Guide To Inviting Friends To Your Wedding

Planning a wedding guest list is one of the earliest and most challenging parts of wedding planning. It can be stressful to decide who to include and often involves navigating complex family dynamics and relationships. It is essential to remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who are closest to you and your partner. When deciding who to invite, consider your budget, venue capacity, and the type of wedding you want. Be strategic and start by creating groups of family members and friends, beginning with those closest to you.

If budget and space allow, you may invite extended family, casual friends, and acquaintances. However, if you are working with a limited guest list, you may need to be more selective. It is also important to handle invitations sensitively, especially when inviting guests at the last minute. Be creative and flexible with your invitations, and remember that your wedding day is about celebrating with the people who matter most to you.

Who to invite: family, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances?

Deciding who to invite to your wedding is one of the earliest and hardest parts of planning your big day. It's not just about writing down names; there's strategy involved. The number of people you invite will impact your venue selection, wedding style, and, most importantly, your budget. The more guests you invite, the more you'll likely spend, so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

Immediate family members

This includes your and your partner's parents, siblings, and grandparents. Your siblings' spouses and children should also be included in this group. If you have stepparents, step-siblings, or half-siblings, they are also considered immediate family and should be at the top of your guest list.

Wedding party members

Your wedding party, including the maid of honour, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, and others, should be at the top of your guest list. These people are likely to be included in the other groupings as well.

Close friends and chosen family

Your closest friends and chosen family are also on the must-invite list. These loved ones may be included in your wedding party.

Close family

Once you've added your VIPs to the list, move on to close family, such as aunts, uncles, and first cousins. Depending on the number of relatives, your relationship with them, and the desired size of your wedding, you may invite all or some of these relatives.

Family friends

Family friends are people who watched you grow up, and if you're still in touch with them, they may receive a place on your wedding guest list.

Friends

Friends can come from different parts of your life: childhood, school, sports, work, clubs, social or religious groups, and more. Your best bet is to only add friends who you're still in touch with now.

Distant relatives

You probably have some relatives who you see once every few years. If you enjoy their company and think they will add to your day, feel free to invite them. But if you're not close, they shouldn't make the cut.

Colleagues

You don't have to invite colleagues to your wedding. However, if you're friends with them outside of work, you can definitely add them to your guest list.

Acquaintances

Acquaintances like social media contacts, former colleagues, or neighbours you don't know well don't usually make the guest list. However, if you're having a huge wedding and inviting everyone you've ever met, you may want to include them.

Plus-ones

The great plus-one debate is always a tricky subject. Anyone who is in a serious relationship (engaged, married, living together, dating for over a year) should be invited with a plus-one, whether you know their partner well or not. If you want to allow all your single guests to bring a date, you can do so, but this is not required.

Children

People have mixed opinions on inviting kids to weddings. Some think they bring a sense of fun, while others think they are loud and distracting. Whatever you decide, it's recommended to make a rule and stick to it—no exceptions. You are allowed to only invite children who are in the wedding party (flower girls, ring bearers, etc.) and not others.

People not to invite

• Coworkers who aren't friends
• People with whom you have strained relationships
• Exes
• People who invited you to their wedding but are no longer friends

How to invite: digital, virtual, or physical invites?

When it comes to inviting friends to your wedding, you have a few options: digital, virtual, or physical invites. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages, so it's important to choose the one that best suits your needs and preferences. Here's a more detailed look at each option:

Digital Invites:

Digital wedding invitations are a modern alternative to traditional paper invites. They are usually sent via email, but can also be sent via text or link. Digital invitations are typically less expensive than physical invitations, and they are more environmentally friendly since they reduce paper waste. Additionally, digital invitations are convenient and can be sent out quickly, making them a good option for last-minute weddings. You can also track RSVPs easily online and streamline the planning process. However, digital invitations may feel less formal and might not be accessible to all guests, especially older individuals who are not as tech-savvy.

Virtual Invites:

Virtual invites are similar to digital invites in that they are sent electronically, but they often include more interactive elements. With virtual invites, you can create a personalized event page or website for your wedding, where guests can RSVP, view event details, and even upload photos. Virtual invites can be a great way to create a cohesive package for your wedding, with matching save-the-dates, invitations, and thank-you cards. They also offer convenient tracking features for RSVPs and can be customized with various design elements. However, virtual invites may also have accessibility issues for some guests, and there may be additional costs for certain design features or premium packages.

Physical Invites:

Physical wedding invitations are the traditional option, involving paper invitations sent through the mail. They can be more formal and elegant, and many people appreciate the sentimentality of receiving a physical invitation. Physical invitations can also be customized with various paper types, printing styles, and design elements to match your wedding theme. Additionally, physical invitations can be used as keepsakes or mementos, either for the guests or for the couple to cherish. However, physical invitations can be more costly due to printing and postage expenses, and there is a risk of them getting lost or damaged in the mail.

