George Boyle
Planning a wedding can be a stressful time, especially if you want to honour a deceased parent. It can be tricky to know how to include them in your wedding invite, and you may have many questions about the best way to do this. Here are some suggestions for how to incorporate a deceased parent into your wedding invitation.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Include deceased parent's name | Yes, but it is not common |
| Include surviving parent's name | Yes |
| Include step-parent's name | Yes |
| Wording | "Joe Smith, son of Sally and Jim Smith and the late John Smith" |
| "Together with their families" | |
| "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, and the late Mr. and Mrs. James Smith, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter" | |
| Honour deceased parent in other ways | Memory table, photo collection, memorial items, favourite flowers, favourite scent, favourite song, favourite drink, tribute speech, etc. |
What You'll Learn
Include the deceased parent's name in the invitation
If you've lost a parent and are getting married, you may want to find ways to keep their memory alive on your wedding day. Honouring a deceased parent in your wedding invitation is a thoughtful way to remember them. Here are some ideas for how to include them:
Formal Wording
If you're having a formal wedding, you could use a traditional invitation format and include your deceased parent's name. For example:
> Mrs Sharon Henderson
>
> and the late Mr Nathan Henderson
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their daughter
>
> Preston John Brackman
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> Dripping Springs, Texas
Informal Wording
If you prefer a less formal approach, you can still include your deceased parent's name. Here's an example:
> Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma
>
> the families and friends of
>
> at the celebration of their marriage
>
> on Saturday, July 21st, 2024, at 6:00 pm
>
> Bluxome Street Winery
>
> San Francisco, California
Including Step-parents
If you want to include a step-parent and a deceased parent, you can word it like this:
> Moira and Alistair Schiller
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her
>
> and the late Porter Blackman's daughter
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
Honoring the Deceased Parent
Including your deceased parent's name on the invitation is a touching gesture. You can also choose to honour them in other ways during your wedding. Some ideas include:
- Wearing a piece of their jewellery or a family heirloom.
- Incorporating their favourite flowers into your bouquet or floral arrangements.
- Adding a photo charm with their picture to your bouquet.
- Wearing their favourite scent.
- Setting up a memory table with their photos and sentimental items.
- Including a tribute in your wedding programme or a speech.
- Playing their favourite song during the reception.
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Honour them with a speech or toast
Honouring a deceased parent in a wedding speech or toast is a wonderful way to celebrate their memory and acknowledge their absence on your big day. Here are some ideas to tastefully incorporate them into your wedding speech or toast:
Inclusive Tribute
Offer a general tribute to your deceased parent and other family members or friends who have passed away. For example:
> "For all of our family and friends who are no longer with us, I know each one is smiling down on the couple today with joy in their hearts, knowing that these two have found each other and will share their lives together."
Specific Tribute
You could also choose to honour your deceased parent specifically, by name. For example:
> "Let's all raise a glass to Grandpa Dan. While he can't be here with us today, I know he's raising a glass of his favourite whiskey in heaven and sending his blessing to his granddaughter, who he deeply adored."
Share a Story
Storytelling is a powerful way to honour your deceased parent and make your speech more engaging. Share a fond memory or anecdote that showcases their relationship with you or your partner. For instance, if your parent and your partner bonded over a shared love of mint chocolate chip ice cream, you could say:
> "From when Cece was a little girl, she and her dad bonded over their love of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Despite my attempts to convince him otherwise, he'd scoop out a dollop, place it in a small bowl, and his smile would light up as her eyes grew wide at the sight of Dessert Time with Dad.
> Cece, I know your dad isn't here for you to continue this special tradition with, but I know what he'd want you to think every time you recall that memory throughout your new marriage: may your life with Ethan be full of sweet moments, and may you two grow to discover your own delicious memories together."
Read a Poem or Letter
Poetry is a beautiful way to express emotions and capture the essence of your loved one. You could read a classic poem, a modern poem, or even write your own. Alternatively, if you have a letter from your deceased parent, consider reading it aloud during your speech. You could also write them a letter, expressing what their love meant to you and why you wish they were here on your wedding day.
Toast with Their Favourite Drink
Propose a toast to your deceased parent and encourage your guests to join you in honouring their memory. Consider toasting with their favourite drink to make the tribute even more special.
Remember, it's essential to practice reading your speech aloud several times before the wedding. Honouring a deceased parent is an emotional gesture, and you want to ensure you're comfortable delivering the speech with confidence.
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Reserve a seat for them at the ceremony
There are several ways to reserve a seat for a deceased parent at a wedding ceremony. Here are some ideas to help you honour your loved one:
The Reserved Chair
You can opt to have an empty chair at the front of the aisle, with a small sign or name card on it. This can be a simple In Loving Memory sign or a more detailed tribute. Some couples choose to place a bouquet of flowers or a special item, like their jacket, on the chair. This idea may be too emotional for some, so consider your own comfort and that of your family before deciding.
