Extending Your Wedding: Creative Ways To Make It Last

Planning a wedding ceremony involves many factors, and one of the most important considerations is the length of the ceremony. While some couples prefer a short and sweet ceremony, others may want to make it longer to savour the moment and include more meaningful elements. Here are some creative ways to extend your wedding ceremony and make it more personalised and memorable.

Include readings

If you're looking to lengthen your wedding ceremony, readings are a great way to do it. They allow you to give loved ones a special role in your big day and to share your feelings for each other in a unique way. Here are some tips to help you include readings in your ceremony:

Talk to your officiant

If you have already selected your wedding officiant, discuss including readings in your ceremony with them. Some religious ceremonies may not be conducive to additional readings, so it's important to make sure your officiant is on board with the idea. They can also suggest readings that will enhance your ceremony and match your personality and style. Your officiant can also determine when the most appropriate time would be during the ceremony to include readings so that they feel natural and seamless.

Timing of the readings

Typically, readings take place towards the beginning of the ceremony, after the officiant's introduction and before the wedding vows. However, depending on your ceremony style, your officiant may suggest other appropriate times for readings. It's recommended to limit the number of readings to one or two, as too many may cause your ceremony to drag on and your guests to lose interest. Each reading should last no more than three minutes, with the entire readings portion lasting no longer than five minutes.

Choosing religious or secular readings

You, your future spouse, and your officiant will need to discuss whether religious or secular readings are best for your ceremony. If you choose a religious reading, you'll likely select a passage or verse from a sacred text, a religious poem, or a blessing. Secular readings can be poems, book excerpts, song lyrics, or even lines from a movie or TV show.

Think about your readers

Consider the people who will be speaking at your ceremony when choosing readings. For example, if you've selected a young child to speak, a passage from a children's book would be appropriate. You could also choose a reading that reflects the interests of the reader, such as a Shakespeare passage for a Shakespeare buff.

Choose meaningful readings

Select readings that are meaningful to you and your spouse. Wedding ceremony readings typically focus on love, but there is a wide range of what's appropriate. Readings can be emotional, sweet, romantic, or even funny, as long as they feel true to you and the style of your ceremony.

Think outside the box

Don't be afraid to choose a nontraditional wedding reading, especially if you're having a more casual ceremony. You can include readings from songs, movies, or TV shows, or even have several guests recite lines of dialogue. If you and your spouse have a history of writing to each other, you can have your love letters or emails read aloud.

Include the whole crew

You don't have to choose just one or two readers. You can involve all of your guests by having them read together. Include the text of the reading in your program, and have your officiant ask all your guests to stand and read it together at a particular point in the ceremony.

Display readings in other ways

If there are many readings you want to include but are limited by time, there are other ways to share them with your guests. Print the readings in your ceremony programs, quote them on signage, or include a passage in your thank-you speech at the reception.

Remember, wedding readings are optional. Don't include a reading just for the sake of it—make sure it fits the tone and style of your wedding day. Your guests will be thrilled to be present for your wedding ceremony, with or without readings.

Lengthen your vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to personalise your ceremony and celebrate what makes your relationship unique. While traditional vows are a beautiful and classic way to declare your love, creating your own vows is especially meaningful.

Where to start

If you're not sure where to begin, start with a brain dump. Jot down all your thoughts about your partner and your relationship. This will allow your feelings to flow freely, and alleviate any pressure to get the wording right immediately. Once you've got everything down, highlight your favourite parts and use them in your final draft.

What to include

Vows usually follow a basic structure and length. Wedding vow writer Katelyn Peterson advises the following breakdown:

• Address your partner and briefly recap your love story
• Communicate traits that you admire about your partner
• Describe what you appreciate about your relationship
• List three to six specific promises
• Close with how you envision your future together

This is up to you. While some sources suggest vows should be no longer than two to three minutes, others say not to worry too much about length, and that you should focus on substance instead. If you're worried about your vows being too long, you could always write a separate letter to your partner to read before or after the ceremony, to include anything you weren't able to say in your vows.

Tips for writing your vows

• Begin the process at least three months before the wedding
• Discuss your expectations with your partner, so you're on the same page
• Write no more than three drafts—continuously editing might cause you to overthink things
• Add only the important details—you don't need to include everything
• Avoid absolute words like "always" and "never"
• Be sentimental—if the words are heartfelt, they're not cheesy
• Seek inspiration from pop culture—movies, TV shows, books and songs are filled with words that capture the experience of being in love

Involve your guests in a ring-warming ceremony

Involving your guests in a ring-warming ceremony is a wonderful way to lengthen your wedding ceremony and create a unique and personalised experience. This centuries-old tradition, originating in Ireland, is a way of infusing your wedding bands with the love and blessings of your family and friends. Here are some tips on how to include a ring-warming ceremony in your wedding:

How it Works

The basic idea behind a ring-warming ceremony is that your wedding rings are passed around to your guests, who then "warm" them with a prayer, good wishes, or positive intentions for your future together. This can be done either before or during the ceremony. If done before the ceremony, the rings can be placed in a prominent box or container, allowing each guest to participate as they arrive and take their seats. If done during the ceremony, it can be more intimate, with the best man or officiant passing the rings to your families and wedding parties.

