Writing Wedding Vows: A Guide To Personalizing Your Promises

Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalize your wedding. It can be a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be stressful. Here are some tips to help you get started:

- Start early: Give yourself plenty of time by starting a few months before your wedding. Jot down some bullet point ideas and consider what you want to say.

- Be yourself: Write your vows in your own voice and let your personality shine through. Don't worry about being too cheesy or romantic!

- Keep it simple: Focus on a few key points and anecdotes that are meaningful to you and your partner. You don't want your vows to be too long or too short.

- Make it personal: Share your feelings, experiences, and inside jokes. Talk about how your partner has changed you and what makes your relationship special.

- Include promises: Besides the traditional promises, consider adding some more down-to-earth and realistic promises that are aligned with your relationship.

- Edit and practice: Once you've written your vows, edit them to keep only the most meaningful parts. Then, practice reciting them until you know them by heart.

- Get inspiration: If you need some extra help, look for inspiration in movies, books, songs, or other couples' vows.

Introduction: Start with a warm greeting or a special nickname

The introduction is your chance to set the tone for your vows. It can be as simple as a warm greeting or using a special nickname that you call your partner. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• "My dearest [partner's name], today we gather here with our loved ones to celebrate our love and commitment to each other. My heart is filled with joy and gratitude as I stand here with you."
• "To my beloved [partner's name], on this beautiful day, surrounded by our family and friends, I am honoured to stand here with you and declare my love."
• "My love, as I look into your eyes, I am reminded of the incredible journey that has brought us to this moment. I am forever grateful to have you by my side."
• "To my [partner's name], my best friend, my confidant, and the love of my life. Today, we join our lives together and embark on a new chapter as husband and wife. I am thrilled to spend forever with you."
• "My [pet name], from the moment I met you, I knew that you were someone special. You have brought joy, laughter, and love into my life, and I am forever grateful. Today, I am excited to begin our married life together."

Reflection: Share a brief overview of your relationship journey

The reflection section of your wedding vows is a great opportunity to share a brief overview of your relationship journey. Here are some ideas to get you started:

How You Met

Begin by thinking about how you first met your partner. Was it love at first sight, or did your relationship develop over time? You can share a bit about the circumstances under which you met and how you felt when you first laid eyes on each other. This will give your guests a glimpse into the early days of your relationship and set the stage for the rest of your vows.

Milestones and Challenges

Another important aspect of your relationship journey is the milestones and challenges you've faced together. Think about the significant moments that have shaped your bond, such as moving in together, getting engaged, or overcoming a difficult obstacle. These experiences have likely brought you closer together and strengthened your commitment to one another. Sharing them in your vows will remind you both of how far you've come.

Inside Jokes and Special Moments

Including inside jokes or special moments in your reflection can add a touch of humour and intimacy to your vows. Think about the little things that make your relationship unique, like your shared love of a particular activity or the way you always make each other laugh. These moments may seem small, but they are what make your relationship special.

The Moment You Knew They Were "The One"

Sharing the moment you realised your partner was "the one" can be a powerful way to express your love and commitment. Think about what it was about your partner that made you realise they were the one for you. Was it their kindness, their sense of humour, or the way they supported you through a difficult time? This will not only showcase your partner's best qualities but also demonstrate how deeply you know and love them.

How Your Life Has Changed

Finally, take some time to reflect on how your life has changed since meeting your partner. How has your perspective on love and relationships evolved? What new experiences and opportunities have come your way because of your partner? This will not only showcase the impact your partner has had on your life but also emphasise the depth of your connection.

Qualities and Appreciation: Highlight specific qualities you love and appreciate in your partner

When writing your wedding vows, it's important to highlight specific qualities you love and appreciate about your partner. This is your chance to express what makes them so special to you and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Here are some tips and examples to help you get started:

Reflect on Their Positive Traits

Think about the qualities that make your partner who they are. Are they kind, compassionate, patient, or strong? Do they have a positive outlook on life? Are they always there for you when you need them? Make a list of the traits that stand out to you and choose a few to include in your vows. For example, you could say something like, "You are the most compassionate person I know. Your patience and understanding have helped me through so many difficult times, and I am forever grateful."

Share Specific Instances

Recall specific instances that showcase your partner's wonderful qualities. For example, if you want to highlight their sense of humour, you could say, "You always know how to make me laugh, even on my worst days. I'll never forget the time when..." Sharing a brief anecdote or two will add a personal touch to your vows and make them more engaging.

