Managing Wedding Rsvps: A Guide To Smooth Guest List Planning

Handling RSVPs is an important part of wedding planning. It can be a stressful process, but there are ways to make it easier for both the couple and the guests. The first step is to decide on the format of the invitations and RSVPs – traditional paper, online, or a combination of both. Paper invitations are usually accompanied by RSVP cards with pre-printed templates or blank spaces for guests to fill in. Online RSVPs are often done through wedding websites or specified email addresses. The next step is to set a deadline for RSVPs, usually two to four weeks before the wedding, and communicate this clearly to the guests. It is also important to provide all the necessary information, such as the date, time, location, dress code, and any other relevant details, to ensure guests can respond promptly. Finally, guests should be mindful of the couple's instructions and respond as soon as possible to help with the planning process.

How to respond to an RSVP

RSVPs are a crucial part of event planning, and responding to them promptly and appropriately is a courteous way to acknowledge the invitation and express your intentions. Here are some tips on how to respond to an RSVP:

Respond promptly

It is considered impolite to leave your hosts waiting for your response. Try to respond as soon as possible, preferably within 24 hours. If you are unable to respond promptly, let the host know that you will get back to them as soon as possible.

Follow the specified response method

If the invitation includes an RSVP card and a pre-addressed envelope, fill it out and mail it back promptly. For electronic invitations, respond through the specified website or platform. If you receive a telephone invitation, let the host know your response immediately unless you need to check your schedule first.

Provide necessary information

When responding to an RSVP, make sure to include all the requested information, such as the number of guests attending, dietary restrictions, seating preferences, or any other special requests. This helps the host plan accordingly and ensure that everyone is comfortable and accommodated.

Express gratitude

Take the opportunity to express your gratitude for being invited. You can include a thoughtful note or a personalised message to show your appreciation. This adds a special touch to your response and makes the host feel valued.

Be considerate of the host's planning needs

Remember that your response has a significant impact on the host's planning. Your timely and accurate response helps them secure the right amount of food, plan seating arrangements, and manage other logistics. If you need to change your RSVP later, let the host know as soon as possible.

Sample responses

Accepting the invitation:

"Thank you for the invitation! I would be delighted to attend your event."

"I'm excited to join the celebration. Count me in!"

"I appreciate the invite and gladly accept. Looking forward to it!"

Declining the invitation:

"I appreciate the invitation, but I won't be able to make it this time."

"Unfortunately, I have a prior commitment and won't be able to attend. Thank you for understanding."

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I won't be able to make it. I hope to join next time!"

Remember to personalise your response and include any relevant details to help the host plan the event.

What to do if you can't attend

If you can't attend a wedding, it's important to let the couple know as soon as possible. This is so they can inform the caterer, rental company, and bartender about the change in the headcount. It's best to reach out to the couple with a phone call, as texting may seem unapologetic and impersonal. If it's the day of the wedding, get in touch with the wedding planner, maid of honour, or best man, so as not to distract the couple on their big day.

When informing the couple that you can't attend, it's good to have a meaningful excuse. Illness and poor weather are acceptable reasons for not attending, as you wouldn't want to compromise the safety and wellness of yourself or other guests. It's also important to be respectful and sincere when responding. You could say something like:

> "Thank you so much for inviting us to join you at your upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend as we will be out of the country on business that weekend. We are sad to miss this special event and will be celebrating with you from afar on the big day."

You don't need to overexplain yourself, but it's good to express your apologies and let the couple know how much the invitation meant to you. It might also be a nice gesture to send a gift or meet up with the couple after their honeymoon to celebrate.

