The Perfect Wedding: Managing Invites Like A Pro

Wedding invitations are a guest's first glimpse into your big day, so it's important to get them right. From wording and design to postage and timing, there's a lot to consider when managing your wedding invitations. Here's a comprehensive guide to help you navigate the process and ensure your invitations are elegant and error-free.

Firstly, it's crucial to send out your invitations with enough lead time. For local weddings, aim for 6-8 weeks, and for destination weddings, give your guests 12 weeks' notice. This will allow them to make the necessary arrangements, such as travel and accommodation plans. When it comes to the design, opt for legibility over cramming too much information onto the card. Include key details such as the ceremony time and location, the hosts, the couple's full names, and RSVP information. Any additional information, such as directions or post-wedding activities, can be included on separate enclosure cards or your wedding website.

The wording of your invitations is also important. Traditionally, the host's name is listed first, followed by a request line such as request the honour of your presence. Be sure to spell out all words and avoid abbreviations. Include titles like Mr. and Mrs. but spell out Doctor unless the name becomes too long. The dress code can be indicated at the bottom of the invitation, or you can include a link to your wedding website for more details. Remember to provide clear RSVP instructions, including a deadline for responses, typically 2-3 weeks before the wedding.

When addressing your invitations, use proper titles and spelling. It's best to handwrite the addresses, and if possible, use guests' full names. Avoid using address labels, as handwritten addresses are more formal and personal. Finally, don't forget to include stamped and addressed envelopes for RSVP cards to make it easier for your guests to respond.

Timing and what details to include

Timing

The timing of your wedding invitations is important. Save-the-date cards should be sent out 8 to 10 months before the wedding, and invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding date. If you are having a destination wedding, it is proper etiquette to send your wedding invitations out 12 weeks prior.

What Details to Include

The following information should be included in your wedding invitations:

• Bride and groom's names
• Wedding date and time
• Ceremony and reception location(s)
• Attire requested
• RSVP instructions
• Directions and parking or accommodation information

It is also worth noting that it is not proper etiquette to list your gift registry on your wedding invitation suite.

How to address guests properly

Properly addressing your wedding invitations is an important part of wedding invitation etiquette and is likely the first part of the invitation that your guests will see. Here are some tips to ensure you get it right:

• For a married couple with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's full name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
• For a married couple with different last names, write their titles and names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, list them separately.
• For a married couple with one hyphenated last name, write "Mr." followed by the husband's name and then the wife's name, followed by the hyphenated last name.
• For an unmarried couple, write "Mr." or "Ms." and their names on separate lines. List the person you are closest with first.
• For a single female, use "Miss" if she is under 18, and "Ms." if she is over 18.
• For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18. Otherwise, no title is necessary.
• For a married couple when one person is a doctor, spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope. If the combined names are too long, list them separately.
• For a married couple when both people are doctors, it is proper to use "The Doctors" followed by their last name.
• For a couple with other distinguished titles (military personnel, judges, etc.), apply the same rules as for doctors.
• For a family, including children, list the family name or the parents' names alone on the outer envelope, and include everyone on the inside envelope.

Other Tips

• If you are inviting a family with children, addressing only the parents' full names on the invitation implies that children are not invited.
• Avoid using abbreviations (except for professional titles such as "Doctor"). Spell out all words in the formal invitation.
• If you are unsure of a guest's middle name, leave it out rather than abbreviating it with an initial.
• If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is best to play it safe by leaving out the title altogether.

How to assemble and stuff invitations

Assembling and stuffing your wedding invitations is an exciting part of the wedding planning process. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to do it:

Step 1: Prepare your space and supplies

Clear a table and give it a wipe to ensure your invitations stay pristine. Gather all the necessary pieces, including the invitation itself, any enclosure cards, envelopes, and adornments like belly bands, vellum or tissue paper overlays, ribbons, and wax seals.

Step 2: Create an assembly process

You can either assemble each invitation and stuff it into the envelope as you go, or assemble all the invitations first and then stuff them into envelopes. The latter may be more efficient if you have a large number of invitations to send out.

Step 3: Start with the invitation

Place the invitation card face-up on the table. This is usually the largest card in the suite.

Step 4: Add tissue paper or vellum overlay (optional)

If you want to include a sheet of tissue paper or vellum overlay, place it on top of the invitation card. Tissue paper was traditionally used to prevent ink smudging, but it is not necessary for most modern invitations.

Step 5: Add the reception card

Place the reception card, which outlines the time and location of the wedding reception, face-up on top of the invitation or tissue paper.

Step 6: Include other enclosure cards

Add any remaining enclosure cards, such as maps, hotel accommodations, and travel information, face-up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, start with the largest and work your way down to the smallest.

Step 7: Don't forget the RSVP card and envelope

Place the reply envelope face-down on top of the enclosure cards. Insert the reply card under the reply envelope flap, face-up, so that the printed side is visible. Pre-address and stamp the reply envelope to make it easier for your guests to respond.

