Save The Date": Including Kids In Your Wedding Plan

Save-the-date cards are an important part of wedding planning as they inform guests about the wedding date and location and let them know they are invited to the celebration. While it is not necessary to include the names of children on save-the-date cards, it is important to specify the number of seats reserved for each family to avoid confusion. This can be done by writing We've reserved [number] seats in your honour on the invitation or denoting the number in the blank space provided on the RSVP card. Addressing the save-the-date cards to specific individuals, such as Mr. and Mrs. Smith instead of The Smith Family, is another way to indicate that only adults are invited. Including a wedding website on the save-the-date card can also help provide additional information and clarify that the wedding is adults-only.

How to address save-the-date cards to families with children

Save-the-date cards are an important part of wedding planning as they inform guests about the wedding date and location and let them know that they are invited to the celebration. When addressing save-the-date cards to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure proper etiquette.

First, it is important to specify who is invited to the wedding. This can be done by addressing the envelope to the adults of the household, using their names and prefixes, such as "Mr." and "Mrs.". For example, if you are inviting a family with children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" instead of "The Smith Family". This makes it clear that only the parents are invited, not the children.

Another way to specify the number of guests invited is to include a line such as "We've reserved __ seats in your honour" on the save-the-date card, denoting the number of invited guests with a number in the blank space. For example, if only the parents are invited, you can write "We've reserved 2 seats in your honour".

If there are children in the family who are invited to the wedding, such as nieces and nephews, you can address the save-the-date card to the entire family by including all the family members' names. For example, "Mr. Rob Marquis, Mrs. Erin Marquis, Mr. John Marquis, and Miss Rosa Marquis". Alternatively, you can use first names only, such as "Rob, Erin, John, and Rosa Marquis".

It is generally advised not to include specific information about who is not invited on the save-the-date cards. Instead, this information can be communicated through other means, such as word of mouth or on the wedding website.

It is also important to give families with children ample time to plan for childcare, especially if they are travelling from out of town. Therefore, it is recommended to send save-the-date cards at least four to six months in advance, or even earlier for destination weddings.

When to send save-the-date cards

Save-the-date cards are an essential part of wedding planning, giving your guests a heads-up about your big day and ensuring they can make all the necessary arrangements to be there. Here's a timeline to guide you on when to send them out:

For local weddings:

• 6-12 months before: Order your save-the-date cards or customise digital save-the-dates. If your wedding is on a busy holiday weekend, send them out as early as possible within this timeframe.
• 4-6 months before: Send out your save-the-dates. This gives your guests enough time to book travel and accommodation and request time off work.
• 2-3 months before: Send out your wedding invitations. Aim for eight weeks before the wedding, but not more than six weeks in advance.

For destination weddings:

• 1-2 years before: Order your save-the-date cards or customise digital designs.
• 8-12 months before: Send out your save-the-dates. If your wedding is in another country, send them about a year in advance to allow for passport and travel arrangements.
• 6-8 months before: Send out your wedding invitations.

It's important to note that sending save-the-dates too early may cause your guests to forget, and sending them too late may not give them enough time to plan. So, try to stick to the above timelines as much as possible.

What to include on save-the-date cards

Save-the-date cards are an exciting part of wedding planning and a fun way to get your guests involved in advance. Here is what you should include on your save-the-date cards:

Names of the Happy Couple

It is important to include the names of the couple getting married. This may seem obvious, but more distant relatives and friends may not know your partner's name or full name. This information will be crucial when it comes to filling out a wedding card, purchasing a gift, or updating an address book. You can go for a casual feel by using only first names, but if you opt for a design without a photo of the two of you, it is best to include your full names to avoid any confusion.

Date of the Wedding

The date of the wedding is a must-have on your save-the-date cards! If you are throwing events over multiple days, specify the range of dates or say 'The weekend of' to help your guests plan.

Location of the Wedding

The location is another key piece of information for your guests. You do not need to have a venue booked to send out your save-the-date cards, but you should include the rough location, such as the city or region. This is especially important for guests who need to travel to the wedding, as they will need to plan their travel and accommodation.

