Pakistani weddings are vibrant, colourful, and fun celebrations that are deeply rooted in Pakistani culture. They are also long, often lasting up to ten days, and involve a variety of rituals, music, dance, and delicious food. If you're invited to a Pakistani wedding, you can expect a week of celebrations, love, and fun. From the pre-wedding rituals to the post-wedding traditions, there are many ways to make a Pakistani wedding enjoyable and memorable.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Duration | Pakistani weddings can last up to 10 days |
Guests | Guests range from 500 to 1000 people |
Food | Halal meat, tikka, kebabs, street-style food, chicken yakhni biryani, nihari gosht, haleem, gajar ka halwa, kheer, zarda, halwa poori paan, barbeque |
Music | Dhol, dholak, bhangra |
Dance | Women perform dances for the bride throughout the night |
Decorations | Extravagant and elegant, with intricate beading and embellishments |
Clothing | Bridal: shalwar kameez, sari, lehenga; Groom: shalwar qameez, sherwani, or Western suit; Guests: saree, lehenga, sherwani |
Rituals | Dholki, mehndi/henna night, baraat, rukhsati, walima, chauthi, mayun, nikkah, ubtan/haldi |
What You'll Learn
Pre-wedding rituals: Mehndi, Dholki and Mayun ceremonies
Pre-wedding rituals: Mehndi, Dholki, and Mayun ceremonies
Dholki
The Dholki is a pre-celebration that takes place one to two weeks before the main wedding ceremony. It involves the bridal party, close friends, and family members of the couple, who sing and dance while beating on a dholak drum. It is traditionally a home-based celebration but can also be held at a guesthouse or hall.
To make it fun, you can create a theme with decor and lighting. For instance, a simple stage with fairy lights and floral decorations. You can also add neon signage and colourful fairy lights throughout the house.
As it is a close family affair, you can organise song-singing competitions and dedicate songs to family members and friends. You can also include other fun activities like musical nights or games.
Mayun
The Mayun, also known as Mayian, Maiyun, Haldi, or Ubtan, is a ceremony held the day before the wedding at the couple's parental homes. It consists of various rites, including the Batna, Choora, Jaggo, fireworks, and sometimes the Ladies Sangeet and Mehndi.
During the Batna, the couple's families rub a paste of turmeric on the couple's legs, face, and arms, while they sit on a patri (a special embroidered red board) under a red cloth held by four women. This is to cleanse and balance the couple's bodies for married life.
The Jaggo ceremony involves the family dancing and singing in the street in front of the decorated wedding home. Copper vessels called "gaffers" are decorated with clay lamps, filled with mustard oil, and lit. The bride or groom's maternal aunt carries it on her head, and another lady carries a stick with bells. They then go into friends' and families' homes, where they are welcomed with sweets and drinks, dancing, and celebrating.
Mehndi
The Mehndi ceremony, also known as henna night, is held the night before the main wedding ceremony. Intricate henna patterns are drawn on the bride's hands and feet to symbolise luck, joy, and love. The groom's name is sometimes hidden within the design. In recent years, the groom has also participated, with his loved ones applying oil to his head.
The Mehndi ceremony includes music and dancing, and it is common to host it together with the Sangeet (a pre-wedding event with singing and dancing) to create one large celebration.
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The Nikah ceremony
The ceremony involves the couple reciting religious verses, exchanging vows, and signing the marriage contract. The bride and groom might also perform the Munh Dikhai, where they look at each other in a mirror while wearing an embroidered shawl over their heads. This is an old tradition and not as prevalent now. They also taste honey to symbolise their marriage's sweetness.
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Baraat and Rukhsati: Groom's procession and bride's departure
Baraat and Rukhsati: Grooms procession and brides departure
The Baraat is a joyful and grand procession for the groom, accompanied by his family and friends. The groom traditionally arrives at the wedding venue seated on a decorated horse or in a luxury car, with his procession following in different vehicles. The procession is often accompanied by the beats of a dhol drum, with the groom's guests dancing in front of him. The atmosphere is celebratory, with music, dancing, and sometimes fireworks.
The bride's family warmly welcomes the groom with flower garlands and rose petals. It is customary for the bride's sisters and friends to playfully stop the baraat from entering until they are given a sufficient amount of cash. This usually leads to harmless banter between the bride's and groom's sides. The groom's family and the bride's family then exchange glasses of juice or sherbet, along with money.