The Filled Chair
Another option is to have someone from the deceased's family sit in the reserved seat. This could be a touching way to include a family member who may be feeling the loss keenly.
The Filled-But-Not-Really Chair
A twist on the above idea is to place a vase of flowers, perhaps their favourite blooms, or a framed photo on the chair. Some couples have even placed a small decanter containing the ashes of their loved one on the chair.
The Memorial Table
If you'd rather not have a single chair, you could set up a memorial table with photos, flowers, candles, and mementos of your loved one. This can be placed near the guest book and gift table, allowing guests to pay their respects without being too close to the main festivities.
The Filled Front Row
If you have lost more than one family member, you could reserve the entire front row for them. This can be done with name cards or signs, or with flowers and photos on each chair.
Remember, there is no one "right" way to honour a deceased parent at your wedding. Choose an idea that feels right for you and your family, and don't be afraid to adapt it to make it more personal.
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Incorporate their favourite flowers
There are many ways to incorporate a deceased parent's favourite flowers into your wedding invites. Here are some ideas:
The Bouquet
You could add a small bouquet of their favourite flowers to your wedding attire. This could be a subtle way to include them in your special day, and you could even attach a photo or small memento to the bouquet as well.
Floral Buttonhole
A special floral buttonhole with a stem of their favourite flower could be a lovely way to honour them. This could be worn by the couple, or other wedding party members, with a note in the program explaining the significance.
Aisle Markers
If you are having an aisle at your wedding, you could use their favourite flowers as aisle markers. This would be a beautiful way to line the path to your ceremony and include your lost loved one.
Bouquets on Chairs
Honour your late parent with a front-row seat by reserving a place at your ceremony and placing a bouquet of their favourite flowers on the chair. You could also use one of their jackets to make it more personal.
Floral Display
You could create a floral display at your reception, with their favourite flowers taking centre stage. This could be a wonderful way to remember them and create a beautiful atmosphere at your wedding.
Order of Service
You could include a note about the flowers and their significance in your order of service. This would help your guests understand the meaning behind the flowers and allow them to share in remembering your parent.
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Play their favourite song
Music is a powerful way to evoke emotions and memories, so playing your deceased parent's favourite song at your wedding is a beautiful way to honour them. Here are some ideas on how to incorporate this touching tribute into your special day:
Choose the Right Moment
Playing the song at a key moment during your wedding can make it even more meaningful. For example, you could play it during the ceremony as you walk down the aisle or exchange vows. Alternatively, play it at the reception during your first dance or a parent-child dance. If you want the song to be a more subtle tribute, play it during the cocktail hour or as background music during the reception.
Make an Announcement
Before the song is played, you could ask the DJ or band leader to make an announcement dedicating the song to your parent. This way, your guests will understand the significance of the song and share the moment with you. You could also invite your guests to join you on the dance floor to honour your parent's memory.
Include Other Tributes
Combining the song with other tributes can make the moment even more special. For example, you could display photos or a memorial table dedicated to your parent near the dance floor. Alternatively, light a candle in their memory before the song starts, or ask a close friend or family member to say a few words about your parent before the song is played.
Create a Playlist
If you want to play the song at a time when there will be other music, such as during the reception or cocktail hour, consider creating a playlist that leads up to it. Start with more upbeat songs to get your guests in the mood for dancing, then play the tribute song, and follow it with more lively music again. This way, you can ensure that the song stands out and is given the attention it deserves.
Choose the Right Song
Finally, take your time in choosing the right song. It should be a song that your parent loved and that holds special meaning for them and, ideally, for you too. If your parent had a favourite artist or genre, consider choosing a song from that artist or genre. If possible, reach out to family members or close friends of your parent to get their input on the song selection.
Incorporating a deceased parent into your wedding invite can be challenging, but playing their favourite song is a beautiful way to honour their memory and include them in your special day.
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Frequently asked questions
It is generally not considered proper to include a deceased person on a wedding invite, as the invite is issued by the hosts of the party. However, you can honour your deceased parent on your wedding day in other ways.
There are many ways to honour a deceased parent on your wedding day. You can wear something that belonged to them, such as a pocket square or a piece of jewellery. You can also incorporate their favourite flowers into your bouquet or floral buttonhole. Another idea is to include a photo of them in your bouquet or in a small frame attached to your outfit.
Yes, you can play their favourite song at some point during the day, or ask someone to say a few words about them during a speech. You could also light a candle in their memory or reserve a seat for them at the ceremony, decorated with a photo and a bouquet.
If you want to keep the tribute more low-key, you could have a photo of them in a small frame or in your pocket, or wear a piece of clothing with some fabric from their favourite item sewn into it. You could also wear their favourite scent, which will be a private reminder of them throughout the day.
If you want to include your deceased parent on the invite, you can word it something like: " [Deceased parent's name] and [living parent's name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their [daughter/son]."