"Invitation to Follow"

Save-the-date cards are simple, and most of the detailed information will be conveyed on the actual wedding invitations. Let your guests know that their official invitations, with details like timings and venue, will be sent out later. This will prevent confusion and reduce the number of queries from guests who may assume that the save-the-date is the invitation itself.

Optional Extras

There are a few optional extras that you can include on your save-the-date cards:

• A photo of the happy couple
• Your wedding website
• An RSVP option

Including a photo is a wonderful way to help your guests feel connected to you, and a wedding website is a great way to share additional information, such as registry details and dress code. If you are on a tight schedule with wedding planning, you may also want to offer an RSVP option on your save-the-date cards, either by directing people to your website or including a postage-paid return card.

How to communicate a no-kids policy

Communicating a no-kids policy to your wedding guests requires a thoughtful and considerate approach. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to help you navigate this potentially sensitive topic:

Be Clear and Consistent:

It is important to be explicit about your no-kids policy to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding. Address your invitations specifically to the adults who are invited, rather than using family-oriented language. For example, address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" instead of "The Smith Family." This makes it clear that their children are not included in the invitation.

Give Advance Notice:

Provide advance notice by including a note in your "save the date" cards, formal invitations, and wedding website. This gives guests with children enough time to make necessary arrangements, such as finding childcare. It also demonstrates that the policy applies to all guests, so no one feels unfairly excluded.

Choose Your Wording Carefully:

Use polite and considerate wording to convey your no-kids policy. Here are some examples:

• “We are very sorry, but our wedding will be child-free. We hope you can still join us for our special day."
• "Please join us for an evening of grown-up celebration."
• "This is an adults-only celebration."
• "Due to venue restrictions, we are unable to accommodate anyone under 18."
• "We love your little ones dearly, but the ceremony and reception are adults-only."

Address Exceptions:

If you are making exceptions for certain children, such as those in the wedding party or immediate family, be sure to communicate this clearly. You can include a note on your invitation, such as:

• "The ceremony will be adults only, but children are welcome to join the celebration at the reception."
• "Children are welcome to join the celebration, but the reception will be for adults only after 8 p.m."

Offer Alternatives:

Consider offering alternatives to help accommodate guests with children. For example, you could suggest local childcare services on your wedding website or provide on-site childcare during the event. This shows that you are considerate of your guests' needs and want to make it easier for them to attend.

Prepare for Pushback:

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still be unhappy with your no-kids policy. It is important to remain firm and respectful in your communication. If your decision is based on venue restrictions or logistical constraints, you can reiterate these reasons. Offer to help with childcare arrangements if possible, but ultimately, it is your wedding, and you are allowed to set the guest list as you see fit.

Be Understanding:

Remember that for guests with children, attending a wedding requires additional planning and considerations. Be empathetic towards their situation and maintain your composure if they express disappointment or frustration. Explain your policy in a kind and considerate manner, and let them know that you understand their perspective.

In summary, communicating a no-kids policy for your wedding requires clear, consistent, and advance notice to your guests. Choose your wording carefully, address any exceptions, and offer alternatives if possible. Be prepared for potential pushback, remain firm but respectful, and always strive to be understanding of your guests' needs and concerns.

How to address save-the-date envelopes

When addressing save-the-date envelopes, it is important to be clear about who is invited to the wedding. This is especially important if you are having an adults-only wedding and want to give guests with children enough time to plan.

The general rule is to address the envelopes to the adults of the household. For example, if you are inviting a couple with children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Anna Smith". If the couple has different last names, it is still appropriate to cite the husband's name first, but you can also list the person you are closest to first, or alphabetise the order for a same-sex couple.

If you are inviting a single guest with a plus-one, you can address the envelope to "Ms. Tania Thompson and Guest" or "Mr. Langdon Ulger and Guest".

For families with young children, listing out the children's names makes it clear that they are invited. For example, "Mr. Tony, Mrs. Ana, Katie and Peter Garcia".

It is also important to note that save-the-date envelopes do not have to be as formal as wedding invitations. Titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., Rev., etc.) are optional and can be omitted, especially for less formal weddings.

Frequently asked questions