Keeping it Safe

It is important to ensure the rings are kept safe and secure. One way to do this is to tie the rings together with a string or ribbon, or to place them in a little dish or box. You can also assign a "ring chaperone" to keep an eye on the rings and make sure they are moving along smoothly.

Making it Meaningful

To add extra meaning to the ceremony, you can include a personalised script or reading. For example, you could reference a parent or close family member who cannot be there, or incorporate a piece of poetry or a reading while the rings are passed around. This is also a great way to explain the tradition to your guests, especially if they are unfamiliar with the custom.

Timing it Right

The ring-warming ceremony should take no longer than a few minutes. Each guest should hold the rings for just a few seconds, making a wish or saying a prayer before passing them on. If you have a large guest list, you can send one ring to one side of the room and the other ring to the other side, or just pass them to the front row or bridal party. Alternatively, you can have the rings "warmed" as guests arrive, so they are ready by the time the ceremony begins.

Include cultural traditions

Including cultural traditions in your wedding ceremony is a great way to honour your roots and add a personal touch to your special day. Here are some ideas to incorporate cultural traditions and make your wedding ceremony longer:

• Unity rituals: Many cultures have unity rituals that can be incorporated into your ceremony. For example, the unity candle ceremony involves lighting two taper candles and then using them to light a single pillar candle together, symbolizing your union. Another option is the sand ceremony, where you pour different-coloured sands into one vase, creating a unique blend that represents your coming together.
• Readings and poems: Include readings or poems that hold cultural significance for you. These can be religious passages, excerpts from cultural literature, or even personalized writings by you or your loved ones.
• Music and dance: Music and dance are integral parts of many cultural traditions. Include cultural songs or instrumental pieces during your ceremony, or perform traditional dances to lengthen the celebration.
• Symbolic objects: Use symbolic objects that hold cultural meaning. For example, in some Latin American and Filipino cultures, a lasso or rope is draped over the couple's shoulders during the ceremony to symbolize their union.
• Blessings and prayers: Invite your guests to participate in blessing your wedding rings or offering silent prayers during the ceremony. This can be a beautiful way to involve your loved ones and extend the length of the ceremony.
• Food and drink rituals: Food plays a significant role in many cultural wedding traditions. Consider incorporating a ritual involving food or drink, such as sharing a wedding sweetbread or performing a toast with a traditional beverage.
• Pre-wedding rituals: Don't forget about the rituals that can take place before the ceremony. For example, in some cultures, there are pre-wedding events like a henna party, a hammam, or a tea ceremony that can be incorporated into your wedding celebrations.
• Post-wedding rituals: Similarly, there are often post-wedding rituals that can add cultural significance to your day. These might include a money dance, where guests pin money to the bride's dress, or a cake-cutting ritual with charms and ribbons to predict future marriages.

Include children or pets

Including children or pets in your wedding ceremony is a great way to lengthen the proceedings and involve more people that are special to you. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

Involving Children

• Ask children to do a reading during the ceremony.
• Have children participate in a unity candle or sand ceremony.
• Include children in a ring-warming ceremony, where the rings are passed around for guests to bless before the couple exchanges them.
• Have children walk you down the aisle.
• Ask children to be videographers for the day, perhaps by attaching a GoPro to a child.
• Have children join you for pre-wedding events, such as engagement photos.

Involving Pets

• Bring your pets to the wedding as guests. You could have your dog walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids or stand with the groomsmen during the vows.
• Dress your pets for the occasion. You could give your dog a bow tie or a dress.
• Invite your pets to the getting-ready suite for photos.
• Have your pets join you for pre-wedding events, such as engagement photos.
• Include an illustration or photo of your pet on your wedding stationery, such as save-the-dates, invitations, or escort cards.
• Top your wedding cake with a replica of your pet.
• Create signature drinks inspired by your pets and include illustrations of them on the bar menu.
• Use illustrations or photos of your pets on cocktail napkins, koozies, or other wedding favours.
• Decorate your venue with illustrations or photos of your pets.
• Play with your pet while in your bridal attire and have a photographer capture the moment.
• Attach a GoPro to your pet to capture unique video footage during the ceremony.
• Make a grand entrance on horseback.
• Have your pets serve as ring bearers.
• Dress your pets in floral collars or wreaths made of greenery.
• Put your pets in pearl necklaces or faux pearl collars and leashes.
• Dress your pets in tuxedos or dresses.
• Have your pets join you for your first dance as a married couple.

Frequently asked questions