How to decline an invitation

How to Decline a Wedding Invitation

It is important to remember that receiving a wedding invitation means that you are someone special to the couple. They have invited you to be present for the most important day of their lives. That's why showing compassion while declining the invitation is important. Here are some tips on how to decline a wedding invitation:

• Don't wait too long to decline the invitation. You don't want to seem like you aren't being thoughtful, or that you are waiting for a better offer.
• Thank the couple for inviting you. This is essential etiquette.
• Be honest about your reasons for declining. It's hard for a couple to react badly if you are upfront about things.
• Be firm. If you are declining the invitation, don't leave it open for negotiation.
• Follow up with a call or message. Even if you don't know the couple well, it's a nice way to show that you're genuinely disappointed that you can't make it.
• Send a gift. If you're not attending the wedding, a gift will be appreciated but is not expected.
• Don't be flippant about declining. Avoid making jokes, bragging about how busy you are, or appearing not to care.
• Don't leave it until the last minute. The couple will be disappointed if you put off telling them for weeks.
• Don't forget to formally RSVP. Even if you've spoken to the couple in person first, it's always polite to respond in the way indicated on the invitation.
• "Thank you for thinking of me. I regret to tell you that I won't be able to attend due to another commitment, but please accept my warmest congratulations."
• "I would love to attend, but I have prior commitments on that date."
• "Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate it and it means a great deal."
• "Regrettably I won't be able to attend the wedding due to some conflicting commitments."
• "Thank you for the invitation, but I'm not going to be able to make it."

How to fill out an RSVP card

Filling out an RSVP card is a straightforward process, but it's important to do it correctly to help the host plan for the event. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fill out an RSVP card:

• Check the Envelope: Before responding, check the envelope to see who was officially invited. If there is a "+1" on the card, then you are allowed to bring a guest. If the card is addressed to "The Thompson Family," then your immediate family is invited. If only your name and your spouse's name are listed, don't assume that your children are also invited.
• Write the Full Names of Attending Guests: Look for an "M" on the card, which stands for the first letter of your title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss). Write the full name of each attending guest after the "M." For example, "Mr. Joe Smith and Mrs. Jenny Smith." Only write the names of those attending.
• Indicate the Number of Guests Attending: Write the number of guests who will be attending in the accept or decline box. This helps the host plan for the right amount of food and seating. If only one person was invited, you can use a checkmark or an X.
• Indicate Food Choices: If there are food options listed on the RSVP card, indicate your preferences and any dietary restrictions. If there are multiple people invited, put your initials next to your food choices.
• Write a Congratulatory Note: If the card is blank, write a short note congratulating the couple and indicating who plans on attending. For example, "Joe and Charlotte Shivers kindly accept the invitation to attend Marsha and Greg's wedding on May 24th." If you can't attend, you can write something like, "Unfortunately, due to a prior engagement, Joe and Charlotte Shivers are unable to attend. We wish you both the best."
• Send the Response Card: Even if you don't plan on attending, it's important to send the RSVP card to help the host with planning. They may have a secondary list of guests to invite if there are declines.
• Mail the RSVP Promptly: Try to respond before the deadline, ideally a week or two in advance. This gives the host enough time to make the necessary arrangements.
• Write Legibly: Use print instead of cursive to ensure your handwriting is easy to read, especially if it's a large event and the host is going through many responses.
• Don't Respond by Phone or Email: If you received an official RSVP card in the mail, don't respond by phone or email. It's considered rude as the host has spent money on designing and sending the cards.

How to RSVP online

RSVPing online is a great way to streamline the process of keeping track of your wedding guest list. There are many websites that offer RSVP functions, often as part of a wedding website package. These sites can help you to gather your guests' attendance responses in real time and allow you to add custom questions for anything else you'd like to know, such as meal preferences and song requests.

When creating your wedding website and RSVP page, you can select a template to get started in minutes. You can then share all the important details and announcements with your guests. Many sites will allow you to limit the RSVP function to just invited guests, keeping unwanted guests out. You can also control who gets a plus one and set which guests can view individual events.

To make the process easier for your guests, you can group household members such as families or couples into one group. Any group member can then respond to the online RSVP for the entire party.

When it comes to letting your guests know about the online RSVP option, you can include this information on your invitation, either on the front or back. You could also include a separate enclosure or response card to point guests in the right direction. If you are including paper RSVP cards, you can still include the online RSVP details on the invitation or enclosure card. You could even create a QR code that links to your digital RSVP.

If you're concerned about some of your guests not being comfortable with an online RSVP system, you can always give your guests multiple RSVP options so they can choose whichever they prefer.

Frequently asked questions