Explaining Your Choice To Forego Bridesmaids

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and deciding whether or not to have bridesmaids is a big decision. While it's becoming more common for brides to skip the bridal party, it's still a personal choice that each couple needs to make for themselves. There are several pros and cons to consider when deciding whether or not to have bridesmaids, and it's important to weigh these carefully before making a decision. Ultimately, the choice to have or not have bridesmaids depends on the couple's preferences and the type of celebration they envision.

It's expensive to have bridesmaids

The cost of having bridesmaids can quickly add up, with the average cost of being a bridesmaid ranging from $1,100 to $1,800 per wedding, and that's just an average! The cost can be even higher for destination weddings or if you're a bridesmaid in multiple weddings. So, if you're the bride, and you're trying to keep costs down, it might be a good idea to skip the bridesmaids.

The cost of being a bridesmaid includes not just the dress, but also travel, hair, makeup, shoes, accessories, pre-wedding parties, and a wedding gift. All of these expenses can add up, especially if there are multiple pre-wedding events or if the wedding is in a different city or country. As a bride, you may want to help cover some of these costs for your bridesmaids, but that can also add up quickly.

The cost of a bridesmaid dress alone can be quite high, with the average dress costing around $130-$150, and that's before any alterations, which can cost an additional $30-$100. And that's just the beginning! Bridesmaids often need to purchase new shoes and accessories to match the dress, and may also be expected to have their hair and makeup done professionally, which can cost around $72 for hair and $60 for makeup.

Pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, can also be expensive for bridesmaids. These events often involve purchasing gifts, decorations, food, and drinks, and if the event is in a different city or country, travel and accommodation costs as well. And that's all before the actual wedding!

On the day of the wedding, bridesmaids may need to pay for their travel and accommodation, as well as a wedding gift for the couple. All of these costs can add up, especially if the bridesmaid is already spending a lot on the dress and other pre-wedding events.

So, if you're trying to keep costs down, it might be a good idea to skip the bridesmaids. It's definitely an expense that can be avoided, and your friends will probably understand if you explain that you're trying to keep costs down.

It's stressful to choose bridesmaids

Choosing bridesmaids can be stressful, especially if you have a large group of close friends. You may worry about hurting the feelings of those you don't choose, and this can be a difficult decision to make.

Firstly, remember that it is your wedding, and you should choose the people who will support you and make you feel comfortable. It is not about ranking your friends, and it is okay if you don't want to have bridesmaids at all. If you do want to have bridesmaids, but are worried about choosing between friends, consider the following advice:

• Opt for a smaller group of bridesmaids. This can make the decision-making process easier, and it also reduces costs and logistical effort.
• Be mindful of your budget. Having bridesmaids can be expensive, so consider whether you can afford gifts, bouquets, and other related costs for a large number of people.
• Keep it simple. Having no bridesmaids means you don't have to worry about matching outfits or bridesmaid proposals.
• Choose people who will be there to help. A good bridesmaid should be there to support you and make the process easier, not add to your stress.
• Be honest and realistic. Explain to your friends that you want to keep things small and that you still value their friendship and support.
• Give other roles to those who aren't bridesmaids. You can still involve your friends in other ways, such as readers or personal attendants, so they feel included.

Remember, the most important thing is to surround yourself with people who will support and celebrate with you on your special day.

You can still involve friends without having bridesmaids

There are many reasons why people are choosing to opt out of having a bridal party. Some don't like the exclusivity of it, while others don't feel like the cost is necessary. If you're worried about how to explain your decision to your friends, here are some ways to involve them in your wedding without giving them the title of bridesmaid.

Firstly, you can still get ready together! Brides often look forward to getting ready for their wedding with their closest friends, so not having a bridal party doesn't have to get in the way of this special moment. You could even spring for hair and makeup, just like you would for bridesmaids. You can also invite your friends to come wedding dress shopping with you. They can give you advice on which wedding dress silhouette and style makes you look like the bride you've always envisioned.

Secondly, you could ask your friends to wear your wedding colours. That way, they can still feel like they're part of the bridal party without all the pomp and circumstance. You could even take a special photo with all your friends together.

Thirdly, you can ask your friends to do a reading during the ceremony, or even perform a song or lead a prayer. If you don't want to have a best man or ring bearer, you could ask a close friend to hold the rings until they're needed.

You could also ask your friends to be "honoured guests". As part of this, you could ask them to walk down the aisle as part of the procession, or give them a special place to sit during the reception.

Finally, you can set up a private celebration with just you and your closest friends, like a bridal luncheon with a champagne toast before the ceremony. That way, they know how special they are to you, without all the logistics of having them stand with you.

You can avoid potential drama

Opting to not have bridesmaids can help you avoid potential drama and stress.

Firstly, choosing not to have bridesmaids can save you from the stress of deciding who to include in your bridal party and the potential drama that comes with it. You might have too many friends, or perhaps you've lost touch with your old best friends, or maybe you have complicated relationships with your siblings or in-laws. In such cases, it is easier to just say no to bridesmaids.

Secondly, bridesmaids are expected to help with the logistics of the wedding, such as planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, and addressing invitations. They are also expected to provide practical and emotional support to the bride on the wedding day. However, this can sometimes add stress to the bride, especially if the bridesmaids are causing drama or have conflicting personalities and opinions.

Thirdly, the costs associated with being a bridesmaid can add up quickly and cause financial stress for both the bride and the bridesmaids. The bride is expected to cover certain costs, such as bridesmaid gifts, hair, and makeup, while the bridesmaids are expected to pay for their dresses, accessories, travel, and accommodations, and more. By not having bridesmaids, you can avoid the financial burden and potential drama associated with these costs.

Finally, by not having bridesmaids, you can avoid the potential drama of choosing what they will wear. Historically, bridesmaids wore similar dresses to the bride to confuse evil spirits and jealous suitors. While this tradition has evolved, choosing bridesmaid dresses that please everyone can be challenging and lead to drama.

Ultimately, the decision to have or not have bridesmaids is a personal one, and there are valid reasons for both choices. However, if you are looking to avoid potential drama and stress, opting for a bridesmaid-free wedding may be a good choice.

You can save time

Opting to not have bridesmaids can save you time in several ways. Firstly, you won't have to spend time coordinating and managing a bridal party. This includes wrangling schedules, preferences, and personalities, which can be a challenging and time-consuming task.

Secondly, you can save time by not having to plan and execute bridesmaid proposals, which are increasingly expected to be over-the-top and Instagram-ready. This also means you won't have to worry about the added stress of any associated costs, such as providing proposal boxes, flowers, and covering hair and makeup for your bridesmaids.

Thirdly, you can avoid the time and effort required to select and manage bridesmaid attire. This can be a difficult task, as you need to consider factors such as matching, colour schemes, and inclusivity, all while trying to please multiple people and stay within a budget.

Finally, not having bridesmaids can save you time by reducing the number of people you need to communicate with and manage on the day of the wedding. This means fewer people to organise and coordinate, which can streamline your wedding day schedule and reduce potential delays.

While having a bridal party can provide support and create a celebratory atmosphere, opting out can free up your time and energy, allowing you to focus more on yourself, your partner, and your closest loved ones on your wedding day.

Frequently asked questions