Join Us For The Wedding Reception!

Wedding plans have been heavily impacted by the global pandemic, with many couples opting for smaller, more intimate ceremonies, or even virtual weddings. As a result, reception-only invites are rising in popularity. These are sent to guests who are not invited to the ceremony, or when the couple has already been wed in a private elopement ceremony.

Reception-only invites are useful when a couple wants to have a small, private ceremony followed by a larger reception. They are also common for destination weddings or elopements, where the couple plans to have an in-town celebration later.

When sending out invitations, it's important to be transparent about the ceremony and make it clear that the invite is for a celebration, using terms like recent union or recent marriage. It's also a good idea to include a ceremony photo if the wedding has already taken place.

Make two guest lists

Making two guest lists is a great way to ensure that your wedding day is shared with your nearest and dearest, while still being able to celebrate with a wider group of friends and acquaintances. Here are some tips on how to make two guest lists for your wedding:

Create a Master List

Start by writing down the names of everyone you would invite if there were no limitations. Begin with immediate family and close friends, and work outwards to include colleagues, distant relatives, and acquaintances. This master list will be the basis for your two guest lists.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

Now, go through your master list and highlight those that are non-negotiable - the people you absolutely must have at your wedding. This might include parents, siblings, close friends, and grandparents. These are the people you are closest to and couldn't imagine getting married without them by your side.

Consider Your Budget and Venue

The size of your venue and your budget will play a significant role in determining your guest list. A larger venue might accommodate more guests, but a bigger guest list will also impact your budget. Consider how many people you can realistically afford to host, and whether you need to trim your list accordingly.

Allocate Guest Lists

With your non-negotiables confirmed, you can now allocate your guests into two lists: those invited to the ceremony and reception, and those invited to the reception only. The ceremony and reception guest list can be as small as you wish, whether it's just immediate family or a slightly larger group of close family and friends.

Stick to Your Decision

Once you've decided on your guest lists, it's important to stick to your decision. You might encounter pressure from guests invited only to the reception to be included in the ceremony as well. However, making exceptions can quickly lead to a larger ceremony than you envisioned. Communicate your excitement about celebrating with them at the reception, and express your gratitude for their presence on your special day.

Plan the Timeline

If you're having the ceremony and reception on the same day, consider having the ceremony earlier to allow for plenty of celebration time afterward. This also gives you an opportunity to take pictures before the reception guests arrive. If you're having the ceremony and reception on different days or weeks, you have more flexibility but will need to plan accordingly.

Invitation Wording

When it comes to invitations, it's best to print two different types: one for guests invited to both the ceremony and reception, and another for those invited to the reception only. The reception-only invitation should clearly indicate that it is for a celebration following the wedding. Include an extra card with ceremony details for those invited to the intimate ceremony.

Manage Expectations

Be mindful that some guests might feel left out or disappointed if they are not invited to the ceremony. To manage expectations, communicate your vision for an intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception. Emphasize that you want to keep the ceremony small and that you're excited to celebrate with them at the reception.

Be honest about your reasons for limiting the ceremony

Being honest about your reasons for limiting the ceremony guest list is essential to maintaining good relationships with your friends and family. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive situation:

Be Transparent and Compassionate: Explain your reasoning clearly and compassionately. For example, you could say, "We are limiting the ceremony to immediate family due to space constraints at our venue, but we would be honoured to celebrate with you at the reception." Being honest about the limitations of your venue shows that you are not playing favourites but are constrained by logistics.

Give Advance Notice: If possible, communicate your decision as early as you can. This gives your friends and family time to process the information and understand your reasoning. It also allows them to plan their time, especially if they are travelling or need to make babysitting arrangements.

Offer Alternative Ways to Participate: If you have friends or family who are disappointed about not being invited to the ceremony, offer them alternative ways to be involved. For example, you could ask them to participate in the pre-wedding festivities, such as the bachelorette or bridal shower. You could also suggest getting together for a post-wedding lunch or dinner to share photos and memories from the ceremony.

Consider Videotaping or Livestreaming the Ceremony: Another way to include those who cannot attend the ceremony is to videotape or livestream it. This way, they can still feel like they are part of the special moment, even if they cannot be there in person.

Be Consistent: To avoid hurt feelings, be consistent in your approach. If you are limiting the ceremony to immediate family, stick to that guideline. Avoid inviting some friends but not others, as this could create tension and hurt feelings.

