Bridesmaids' Ang Bao Etiquette: To Give Or Not?

In Chinese wedding customs, it is common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to receive a red packet or ang bao from the couple as a token of appreciation for their help with the wedding. The amount of money in the ang bao varies depending on factors such as the time spent helping and money spent on wedding-related expenses. It is not uncommon for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, hair, and makeup, and they may choose to deduct these costs from the ang bao they give to the couple. Ultimately, the ang bao is a way to express gratitude and is given with sincerity and joy, rather than as a payment for the wedding dinner or venue.

Bridesmaids can keep the ang bao from the gatecrash

Ang bao, also known as red packets, are a Chinese tradition where married people give a red packet with money inside to unmarried people, usually children, to wish them luck and share their wealth and blessings. The colour red in Chinese culture symbolises good luck and happiness.

In the context of weddings, ang bao are given by guests to the newlyweds as a gift of blessing and to congratulate them. The amount given usually reflects the guest's relationship with the couple, with closer friends and family giving more.

During a traditional Chinese gatecrash, the groom and his brothers will have to go through a series of challenges set by the bridesmaids to "fetch" the bride. The groom is expected to bring a stack of ang bao in various denominations to offer to the bridesmaids, who will traditionally keep the money.

As a bridesmaid, you can keep the ang bao from the gatecrash games. It is customary for the groom to bring a stack of red packets with money inside in various denominations, and the bridesmaids will ask for increasingly larger sums of money as the games go on. The total amount given by the groom during the gatecrash can range from $288 to $1,088, but it is important to only give and accept an amount that you are comfortable with.

While there is no obligation to do so, some bridesmaids may choose to bao back the money from the gatecrash into the wedding ang bao they give to the couple. Ultimately, the decision of how much to give or whether to give at all is a personal one and should be based on your financial situation and relationship with the couple.

Bridesmaids may receive an ang bao from the bride after the gatecrash

In Chinese wedding customs, it is customary for the bride and groom to give red envelopes, or ang baos, to their wedding party as a token of appreciation for their time and effort. While it is not mandatory for bridesmaids to give ang baos to the newlyweds, it is considered polite to do so, especially if they are close to the couple.

The amount of money given in an ang bao is typically influenced by factors such as the venue of the wedding banquet and the closeness to the couple. In the case of bridesmaids, it is common for the bride to give them a small token ang bao after the gatecrash, which can be used to offset the costs they may have incurred in their role, such as for their outfits, transportation, or other wedding preparations.

The amount given in the ang bao can vary depending on the financial circumstances of the bridesmaids and the extent of their involvement in the wedding. It is not uncommon for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, hair, and makeup, so the ang bao from the bride can help cover some of these expenses. Ultimately, the ang bao is a way to show appreciation and gratitude to the bridesmaids for their support and contribution to the wedding.

It is worth noting that there is no fixed amount for the ang bao, and it is more important to give from the heart and within one's means. The act of giving an ang bao is a symbolic gesture of blessing and support for the newlyweds, and it is considered an important part of accepting a wedding invitation.

Bridesmaids may receive a gift from the bride after the wedding

While it is customary for bridesmaids to give the bride a gift, it is not uncommon for the bride to give her bridesmaids gifts as well. This is especially true in Chinese weddings, where the bride and groom typically give red packets (ang bao) to their wedding party as tokens of appreciation and to acknowledge their contributions to the wedding.

In a Chinese wedding, the bride and groom may give their bridesmaids and groomsmen red packets containing $20 to $100 each. These red packets are usually given on the wedding day itself, as a way of expressing gratitude for the time and effort spent in helping to make the wedding a success.

However, it is worth noting that the tradition of gift-giving between the bride and bridesmaids is not limited to Chinese weddings. In general, it is considered thoughtful for the bride to present her bridesmaids with gifts, especially if they have already incurred significant costs in their role as a member of the bridal party.

Some brides may opt to give their bridesmaids gifts before the wedding, such as paying for their dresses, hair, and makeup, or contributing to their travel and accommodation expenses for any pre-wedding events or the wedding day itself. This can help alleviate some of the financial burden on the bridesmaids, who often incur significant costs in fulfilling their duties.

Ultimately, the decision to give gifts to the bridesmaids is a personal one for the bride. However, it is always a thoughtful gesture to acknowledge and appreciate the time, effort, and expenses incurred by the bridal party in supporting the bride and celebrating her special day.

Bridesmaids can deduct the cost of their dress from the ang bao

As a bridesmaid, you may be paying for your dress, hair, and makeup. It is common to wonder if you can deduct the cost of your dress from the ang bao you give to the couple. While there is no definitive answer, here are some considerations to help you make a decision:

Firstly, it is essential to understand that an ang bao is a symbolic gesture of blessing and good luck in many Asian cultures, including Chinese, Singaporean, and Malaysian. It reflects the values of reciprocity, generosity, and respect. The amount given in an ang bao varies depending on factors such as the venue, catering expenses, and the relationship with the couple. It is generally advised to give an amount that reflects your sincerity and joy, rather than focusing on "market rates" or "covering the costs."

When deciding whether to deduct the cost of your dress from the ang bao, consider the following:

• Relationship with the Couple: How close are you to the bride and groom? If you are a close friend or family member, you may want to give a higher amount to express your happiness for them. On the other hand, if you are only an acquaintance, covering the basic costs for your participation may be sufficient.
• Financial Capability: Ang bao giving should be done with sincerity and within your means. If the cost of your dress is significant, it is reasonable to deduct it from the ang bao amount. You can give what you are comfortable with and what you can afford.
• Expectations and Appreciation: Discuss your expectations with the bride. If she is expecting you to pay for your dress, it is reasonable to deduct the cost from the ang bao. However, if she has offered to cover the cost or given you a separate ang bao as a token of appreciation, you may not need to deduct it.
• Overall Contribution: Consider your overall contribution to the wedding. If you have spent a significant amount of time and money on other aspects of the wedding, such as transportation, alterations, or accommodations, it may be appropriate to deduct those costs from the ang bao as well.
• Cultural Norms: In some cultures, certain numbers are considered auspicious or inauspicious for ang bao amounts. For example, amounts ending with "8" are considered lucky in Chinese weddings, while "4" should be avoided as it sounds similar to the word for "death."

Ultimately, the decision to deduct the cost of your dress from the ang bao depends on your personal circumstances and relationship with the couple. Discuss your concerns openly with the bride, as honest communication can help set clear expectations and ensure everyone is appreciated for their contributions to the wedding. Remember, the most important aspect of ang bao giving is the sincerity of your blessings and well wishes for the newlyweds.

Bridesmaids can give an ang bao to the bride based on their financial capabilities

In Chinese, Singaporean, and Malaysian cultures, it is customary for guests to give a monetary gift, or ang bao, to the newlyweds as a symbol of good luck and blessings for their marriage. While there are no hard and fast rules about how much to give, the amount often reflects the guest's relationship with the couple and their financial capabilities.

Bridesmaids are typically expected to spend money on wedding-related expenses such as their outfits, hair, and makeup. They may also incur additional costs such as transportation, accommodation, and alterations. As such, it is common for brides to give ang baos to their bridesmaids as a token of appreciation for their time and expenses.

When deciding whether and how much to give an ang bao to the bride, bridesmaids should consider the following:

• The time and money spent on helping the bride with wedding preparations.
• Any special duties performed, such as emceeing or fetching guests.
• Their financial capabilities.

Ultimately, the decision to give an ang bao and the amount given should be based on what the bridesmaid is comfortable with and can afford. The bride will understand and appreciate the gesture, regardless of the amount.

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