Bridesmaids are a staple of the traditional wedding, but they're not for everyone. Many brides are ditching the bridal party altogether, especially for informal weddings. For those who want to include their friends in their special day, but don't want to deal with the drama of a bridal party, there are plenty of alternative options. From bending the rules to include all your friends as bridesmaids, to coming up with unique jobs for them, to forgoing bridesmaids altogether, there are many ways to involve your friends in your wedding without making it a formal affair.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Number of bridesmaids | There is no right or wrong number of bridesmaids. You can have as many or as few as you want. |
Dress code | Informal bridesmaid dresses are often more relaxed and can be worn again. They can have different hemlines and patterns. |
Dress fabric | For warm weather, choose lightweight materials such as chiffon. For cold weather, opt for heavier fabrics like heavy satin. |
Dress length | Tea-length or short dresses are suitable for outdoor or informal weddings, while longer dresses may be more appropriate for formal affairs. |
Dress design | Boho, floral, summer/outdoor, backyard, two-piece, rustic, or country styles can all work for informal weddings. |
Dress choice | You can let the bridesmaids pick their own dresses within certain guidelines, such as sleeve type or colour family. |
Accessories | Similar hairstyles, makeup, jewellery, and bouquets can unite the bridal party, even if dresses are informal or mismatched. |
Groomsmen attire | Groomsmen can wear matching jackets and dress slacks or something more casual like khaki shorts and polo shirts, depending on the wedding theme. |
Roles and responsibilities | Informal bridesmaids may have fewer responsibilities and more flexibility than traditional bridesmaids. |
Titles | Instead of "bridesmaid," consider alternative titles like "Bridal Brigade" or "non-bridesmaid." |
What You'll Learn
Mismatched bridesmaids
Vision and Planning
Start by creating a digital vision board that can be shared with your bridesmaids. Include dress examples and inspiration photos to convey the overall vibe and style you envision. This will help guide your bridesmaids' choices and ensure they complement each other.
Choose a Unifying Element
Even with a mismatched theme, it's essential to have at least one consistent element across all the bridesmaids' outfits. This could be the same colour, fabric, or design detail. For example, you may opt for different styles in the same colour or vice versa. Alternatively, you can give your bridesmaids the freedom to choose their own styles while requesting they incorporate a specific colour or design element, such as a floral pattern.
Play with Colours and Styles
If you're feeling adventurous, you can mix and match different colours, styles, and silhouettes. Stick to a specific colour family and experiment with various shades, or refer to your wedding palette for inspiration. Just remember to keep a balanced mix of lengths and silhouettes to avoid an awkward look in your bridal party photos.
Accessories
Accessories can help tie the whole look together. Consider adding a statement piece like a rhinestone belt or hairpiece that each bridesmaid can wear. You can also incorporate their chosen accessory into their bouquet for stunning photos.
Fabric Swatches
Remember that colours and textures can appear different online than in person. Request fabric swatches to see how various colours, patterns, and textures look next to each other. This will help you and your bridesmaids make more informed decisions.
Shop from the Same Retailer
Working with a single retailer that specialises in bridesmaid ensembles can simplify the process. These retailers often offer various styles in the same fabric or different shades of popular wedding colours, making it easier to achieve a cohesive look.
Convertible Dresses
Convertible gowns are an excellent option for a mismatched bridal party as they can be worn in multiple ways. Each bridesmaid can style their dress according to their preference, and they can even switch up their look between the ceremony and reception.
Communication is Key
Throughout the process, communicate with your bridesmaids and consider their opinions and comfort levels. They will appreciate having their voices heard, and it will help ensure they feel confident and happy on your big day.
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No bridesmaids
There are many reasons why couples may choose to forgo bridesmaids and groomsmen for their wedding. From wanting to avoid leaving loved ones out, to simply preferring a more casual vibe, or even to streamline the day and make things simpler. Whatever the reason, it is becoming increasingly common for couples to opt for no bridal party, and there are plenty of ways to still involve your closest friends and family members.
Firstly, you can delegate traditional duties to other people. For example, you could ask your sister or mother to hold your bouquet during the vows, and give the rings to the officiant to hold. You can also include your nearest and dearest in the ceremony itself. For instance, they could perform a reading or poem, help with a unity candle, or act as witnesses. You could even ask a special friend or family member to officiate the ceremony.
Secondly, you can still get ready with your friends and family. Invite them to join you as you get your hair and makeup done, and offer to pay for them to have their hair and makeup done too so you can all be pampered together. You can also invite them to come dress shopping with you, and to a special dinner or day out before the wedding, such as a spa day or brunch.
Thirdly, make sure to get some special photos with your friends and family. Although you won't have the classic portraits of bridesmaids and groomsmen, you can still arrange to have some set photographs taken beyond family groupings. Send your friends a copy of the picture after the wedding with a personal note.
Finally, you can still have a bachelorette or bachelor party. Nowadays, these often include friends who are not part of the wedding party, and you can either plan the celebration yourself or ask a close friend or family member to do so.
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Choosing bridesmaids' dresses
Fabric and Seasonality
The fabric of the dresses is an important factor, especially when considering the season and location of the wedding. For an outdoor summer wedding, opt for lightweight and airy fabrics such as chiffon. On the other hand, a winter wedding in a colder region might call for heavier fabrics like satin. The fabric choice will also impact the comfort of your bridesmaids, so it's worth asking for their input.