Remember, your wedding is about celebrating your love and commitment with the people who matter to you. By being honest and compassionate in your communication, you can ensure that your friends and family understand your decisions and feel valued as guests at your reception.

Send invites 6-8 weeks in advance

Sending your invites out 6-8 weeks in advance is considered good wedding etiquette and gives your guests ample time to prepare and plan. This is especially important if your wedding is taking place at a busy time of year, such as during the summer or Christmas, or if your guests will need to travel to attend your wedding. Sending your invites in advance also gives you time to chase up any guests who haven't RSVP'd.

If you are planning to have a small, intimate ceremony and a larger reception, you will need to send two different invitations: a reception-only main card and a smaller card inviting people to the ceremony. Guests who are invited to both the ceremony and the reception get both cards, while reception-only guests only receive the reception card.

It is also important to ensure that your invitations are worded correctly. You want to make it clear that the wedding ceremony has already taken place and that guests are being invited to a reception to celebrate the marriage. Here are some examples of wording for your invitations:

• ""[Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding reception to celebrate their marriage..."
• " [Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company for a wedding reception, following an intimate wedding ceremony with close friends and family."
• "The newlyweds [Names of the couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• " [Names of the couple] will be married in a small ceremony on [date]. Please join us at their wedding reception on [date]."

Include an RSVP option

Including an RSVP option in your wedding reception invitation is a great way to get an accurate headcount for your big day. Here are some tips and suggestions on how to do this:

Wording and Format

The RSVP card should include the following information:

• A blank line for guests to write their names: This guarantees that you know who is attending and how to spell their names correctly for any place cards or seating charts.
• The RSVP reply due date: It is customary to set this date for about three to four weeks before the wedding.
• The "will attend" and "unable to attend" lines: These simple phrases indicate whether guests plan to attend or not.
• Choice of entrées (if applicable): If you are offering meal choices, include this on the RSVP card so guests can select their preference.

"the twenty-second of September

_Accepts with Pleasure _Declines with Regrets"

You can also add a fun twist to your RSVP card with whimsical phrases like "Two words… free booze!" or "I'll be there with bells on."

Digital RSVPs

You may also choose to include digital RSVP options, especially if you have a wedding website. This can be a great way to streamline the process and make it easier for your guests to respond. The Knot, for example, offers a free wedding website feature that includes an easy-to-use online RSVP function.

Mailing the RSVP Cards

When mailing your RSVP cards, it is customary to include pre-addressed and stamped envelopes to make it convenient for your guests to respond. The envelopes should match the theme and formality of your wedding and can include the same stamp you use on your main invitation.

Following Up

Finally, it is important to give your guests some grace if they forget to RSVP by the due date. A friendly call or email a week after the deadline will likely be enough to get an accurate headcount for your wedding day.

Be transparent about the ceremony

Being transparent about the ceremony is crucial when inviting someone to just the wedding reception. Here are some tips to ensure your guests have clear information:

Create Two Separate Guest Lists

Before sending out any invitations, create two guest lists: one for those invited to the ceremony and reception, and another for those invited to the reception only. This will help you tailor your invitations and ensure no one is confused about which parts of the wedding they are attending.

Choose Clear Wording

When inviting guests to just the reception, it's essential that your invitation wording is crystal clear. Instead of inviting guests to witness the marriage, the wording should indicate they are being invited to a reception celebrating the marriage. Here are some examples:

• ""[Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company for a reception in celebration of their new marriage."
• "The newlyweds [Names of the couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• ""[Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding reception to celebrate their marriage."

Include an Extra Card for Ceremony Details

If you have guests who are invited to both the ceremony and reception, you can include an extra card with ceremony details in their invitation suite. This way, you provide all the necessary information while keeping the main invitation focused on the reception.

Be Consistent Across Communication

Maintain consistency in your communication about the wedding, especially when responding to queries from guests. Reinforce that you are looking forward to celebrating with them at the reception and are grateful for their presence at the event.

Stick to Your Decision

Once the invitations are sent and guests start responding, stay firm in your decision. If some guests try to pressure you into inviting them to the ceremony as well, politely but firmly decline. Making an exception for one guest may lead to a chain of similar requests, complicating your plans.

Frequently asked questions