George Boyle
Deciding who to include in your bridal party can be a difficult task, especially when it comes to close friends. While it's important to keep your bridal party to a manageable size, you may still want to find ways to include your besties in your wedding. Here are some suggestions on how to do just that, while still keeping the peace and ensuring everyone feels valued.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Traditional Roles | Ushers, readers, participants in the ceremony, special readers or speakers |
| Alternative Roles | Personal attendants, wedding coordinators, guest book attendants, greeters, music coordinators |
| Thoughtful Gestures | Include them in pre-wedding events, assign them important tasks on the wedding day, invite them to the rehearsal dinner, give them meaningful responsibilities during the ceremony or reception |
| Creative Ways to Honour Friends | Acknowledge them in the wedding program or mention them in a speech, present them with a gift, include them in wedding photos, make a toast during the reception |
What You'll Learn
Invite them to pre-wedding events
Pre-wedding events are a great way to involve your besties in your wedding celebrations, even if they aren't part of the bridal party. Here are some ideas for pre-wedding events you can invite them to:
Engagement Party
An engagement party is a great way to celebrate your exciting news with your loved ones. It can range from a formal to a casual event and is usually hosted by the bride's parents or close family and friends. While it's a good opportunity for the two families to get to know each other, it's recommended that they meet before the party. This event usually takes place within the first three months of your engagement. It's a chance for your nearest and dearest to shower you with gifts and celebrate the upcoming nuptials.
Bridal Shower
A bridal shower is a daytime event where female friends and family members gather to celebrate the bride-to-be with gifts, food and games. However, co-ed parties are becoming increasingly popular, with couples choosing to celebrate together. The bridal shower is usually hosted by the bridesmaids or mother of the bride, and it takes place a few weeks to three months before the wedding. It's a lovely, intimate way to celebrate with your closest friends and family.
Bachelorette Party
The bachelorette party is a chance for the bride to let loose and celebrate with her closest friends. It can be a night out or a relaxing spa day, depending on the bride's preferences. The maid of honour or bridesmaids usually host this event, and it takes place about a month or two before the wedding. Inviting your besties to be part of this celebration is a wonderful way to include them in your special day.
Bridesmaid Luncheon
The bridesmaid luncheon is a more intimate gathering for members of the bridal party, mothers, and flower girls. It's usually hosted by the bride a few days before the wedding and is a chance to thank her bridesmaids and present them with gifts. It's also an opportunity to relax and enjoy some pampering before the wedding day.
Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding and is a more laid-back event compared to the actual wedding. It's often hosted by the groom's family, but it can also be hosted by the couple or both families. The couple may present gifts to their family and bridal party during this event. The guest list typically includes immediate family, the bridal party, and any participants in the ceremony, but it can be expanded to include close friends and out-of-town guests.
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Assign them important tasks on the day
There are several important tasks that can be assigned to your besties on your wedding day, even if they aren't bridesmaids. Here are some ideas to make them feel valued and included:
Readings and Speeches
Ask your friends to do a reading during the ceremony or give a speech during the reception. Non-religious readings, such as poems or tear-jerker texts, can be a great way to involve them. If you want to go the extra mile, you can also ask them to share a meaningful message or a heartfelt speech about your friendship. This will not only make them feel honoured but also add a personal touch to your celebration.
Greeters and Ushers
Your friends can play a crucial role in welcoming and guiding guests, acting as greeters or ushers. This task can be especially meaningful if they have good people skills and enjoy interacting with others. It will also ensure that your guests feel welcomed and taken care of from the moment they arrive.
Wedding Coordinators
If your friends have great organisational skills, put them in charge of coordinating certain aspects of the wedding. They can act as personal attendants, wedding planners, or guest book attendants. They can also be in charge of curating the perfect wedding playlist, ensuring that the dance floor is always lively and that your guests have a memorable time.
Pre-Wedding Tasks
In the days leading up to the wedding, your friends can be involved in various tasks. They can help with wedding shopping, offer opinions, and lend a supportive ear during any wedding planning woes. They can also be part of the bridal shower, bachelorette party, or rehearsal dinner, creating special memories with you before the big day.
Day-Of Support
On the wedding day itself, your friends can provide practical and emotional support. They can help you get ready, ensure you eat and stay hydrated, and even assist with your dress, shoes, and jewellery. They can also be in charge of gathering family members for photos, coordinating with suppliers, and ensuring the day runs smoothly.
Remember, even if your friends aren't part of the bridal party, there are numerous ways to include them and make them feel valued on your special day.
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Include them in wedding photos
Including your best friends in your wedding photos is a great way to honour your friendship and make them feel valued on your special day. Here are some ideas on how to do this:
Getting Ready Photos
Even if your friends aren't official bridesmaids, you can still invite them to get ready with you before the wedding. These moments can make for some beautiful, candid photos as you and your friends enjoy mimosas and get glammed up for the ceremony. You could even treat them to hair and makeup services, just like your bridesmaids.
Individual and Group Photos
Make sure to set aside time during the wedding celebration to take individual and group photos with your best friends. These photos will be special mementos of the day and will help your friends feel included and appreciated.
Photo Shoots Before or After the Wedding
If you want to go the extra mile, you can organise a separate photo shoot with your besties before or after the wedding. This could be a fun way to create lasting memories and ensure that your friends feel like an important part of your celebration.