In conclusion, the type of invitation you choose depends on your personal preferences, budget, and the level of formality you want for your wedding. Digital and virtual invites are modern, convenient, and environmentally friendly, while physical invites offer a more traditional and formal experience. You can also consider combining digital and physical invites to get the best of both worlds!

When to invite: timing and sending invites

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is everything. Send them too early, and your special day might slip your guests' minds. Send them too late, and they might not have enough time to prepare. So, when is the right time?

Save-the-Dates

It's common for couples to send out save-the-date cards before the official invitations. These are typically sent out four to six months before the wedding, but for destination weddings or weddings during a busy holiday period, it's a good idea to send them even earlier (six to 12 months in advance). Save-the-dates are especially helpful for guests who need to make travel arrangements.

Official Invitations

The general rule of thumb is to send out official wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner, allowing you to finalise seating charts and other details before the crunch of the final week.

If you're inviting a lot of international guests, or if your wedding is at a distant location, it's a good idea to send invitations a little earlier (around 12 weeks in advance). For a small number of international guests, it's fine to send their formal invitations at the same time as other guests, but be sure to give them a heads-up about the wedding details ahead of time.

RSVPs

It's important to give your guests enough time to respond to your invitation. The recommended deadline for RSVPs is around one month before the wedding. This gives you enough time to get a final headcount and make any necessary adjustments to your plans.

So, to ensure your guests have all the information they need, and to give yourself plenty of time to prepare, be sure to follow these timing guidelines for your wedding invitations.

What to include: RSVP, plus-ones, and gifts

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few key components to include: RSVP, plus-ones, and gifts. Here are some tips on what to include and how to go about it.

RSVP

The first thing to include on your RSVP cards is a blank line for guests to write their names. On a formal RSVP card, it is customary to write an "M" at the start of the line, indicating that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. This guarantees that you know who is attending and how to spell their names correctly on the seating chart.

You can also indicate the number of guests invited to avoid any confusion. For example, you can add a line that says, "_ seats have been reserved in your honour." This way, guests know exactly how many plus-ones or family members are invited.

It is also essential to include an attendance line for guests to accept or decline the invitation. This could be in the format of checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines. An RSVP deadline is also crucial, usually set around four weeks before the wedding date, to finalise numbers for vendors and other arrangements.

Plus-ones

When addressing the invitations, be clear about who is invited. If plus-ones are welcome, indicate this on the envelope, for example, "Mr John Smith and Guest." If children are invited, include their names on the inner envelope to ensure clarity.

Gifts

While gifts are not mandatory, it is customary for guests to bring or send a gift to the newlyweds. A thoughtful, personalised gift is always a nice touch. If the couple has registered for gifts, be sure to choose something from their registry. Otherwise, a gift card or a contribution to their honeymoon fund is always appreciated.

In conclusion, when inviting a friend to your wedding, be clear about the RSVP process, including the deadline and the number of guests invited. Indicate whether plus-ones are welcome, and be thoughtful with your gift choices if you are giving one.

Where to invite: venue, date, and time

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to provide guests with clear information about the date, time, and venue of the wedding so that they know when and where to show up. Here are some tips and guidelines on how to include this information in your wedding invitations:

Venue

When listing the venue, it is customary to write the name and full street address of the wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If the wedding is taking place abroad, be sure to include the country as well. The venue's street address is typically only omitted if the wedding is held at a private residence. Here are some examples of how to word the venue details:

• "at [Venue Name], [City, State]
• "at [Venue Name] on [Street Address], [City, State]
• "at the home of [Host's Name], [Address], [City, State]"

If the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply add "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation. However, if the reception is at a different location, it is best to include a separate reception card with the invitation suite that provides the full address and other relevant details.

Date and Time

The date and time of the wedding should be spelled out in full on the invitation, especially for more formal or traditional weddings. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 p.m., the wording could be:

• "Saturday, the seventeenth of August, two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon"
• "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at four-thirty in the afternoon"

For more casual or modern weddings, you can use numerical figures and a more informal phrasing, such as:

"Saturday, August 17, 2024, 4:30 p.m."

If your wedding is scheduled for noon, you can simply write "noon" instead of spelling out "twelve o'clock." For times between noon and 5 p.m., you can indicate the afternoon, and for times after 5 p.m., you can indicate the evening.

It is also worth noting that you don't have to include the day of the week or the year on the invitation, but it is recommended.

Additional Considerations

• Consistency: Try to maintain consistency in the formatting of the date and time throughout your invitation suite, including any response or enclosure cards.
• Early Start Time: To avoid guests arriving late, some couples opt to print an earlier start time on the invitations, usually no more than 15 minutes earlier than the actual start time.
• Multiple Venues: If you have multiple venues or events throughout the wedding weekend, you can include this information on a separate details or activity card enclosed with the invitation.
• Online Information: You can also direct guests to your wedding website for more detailed information about the venue, date, and time, as well as any other relevant wedding details.

Frequently asked questions