Length and Design
Informal bridesmaid dresses offer more flexibility in terms of length. A tea-length or short dress can be perfect for a garden or outdoor wedding, while a longer hemline may be more appropriate for a Christmas-themed or formal wedding. Asymmetrical, handkerchief, and diagonal hemlines are all popular choices for informal weddings. You can also consider adding patterns to the fabric, keeping them simple and limited to a few colours to avoid overwhelming the overall look.
Sleeve Length and Style
Casual weddings provide the opportunity to play with sleeve lengths. Cap sleeves, long flowing sleeves, illusion styles, or even strapless and spaghetti strap dresses can all work, depending on the season and the level of formality you desire. If you're having a rustic or country-themed wedding, consider knee-length dresses paired with western-style boots for a unique twist.
Overall Dress Style
Boho-style dresses are perfect for an informal, outdoor wedding with their loose-fitting, flowy styles. Spaghetti straps, off-the-shoulder looks, and ruffles or lace details can add to the relaxed vibe. Floral bridesmaid dresses are another refreshing option, especially for beach, backyard, or afternoon ceremonies. Wrap styles are universally flattering and create a feminine silhouette.
Two-Piece Options
For a contemporary twist, consider two-piece bridesmaid dresses. You can play with colours and pair a lighter top with a darker skirt or opt for complementary colours. Two-toned designs or a simple top with a metallic skirt are also fun choices.
Letting Bridesmaids Choose
If you want to take a more hands-off approach, you can let your bridesmaids pick their own dresses within certain guidelines. This ensures that they feel comfortable and can choose something that flatters their body type. You can provide parameters such as sleeve type (strapless, spaghetti straps, etc.), colour family, or specific design elements you want to incorporate.
Remember, informal bridesmaid dresses can be dressed up with accessories like sashes, boleros, jewellery, and bouquets. So, have fun with it and choose something that reflects the relaxed and joyful spirit of your wedding day!
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Duties of informal bridesmaids
While there are no set guidelines for the role of a bridesmaid, here is a list of duties that an informal bridesmaid may be expected to perform:
Pre-Wedding
- Offer emotional support to the bride throughout the planning process.
- Help the bride choose her attire and pick out flowers.
- Communicate honestly about your responsibilities and expectations.
- Assist with planning and paying for pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
- Provide input on bridesmaids' attire, hair, and makeup, while adhering to the bride's vision.
- Be positive, kind, and proactive in your interactions with the bridal party.
- Give a gift to the couple, such as an item from the registry or a spa day.
During the Wedding
- Attend the rehearsal dinner and give a toast if requested.
- Cooperate with the wedding planner and be mindful of their schedule and directions.
- Stay positive and flexible throughout the wedding day, helping the bride remain calm and relaxed.
- Greet guests before the ceremony and guide them to their seats.
- Assist the bride with her dress, veil, and train, ensuring she looks picture-perfect.
- Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony if needed.
- Be available for wedding photos and stick around for group portraits.
- Give a speech at the reception if requested by the couple.
- Engage with other guests and encourage a fun and positive atmosphere.
Post-Wedding
- Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch.
- Help organize and return miscellaneous or leftover wedding items.
- Settle any outstanding payments or bills that were split among the bridal party.
Remember, the most important aspect of being an informal bridesmaid is to be a good friend to the bride and provide support throughout the entire process.
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Alternatives to bridesmaids
There are many alternatives to bridesmaids for those who want to have an informal wedding. Here are some ideas:
No official bridal party
Small, intimate weddings are becoming more popular, and many couples are choosing to forego a bridal party altogether. This doesn't mean you can't enlist friends or family members to help with tasks or be there while you're getting ready.
A mixed-gender bridal party
The mixed-gender wedding party has become increasingly popular, introducing new terms like "best woman", "groomsmaid", "groomswoman", "bridesman", and "man of honour".
Just a maid of honour
Celebrity culture has, in the past, led to the popularity of huge bridal parties. However, many brides are now opting to have just one person by their side as they stand at the altar, reducing a lot of the stress that can come with managing a larger group.
A children-only bridal party
There are no age restrictions when it comes to your bridal party. You could have your own children or a team of nieces and nephews as your bridal party—and the pictures will be adorable!
A bridal brigade
This term was coined by a couple who had a team of women who helped them put together their wedding. The couple's friends helped with cupcakes, took polaroids, did readings, held flowers, and made sure everything went according to plan.
A non-bridesmaid
A non-bridesmaid can be involved in all sorts of ways—from wedding dress shopping to throwing a shower, helping with invitations, and being there on the day to get ready with the bride.
Hire a professional bridesmaid/groomsman
This trend has been growing in popularity since 2014. It's like having a personal assistant and hype person throughout the day, and they can even pretend to be a guest if you want it to be a secret.
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Frequently asked questions
You can ask your friends to be your bridesmaids in a number of ways. You could ask them in person, over the phone, or via email. If you're struggling to choose between friends, you could give them all different "jobs" or "titles", as suggested by a reader of Glamour magazine.
The dresses your bridesmaids wear will depend on the season, location, and theme of your wedding. For example, a wedding in July might call for light and airy chiffon, whereas a wedding in February might require heavier fabrics like satin. You could also let your bridesmaids pick out their own dresses, as long as they follow certain guidelines, such as sleeve type or colour palette.
The role of an informal bridesmaid is more flexible than that of a traditional bridesmaid. They might help with setting up, taking polaroids, doing readings, holding flowers, or ensuring everything goes according to plan. They may also be involved in pre-wedding events like bridal showers and bachelorette parties.