Express Your Admiration

Talk about how your partner's qualities have impacted your life. For example, "Your unwavering support and encouragement have helped me pursue my dreams. I admire your dedication and passion, and I strive to be more like you in that regard." Let them know that you not only appreciate their qualities but also aspire to emulate them.

Be Specific

Instead of making general statements, try to be specific about the qualities you love. For example, instead of saying, "You're always there for me," you could say, "I love how you always listen to me without judgement and offer a shoulder to cry on." Being specific makes your vows more meaningful and heartfelt.

Include a Mix of Serious and Lighthearted Qualities

Your vows don't have to be all serious. It's okay to include some lighthearted or quirky qualities that you love about your partner. For example, "I love how you always know the words to every song on the radio, and I secretly love your terrible dance moves." Including a mix of serious and lighthearted qualities will make your vows more dynamic and engaging.

Remember, when highlighting qualities and appreciation in your wedding vows, be authentic and speak from the heart. Share the qualities that truly stand out to you and express why they are important to you. Your partner will surely appreciate the thought and effort you put into your vows.

Promises: Make realistic promises

Making promises is an essential part of your wedding vows. They are what make your vows, well, vows, as opposed to a love letter or speech.

A good rule of thumb is to include three to six promises. Any more than that and your vows may lose their impact and emotional significance.

Focus on promises that are specific to you, your partner, and your relationship. You can include only serious promises, or mix in a few playful and humorous ones. Choose a style that fits your personality. However, even if your goal is to write funny wedding vows, include at least two serious promises to ground your vows.

Think about what kind of partner you wish to be, or how you want your future spouse to feel. You can also find inspiration in unconventional areas, like your fights. Think about common arguments or ongoing challenges you have. How can you turn that into a promise?

For example, if you're always running late for events, you could promise to be more punctual: "I promise that while I may not always be on time, I will do my best to not always be late."

• "I promise to trust and respect you."
• "I promise to laugh at your jokes... even the ones that are only kind of funny."
• "I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me."
• "I promise to always put God first in our marriage."
• "I promise to be honest and faithful."
• "I promise to always put our love first."
• "I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone."
• "I promise to chase your dreams alongside you."
• "I promise to create a home where we will become our own family."
• "I promise to build a happy and loving home with you."
• "I promise you my whole heart for my entire life."
• "I promise to travel the world with you."
• "I promise to watch your favorite reality TV shows with you."
• "I promise to not just say 'I love you' but to show you every day."
• "I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily."
• "I promise to never forget how we began and to allow that loving feeling to carry us through to our very end."
• "I promise you all of me, forever."

Remember, your vows are meant to solidify your commitment to your partner as you enter marriage. Use your promises to communicate how you envision your future together and what kind of partner you wish to be for them.

Future Together: Envision your future as a couple

When writing your wedding vows, it's important to envision your future as a couple and share your hopes and dreams for the life you'll build together. Here are some ideas to help you craft this section of your vows:

Talk about your future family

You can talk about the family you hope to have one day and what you're looking forward to sharing with your future children. You can also express your excitement about starting a family and building a home together. This will show your commitment to creating a life with your partner and including them in all your future plans.

Discuss your long-term goals

Consider where you hope to be in 5, 10, or even 30 years. Talk about your shared dreams and how you plan to achieve them together. This could include career aspirations, travel plans, or any other milestones you want to reach as a couple. By including these in your vows, you're affirming your commitment to supporting each other and working towards a shared future.

Share your vision for everyday life

Paint a picture of what your everyday life might look like. This could include simple moments like morning walks, cooking together, or just enjoying each other's company. By sharing these mundane yet meaningful moments, you're expressing your desire to be with your partner through the ups and downs of daily life.

Make promises for the future

In addition to sharing your dreams, make specific promises about how you'll support each other in the future. For example, you can promise to always be there for your partner, to encourage their dreams, or to face life's challenges together. These promises will strengthen your commitment to each other and show that you're in it for the long haul.

Express your optimism for the future

Finally, use this section of your vows to express your optimism and excitement for the future. Affirm your love and commitment, and let your partner know that you choose them today and every day. This will leave your partner (and your guests!) feeling confident about the future you'll build together.

Frequently asked questions