Planning A Wedding: Budgeting For The Big Day

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but creating a budget can help you stay on track and ensure you don't overspend. The first step is to figure out who is contributing financially to the wedding and how much they are willing to spend. Be sure to have respectful and open conversations with your family and your partner's family about their expectations and your budget. Once you have an idea of how much financial assistance you will receive, you can focus on your own contribution.

The next step is to estimate your guest count, as the cost of a wedding is largely based on the number of guests. The number of guests will determine the size of your venue and the amount of food and alcohol you will need to provide, which are two of the biggest wedding expenses.

With a ballpark budget and guest count in mind, you can start to choose your non-negotiables and allocate your budget accordingly. It's important to be realistic about what you can afford and to prioritize the aspects of the wedding that are most important to you and your partner.

To help you create your budget, here is a list of common wedding expenses and the percentage of your budget they typically account for:

- Venue and catering: 35-45%

- Wedding planning: 5-15%

- Photography, videography, and content creation: 8-12%

- Stationery: 2-5%

- Wedding attire and beauty: 5-9%

- Music and entertainment: 5-10%

- Flowers: 6-10%

- Decor: 5-10%

- Transportation: 3-5%

- Cake: 2-3%

- Favors and gifts: 1-2%

- Tips: 2%

Who is contributing to the wedding fund?

When it comes to funding a wedding, it's important to first figure out who is contributing financially. This could be you and your partner, family members, or a combination of both. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations about how much each party is willing and able to contribute, as this will impact the overall budget for the wedding.

In recent years, it has become more common for couples to pay for a large portion of the wedding themselves. According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, in 2023, couples covered 50% of the wedding budget, while parents or family contributed the other 50%. However, this can vary depending on factors such as the couple's financial situation, income, assets, and personal preferences.

If you're planning a wedding, it's a good idea to have these conversations early on to get a clear picture of how much money you have to work with. It's also important to be respectful and understanding if someone is unable to contribute as much as you might hope.

Once you have an idea of how much financial assistance you'll receive, you can then focus on your own contribution as a couple. This includes considering your monthly income, savings, and any additional money you can save before the wedding.

Additionally, it's worth noting that the average age of marriage is now 32, so couples are often in a better financial position to handle wedding costs. However, it's important to prioritize financial stability and not go into debt to fund your wedding.

What can you afford?

When it comes to planning a wedding, it's important to be realistic about what you can afford. Here are some steps to help you figure out your budget:

• Figure out your finances: Determine how much you and your partner can realistically and comfortably afford to spend on the wedding. Consider your monthly income, savings, and any expected financial contributions from family or friends. Be sure to have open and honest conversations about finances, as these can be tricky conversations to navigate.
• Estimate your guest count: The cost of a wedding is largely dependent on the number of guests. The more guests you invite, the bigger the venue, the more food and alcohol you'll need, and the higher the overall cost.
• Prioritize your non-negotiables: Discuss with your partner what aspects of the wedding are most important to you both. Is it the food, the venue, the entertainment, or something else? Prioritize these items in your budget and allocate a larger percentage of your funds to them.
• Consider hidden costs: Remember to factor in hidden costs such as tips for vendors, overtime fees, service charges, and extra decorations. These expenses can add up quickly, so it's important to be aware of them from the start.
• Create a budget breakdown: Allocate your budget across different categories such as venue, catering, photography, attire, flowers, decor, transportation, etc. There are many online resources and budget templates available to help you with this step.
• Be flexible and make adjustments: If your estimated costs exceed your budget, don't panic! You can cut expenses, find more budget-friendly vendors, negotiate better deals, or ask for help from friends and family.

Remember, your wedding budget should be realistic and aligned with your financial situation. Don't feel pressured to impress others or live up to unrealistic standards. Focus on what's truly important to you and your partner, and you'll create a wedding that's both memorable and financially responsible.

What are your non-negotiables?

When it comes to planning a wedding, there are many things to consider and compromise on. However, some aspects are non-negotiable and should be prioritised. Here are some key non-negotiables to keep in mind:

• Mutual Respect: A strong foundation for any successful partnership is mutual respect. It is essential to ensure a healthy and lasting relationship, and any behaviour that undermines this should not be tolerated.
• Honesty: While small white lies may occur, a pattern of consistent dishonesty is a red flag. Open and honest communication is key.
• Support: A relationship should involve supporting each other's endeavours and ambitions. This includes emotional support and encouragement to pursue dreams and goals.
• Acceptance of Differences: It is important to accept and adapt to differences, whether in interests, goals, or cultural backgrounds. This fosters a more inclusive and loving environment.
• Passion: Passion is essential for a lasting relationship. It could be a deal-breaker if it is lacking, especially when imagining a long-term future together.
• Core Values: While some differences can be navigated, it is crucial to share core values and beliefs. This includes moral and ethical stances, as well as political and religious views.
• Dependability: Your partner should be someone you can rely on and trust to keep their promises. Feeling constantly let down can be detrimental to the relationship.
• Respect for Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for a healthy dynamic. Disrespect for personal boundaries, such as privacy, can indicate trust issues or a desire for an unhealthy codependent relationship.
• Future Plans: If your visions for the future are drastically different, it may be a deal-breaker. This includes plans for children, pets, living arrangements, and career goals.
• Financial Goals: Discussing financial goals and responsibilities is crucial. This includes saving for shared goals, such as a house or wedding, and ensuring both parties are comfortable with the financial decisions.
• Empathy: Having a partner who can provide emotional support and empathy during difficult times is essential. A lack of empathy can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment.
• Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy are vital for a healthy relationship. This includes cuddling, physical affection, and sexual intimacy.
• Trust: Mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without trust, there is no basis for a secure and fulfilling future together.
• Sense of Humour: Being able to laugh and smile together, even during tough times, is important. A shared sense of humour can help lighten the mood and create lasting memories.
• Lack of Excessive Jealousy: While a little jealousy is normal, excessive jealousy and paranoia can be toxic and push partners away. It is important to address and manage these feelings in a healthy manner.
• Addressing Addictions: If your partner struggles with any form of addiction, such as gambling or substance abuse, it is crucial to address it. These issues can lead to financial and emotional strain and should not be ignored.
• Abuse: Any form of abuse, be it physical, emotional, or financial, is unacceptable. It should never be tolerated or negotiated, and professional help should be sought to ensure the safety of all involved.
• Shared Responsibility: In a relationship, both partners should contribute equally to household tasks and responsibilities. An unwillingness to participate in shared duties can create resentment and an unhealthy power dynamic.
• Effective Communication: Open, honest, and mature communication is vital. The inability to communicate effectively can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts.
• Ability to Apologise: Being able to admit when you are wrong and offer a sincere apology is a sign of maturity. Relationships require healthy conflict resolution, and a refusal to apologise can lead to resentment.

How much to allocate to each category?

Now that you have a rough idea of your wedding budget, it's time to break it down into categories. This will ensure that you don't overspend in certain areas and that you have enough funds for the most important aspects of your big day.

The first step is to create a rough draft of your guest list. The number of guests will impact the cost of food and beverages, as well as the size of the venue, the number of tables, and more. So, be strategic about who you invite.

Next, you'll want to divide your budget into sections: "for you" (your dreams) and "for them" (taking care of your guests' basic needs). According to wedding planner Alicia Fritz, you should be prepared to spend the most (around 40%) on your guests' needs, which include the venue, food, and beverages.

The remaining amount can then be allocated to other categories, such as:

• Wedding planning: 5-15%
• Photography, videography, and content creation: 10-12%
• Stationery: 2-5%
• Wedding attire and beauty: 5-9%
• Music and entertainment: 5-10%
• Flowers: 6-8%
• Decor: 5-10%
• Transportation: 2-5%
• Cake: 2-3%
• Favors and gifts: 1-2%
• Tips: 2%
• Emergency fund: 5-15%

It's important to note that these are just rough estimates, and you may need to adjust them based on your priorities and preferences. For example, if having a live band is a must-have for you, you can allocate more money to the music and entertainment category and cut back on decor or transportation.

Additionally, don't forget to consider hidden costs, such as beauty treatments, bachelor/bachelorette parties, vendor meals, and overtime costs. These small expenses can add up quickly, so it's a good idea to build some wiggle room into your budget.

Finally, remember that your location and the time of year you're getting married will also impact your budget. Weddings in big cities like New York or Los Angeles will generally be more expensive than those in smaller towns or rural areas. And if you're planning a wedding during peak season (May-October), expect to pay a premium for venues and vendors.

How to track your budget?

Tracking your wedding budget is crucial to staying on top of your wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you keep your spending in check:

• Utilise a spreadsheet or a budget app to monitor your expenses.
• Open a joint savings or checking account specifically for wedding expenses to keep things separate and organised.
• Ask vendors for all taxes and fees upfront to avoid any surprises.
• Include vendor tips in your initial budget to account for these extra costs.
• Be mindful of hidden costs, such as hair and makeup trials, food and drink tastings, and travel to and from your venue.
• Use credit cards wisely and only for expenses that can be paid off within 30 days to avoid accruing interest.
• Consider using a wedding budget platform or app, such as Aisle Planner, Google Sheets, or Excel templates, to manage your budget.
• Create a detailed spreadsheet with categories and line items for each expense. Include columns for vendor contract information, estimated cost, actual cost, additional service fees, tips, transportation and parking costs, and taxes.
• Regularly update your spreadsheet with actual costs and use the auto-sum function to calculate your total spending.
• Be prepared to adjust your budget as you go along, as costs may change or unexpected expenses may arise.

Frequently asked questions