Step 8: Use an inner and outer envelope (optional)

If you are using an inner envelope and an outer envelope, insert the assembled invitation suite into the inner envelope first, with the left edge going in first for a single-card invitation, or the folded edge first for a folded invitation. The printed side of the invitation should be visible when the envelope flap is opened. Then, insert the inner envelope into the outer envelope so that the guests' names are visible when they open it.

If using only one envelope, insert the assembled suite directly into the outer envelope, following the same orientation guidelines.

Step 9: Final touches

If you are adding any finishing touches, such as a belly band, ribbon, or wax seal, do so now.

Step 10: Addressing and sealing

Address the envelopes and seal them using a bottled envelope moistener, being careful not to use too much liquid. Place a heavy book on top of the stack of sealed envelopes to ensure they are securely closed.

Step 11: Add return address labels

Add address labels, rubber stamps, or skinny wraps to the envelopes.

Step 12: Weigh and mail

Before mailing, bring a fully assembled invitation to the post office to get the correct postage weight. Ask about international postage rates if applicable. It is also recommended to hand-cancel the invitations at the post office to ensure they are handled with care.

Now your invitations are ready to be mailed out to your guests!

How to word your wedding RSVP card

The wording of your wedding RSVP cards should ideally match the style of your wedding invitations. Whether your wedding is traditional, formal, or informal, you can adapt your RSVP wording accordingly. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your wedding RSVP cards:

Set a Clear Deadline

Give your guests a clear deadline for responding, usually around four to six weeks before the wedding. This will allow you time to finalize details with your vendors and make any necessary arrangements. For destination weddings, it is advisable to set the RSVP deadline two months in advance to give guests enough time to confirm travel plans.

Include the Essentials

The RSVP card should include the following essential information:

• A clear RSVP deadline
• A way for guests to indicate their attendance (e.g., accept/decline or yes/no)
• Space for guests to write their names and the names of any additional guests or plus-ones
• Any dietary restrictions or meal preferences

Add More Information

You may also include additional details such as:

• Dress code or attire suggestions
• Your contact information (phone number and email address)
• A reminder of your wedding website URL

Encourage Creativity and Personalization

Allow some space on the RSVP card for guests to write special accommodations, notes, or well-wishes. You can also add a creative flair to your RSVP cards by asking guests for song requests, date ideas, or advice for the newlyweds. This is a great way to inject your personality and style into the cards.

Examples of Formal RSVP Wording

• "The favour of a response is requested by [date]"
• "Your reply is kindly requested before [date]"
• "Please RSVP no later than [date] ▢ will attend ▢ unable to attend"
• "A favour of response is kindly requested before [date]"
• "Name(s) :_______________ ▢ joyfully accept(s) ▢ regretfully decline(s) ▢ number attending"

Examples of Informal RSVP Wording

For a more relaxed or informal wedding, you can use light-hearted and creative wording:

• "Kindly reply before [date] ▢ Can't wait! ▢ Sorry, I wish I/we could be there!"
• "Let us know before [date] ▢ can't wait to hit the dance floor ▢ will be toasting from afar"
• "Name(s) of our fabulous guests: _______________ ▢ Yay ▢ Nay"
• "Check all that apply. ▢ Yes because: ▢ Free food and drink ▢ I want some cake ▢ No, I will not be attending because: ▢ I’m… um… busy that day"

How to save money on invitations

Weddings can be expensive, but there are ways to cut costs when it comes to sending out invitations without compromising on style. Here are some tips to help you save money:

Limit decorative elements

Choose one or two "must-have" decorative elements for your invitation. Foil pressing or calligraphy can add a simple touch without breaking the bank. Avoid wax seals and belly bands, as these increase the weight of the invitation and, therefore, the shipping price.

Use a simple envelope

Guests will be more interested in the contents of the envelope than the envelope itself, so consider choosing a simple, elegant envelope without decorative elements.

Avoid expensive paper

Cotton or linen paper is pricier than cardstock or a cotton blend.

Trim the number of invitation layers

Provide detailed information about the wedding digitally, rather than including multiple enclosure cards. You could create a wedding website or use a free service like Paperless Post to provide information on travel, accommodation, and the wedding party.

Go digital

Digital invitations are more cost-effective and convenient for you and your guests. You can also track responses more easily.

Choose cheaper printing options

Engraving and letterpress are expensive printing options. Instead, opt for thermography or digital printing, which are more affordable.

Send one invitation per household

Avoid sending individual invitations to each guest and send one invitation per household instead.

Proofread

Proofread your invitations carefully to avoid costly reprinting errors. Ask a friend or family member to proofread as well, as they may spot mistakes you missed.

Order extras

Ordering a few extra invitations initially is cheaper than ordering more later if you need them.

Look for coupons and sales

Many wedding stationers offer discounts and coupon deals, so keep an eye out for these.

Frequently asked questions