thank you so much for the [gift name]! [Partner's name] and I have become [explain how you will use the gift, e.g., serious coffee fiends], and we are excited to be able to [explain how you will use the gift, e.g., make our own drinks at home]. We’d love to have you over for [related activity, e.g., brunch] soon so you can see it in action! Thank you again for being a part of our wedding day."

For people who gave a monetary gift:

> "Dear [Guest's name], Thank you so much for celebrating our wedding day with us! [Partner's name] and I were thrilled with your generous and thoughtful gift of [amount]. Thanks to you, we were able to [explain how you will use the money, e.g., book the cooking class we’d had our eye on for our honeymoon]. Looking forward to seeing you over the holidays! Love, [Your names]"

For people who gave an unfamiliar item:

> "Dear [Guest's name], Thank you again for being a part of our big day, as well as for the wonderful wedding gift. It means so much that you traveled so far to celebrate with us. [Partner's name] and I feel lucky to count you as our friends! Best, [Your names]"

For people who didn't attend but sent a gift:

> "Dear [Gifter's name], Thank you so much for the [gift name]. It was so kind of you to think of us! [Partner's name] and I wish you could have been there on our wedding day—it wasn’t the same without you. We’re looking forward to more opportunities to celebrate together in the future! Love, [Your names]"

For people who attended but didn't give a gift:

> "Thank you so much for celebrating our wedding day with us. It was so great to have you by our side as we welcomed the next chapter in our lives. We hope to see you again soon! [Your names]"

Who to thank

It is customary to send a thank-you note to everyone who attended your wedding, even if they didn't give a gift. It is also important to thank your wedding vendors and suppliers, such as your wedding planner, musicians, florist, and caterer.

For those who did give gifts, it is proper etiquette to send a thank-you note to let them know that you received the gift, that you appreciate it, and how you plan to use it. This includes guests who couldn't attend the wedding but sent a gift, as well as those who contributed to a group gift.

If you received a gift that you don't particularly like or will be exchanging, it is still important to express your gratitude and find something positive to say about the gift.

For guests who travelled far to attend your wedding, it is a nice gesture to thank them for making the trip.

Finally, don't forget to thank your wedding party, including groomsmen and/or bridesmaids, and anyone who hosted a party for you.

How to address

Now that you've written your wedding thank-you cards, it's time to address the envelopes. Here are some tips to ensure you're following proper etiquette:

• Use the correct titles: When addressing your thank-you cards, it's important to use the correct titles for your guests, especially if you have a formal relationship with them. Use titles such as "Dr." or "Ms." if appropriate.
• Address guests by name: If you have a close relationship with the gift-giver, you can address them by their first name. If you're sending the card to a couple or family, address each member who attended your wedding and signed the card by name. It's perfectly fine to use first names.
• Match your wedding invitations: On the exterior of the envelope, address your guests the same way you addressed your wedding invitations. This will create a cohesive look and feel for your wedding stationery.
• Handwrite the addresses: While it's not necessary to handwrite your thank-you notes, it's a nice touch to handwrite the addresses on the envelopes. This adds a personal touch and shows your guests that you've taken the time to write to them individually.
• Use pre-printed return address labels: To save time, you can use pre-printed return address labels on the back flap of the envelope. This will ensure that your guests can easily identify the sender and will also save you from having to handwrite your return address on each envelope.
• Be consistent: Consistency is key when addressing your thank-you cards. Use the same format and style for all your envelopes to create a unified look. This will make your thank-you cards look neat and well-organised.
• Double-check the addresses: Before sealing your envelopes, be sure to double-check the addresses to avoid any mistakes. You don't want your thank-you cards to get lost in the mail or end up in the wrong hands!
• Include a return address: Don't forget to include your return address on the envelopes, especially if you're hand-delivering the cards or if your guests live far away. This will ensure that any undelivered cards will make their way back to you.

By following these tips, you'll be able to address your wedding thank-you cards with style and grace, showing your guests that you appreciate their presence and their gifts.

Frequently asked questions