Dress Shopping
If you're comfortable with the idea, invite your best friends to come dress shopping with you. They can offer advice and opinions on your wedding gown, and it will be a special experience for them to be involved in.
Colour-Coordinated Attire
If you're not having a bridal party, you could suggest that your best friends wear attire in the same colour palette as your wedding decor. This way, they will feel included and special, knowing that their outfits complement the carefully selected style of your celebration.
In conclusion, including your best friends in your wedding photos can be as simple as asking them to join you for some getting-ready photos or setting aside time during the reception for group shots. You can also involve them in other aspects of the wedding, like dress shopping or suggesting colour-coordinated attire, to make them feel like an integral part of your special day.
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Give them a speech or reading
If you want to include your best friends in your wedding but aren't having bridesmaids, one way to do so is by giving them a speech or reading. This can be a meaningful way to honour your friends and make them feel valued and cherished. Here are some ideas and tips to consider:
Types of Speeches or Readings
There are a few different types of speeches or readings that your friends could give. They could share a meaningful message with the couple and guests, offer a toast, or give a more structured speech that includes an introduction, anecdotes, and well-wishes for the couple. If your friends are comfortable with public speaking, they could even add some jokes or funny stories to their speech.
Choosing the Right Person
If you have multiple friends who you want to include, you can either ask them all to give a speech or reading, or choose the friend who knows you the best and is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. It's important to consider your friends' comfort levels and not pressure them to speak if they're not comfortable.
Timing and Length
The length of the speech or reading will depend on the number of other speeches and the timeline of the reception. Aim for a minimum of four minutes and a maximum of six minutes. As for timing, the maid of honour typically speaks after the newlyweds' parents and before the best man. However, this order can vary depending on the couple's preferences and the size of the wedding party.
Content of the Speech or Reading
When it comes to the content of the speech or reading, your friend should reflect on their relationship with you and celebrate your relationship with your partner. They can share personal anecdotes, offer advice, or include a thoughtful quote. It's important to avoid taboo topics and negative comments. Your friend should also mention your partner in their speech, as the day is about both of you.
Practising and Preparation
To help your friend feel prepared and confident, encourage them to start writing their speech or reading at least two months before the wedding. They can also practise in front of an audience and get feedback. On the day, remind them to smile, speak slowly and clearly, and enjoy the moment!
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Get them involved in the planning
If you want to include your best friends in your wedding planning but aren't having bridesmaids, there are several ways to get them involved behind the scenes. Here are some ideas to make them feel valued and included:
Involve Them in Pre-Wedding Events
Your friends can play a significant role in the lead-up to your big day. Invite them to your bridal shower, bachelorette party, or any other special events you have planned. They can also be your sounding board for wedding planning, offering opinions and advice. This way, they will feel involved and valued, and you will create lasting memories together.
Include Them in Wedding Preparations
On the morning of your wedding, invite your best friends to get ready with you. This could be a fun and intimate way to start the day, with mimosas and helping each other with hair and makeup. You could also involve them in other wedding preparations, such as wedding shopping or DIY projects. They might even offer to take on specific tasks, like making your cake or cookies, doing your hair and makeup, or planning your bachelorette party.
Ask for Their Help with Planning
If your friends are keen to be involved, you can include them in the wedding planning process. Set up a joint Pinterest board to share ideas and inspiration. They can also help with planning certain aspects, like music or decorations, or even offer to officiate the ceremony. This will not only make them feel included but also take some of the burden off your shoulders.
Assign Them Important Tasks on the Day
Your friends can take on various tasks on your wedding day to ensure everything runs smoothly. They could manage the gift table, coordinate transportation, or act as ushers or greeters. You could also ask them to be honour attendants, dressed similarly to the wedding party but without the official duties. This way, they will feel like an integral part of your celebration.
Include Them in Wedding Photos
Make sure to capture memories with your best friends by including them in your wedding photos. You could also arrange a separate photoshoot with them, creating lasting mementos of your special day and their role in it.
Involving your best friends in wedding planning, even if they aren't bridesmaids, is a wonderful way to strengthen your bond and create meaningful experiences together. Choose the suggestions that resonate with you, and don't be afraid to get creative to ensure your friends feel the love and appreciation they deserve.
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Frequently asked questions
There are many ways to include your best friends in your wedding without making them bridesmaids. You can invite them to take part in other parts of the planning process, like dress shopping, or invite them to pre-wedding functions, such as your bridal shower and bachelorette party. You can also ask them to give a speech at your rehearsal dinner or be by your side while you're getting ready.
You can ask your besties to do a reading during the ceremony, or be in charge of your hair and makeup. You can also give them a corsage, pinned flower, or flower crown to hold, or seat them at the wedding party table at the reception.
Telling a friend that she isn't going to be a bridesmaid can be difficult and may lead to emotional turmoil for both of you. It's important to be gentle and reassuring, and let her know how important she is to you and what a valuable position she holds in your life. You can also involve her in other ways, as mentioned above.
It's important to be honest and upfront with your friend, especially if she is hinting or asking for details about your wedding plans. Let her know gently that she isn't going to be a part of your wedding party, and ask her if she would like to do something else during your ceremony, such as a reading or playing an instrument.
Inviting your besties to your wedding is a huge honour in itself, and they may just be happy to be guests. However, if you want to include them in some way, you can extend an invitation to your wedding and invite them to a private celebration, such as a bridal luncheon, before the wedding.