The Rukhsati is an emotional moment when the bride bids farewell to her family and leaves with her husband to start her new life. The bride's family blesses her and showers her with petals as she steps into the car or palanquin that will take her to her new home, the groom's house. Traditionally, the groom would have travelled to the bride's house on a decorated horse and, after the wedding, would have taken his wife in a doli (palanquin) to his parents' house. Nowadays, cars have replaced horses and carts, and the bride often has tears in her eyes as she sits quietly beside her husband, leaving for her new home.
The Qur'an is usually held over the bride's head as she walks from the stage to the exit to bless her. This marks the bride's formal departure from her parental home and is a sombre occasion for her family, as they say goodbye to their daughter.
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Walima: The reception
The Walima is a reception hosted by the groom's family, usually held a day or a few days after the wedding. It is a formal event where family members, friends, and acquaintances come together to celebrate the union of the newlyweds and their families. The Walima is often a lavish affair, with extravagant decorations, lighting, and florals. Here are some ideas to make your Walima a fun and memorable event:
Set the Tone with Music and Entertainment
Music and entertainment are key elements in creating a fun and lively atmosphere at your Walima. Hire a DJ or live band to play upbeat music that will get your guests moving. You can also consider hiring traditional Pakistani musicians or dancers to perform and add a cultural touch to your reception.
Create a Stunning Entrance
Make a grand entrance with the bride and groom, marking their first public appearance as a married couple. They can arrive in a luxury car or even on a ceremonial horse, accompanied by their wedding party. This will surely create a memorable moment for both the couple and their guests.
Offer Delicious Food and Drinks
Food is an important part of any Pakistani wedding, and the Walima is no exception. Offer a variety of traditional Pakistani dishes, such as tikka, kebabs, biryani, or street-style food counters. Don't forget to include some sweet treats as well, such as gajar ka halwa, kheer, or zarda. A well-fed guest is a happy guest!
Decorate with Opulence
Go all out with your decorations to create an elegant and sophisticated ambiance. Floral arrangements, extravagant lighting, and luxurious fabrics can transform your venue into a magical space. Consider using colourful carpets and pillows to create a cosy and inviting atmosphere.
Plan Fun Activities and Games
Engage your guests with fun activities and games throughout the reception. This could include traditional Pakistani wedding games, such as joota chupai, where the groom's shoes are hidden, or interactive activities like a photo booth or a dance-off competition.
Incorporate Personal Touches
Add a personal touch to your Walima by including elements that reflect the couple's personality and interests. This could be through customised decorations, a unique theme, or even a signature cocktail or dessert created by the couple. These personal touches will make your reception more intimate and memorable.
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Post-wedding traditions: Chauthi and Valima
Pakistani weddings are vibrant, colourful, and culturally rich celebrations that involve a series of customs, traditions, and rituals. They are deeply rooted in Pakistani culture and can last up to ten days.
On the fourth day after the wedding, it is customary for the bride's parents to host a dinner called Chauthi. The newlyweds visit the bride's parental home, where she reconnects with her family and celebrates the beginning of her new life. This visit is called Chauthi, and it is a post-wedding ritual that takes place on the fourth day after the wedding. The groom's family is invited to a lavish dinner, and they participate in fun traditions like joota chupai, a game of stealing and hiding the groom's shoes.
The Valima is the groom's family's reception, similar to the Walima (a reception hosted by the groom's family to celebrate the couple's marriage), but hosted by the bride's side. It is an occasion to introduce the couple as a married pair to the bride's family and community. The newlyweds are celebrated, and the union of the two families is marked with fervour and glee.
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Frequently asked questions
Pre-wedding rituals in Pakistani culture include the Dholki, where the bridal party, close friends, and family members of the couple sing and dance to the beat of a dholak drum. There is also the Mehndi ceremony, where intricate henna designs are applied to the hands and feet of the bride and female guests, accompanied by music, dancing, and singing.
During the main event, there is the Baraat, a joyful procession for the groom with live music and dancing, and sometimes a ceremonial horse. There is also the Rukhsati, an emotional moment when the bride bids farewell to her family and leaves with her husband to start their new life together.
The Walima or Valima is the wedding reception, usually hosted by the groom's family, which includes a lavish feast and is a huge celebration with music, dancing, and extravagant decorations.
A post-wedding tradition in Pakistani culture is the Chauthi, which takes place on the fourth day after the wedding. The bride returns to her parental home, accompanied by her husband, to visit her family and celebrate the beginning of her new life.