Formal Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Your Parents

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few nuances to consider when addressing parents and families. Here's a guide to help you navigate this sometimes tricky aspect of wedding planning:

Formal Addressing:

If you're using both an outer and inner envelope, the outer envelope should include the names of the adults only. For a heterosexual couple with the same last name, use Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Last Name], or Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first.

Informal Addressing:

If you prefer a more casual approach, you can simply address the outer envelope to The [Family Last Name] Family, implying that the entire family is invited.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is where you can list the names of children. For girls under 18, you can use Miss if you wish, while boys don't need a title until they're 16, at which point they can be addressed as Mr.

No Inner Envelope:

If you're not using an inner envelope, list the children's names on the outer envelope beneath their parents' names.

Other Considerations:

When addressing parents and families, it's important to be mindful of any special circumstances, such as divorced parents or deceased parents. In these cases, it's appropriate to list each parent on a separate line. If you wish to honour a deceased parent, you can include their name alongside the couple's names.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your unique situation and the level of formality you desire for your wedding invitations.

Married Couple With Same Last Name

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different scenarios to consider when addressing the envelopes. Here are some tips and examples for addressing invitations to a married couple with the same last name:

Outer Envelope

The outer envelope should be formal. A foolproof option is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. For a married couple with the same last name, their names are usually put on the same line.

Example:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera

If you feel that personal titles might be restrictive or exclusive for your guest list, you can forgo them and simply use first and last names.

Example:

> John and Samantha Rivera

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. You can use personal titles and last names or go with first names only.

Examples:

> Mr. and Mrs. Rivera

> John and Samantha

Host Line

Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is also acceptable. If the couple and their parents are contributing, you can use a phrase like "Together with their parents" or "Together with their families".

Example:

> Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company...

Attendance Request

The attendance request lets guests know exactly what they are being invited to. There are several ways to word this, such as:

• "The pleasure of your company"
• "At the marriage of their children"
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Honor of your presence" (traditionally used to denote a religious service)

Couple's Names

The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and sometimes in a fancy typeface. For a married couple with the same last name, the individual's name you are closest to can be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order.

Example:

> Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim

Date and Time

The date and time are usually written out in full for formal invitations, while numerical figures are often used on modern invites. Be sure to spell out o'clock or half after five o'clock for formal invitations.

Example:

> Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon

Location

Write the name and full street address of the venue, including the state and zip code. If the wedding is abroad, include the country as well.

Example:

> [Venue name and address]

Reception Details

If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply state "Reception to follow". If the reception is elsewhere, you can include the full address on a separate details card tucked in with the main invitation.

Dress Code

Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. This can be mentioned in the lower corner or bottom center of the invite, or on a separate details card.

Example:

> Black-tie

Married Couple With Different Last Names

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different scenarios to consider when addressing the envelopes or writing out the invitations themselves. Here are some guidelines specifically for addressing married couples with different last names on wedding invitations:

Outer Envelope Etiquette

The outer envelope should be formal. A foolproof option is to write out the recipient's or both recipients' full names, including their personal titles. For example:

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe

Or

Mrs. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

If the woman has chosen to keep her maiden name and you are unsure of how to address her, it is best to ask her what she prefers. While some women who kept their maiden names after marriage go by Mrs., others prefer to be addressed as Ms. as it does not define them by their marital status.

Inner Envelope Etiquette

The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format of the outer envelope. For example:

John and Jane

Or

Mr. Smith and Mrs. Doe

Invitation Wording

If the parents of the couple are hosting the wedding, their names are included at the top of the invitation. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts, but including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is also acceptable and gracious. Here are some examples of invitation wording for married couples with different last names:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Jane Doe

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Bride's Name and Groom's Name

Or

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter/son

Bride's Name or Groom's Name

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line and start the invitation with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

Together with full hearts

Bride's Name and Groom's Name

Invite you to share in the celebration of their marriage

Additional Considerations

When addressing wedding invitations, it is essential to use proper titles and spell out guests' names in full, including middle names for very formal weddings. Avoid using nicknames or initials. Be sure to use appropriate social titles as well, addressing married couples as "Mr. and Mrs." unless the woman has chosen to keep her maiden name, in which case "Mr. and Ms." would be appropriate.

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of the woman's name first does not apply. You can list the names in alphabetical order by last name or based on what looks best with the invitation design.

Remember to give yourself enough time to get the address list in order and double-check any details before sending out your invitations.

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are four to six paragraphs with different approaches:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the one that will be seen by the post office and should be more formal. A traditional and formal way to address the couple is to use their full names with titles, such as:

> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft

If you prefer to be more modern and avoid titles, you can simply use their first and last names:

> Marcus Craft and Brian Crosby-Craft

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have a few options to choose from:

• You can use their titles with last names: Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft
• Use their first and last names: Marcus and Brian
• For a more intimate feel, you may use only their first names: Marcus and Brian

If you are addressing the invitation to the whole family, including children, you can mention the children's names on the inner envelope. For children under 18, you can use "Miss" for girls and "Master" for young boys, or simply use their first names.

Outer Envelope for the Family:

> The Craft-Crosby Family

Or

> Mr. and Mrs. Brian Craft-Crosby

Inner Envelope for the Family:

> Marcus, Brian, Emma, and Liam

Or

> Mr. and Mrs. Craft-Crosby, Emma, and Liam

Remember, the outer envelope should be more formal, while the inner envelope can be more casual and intimate. You can choose to include or exclude titles, depending on your preference and the level of formality you wish to convey.

Unmarried Couple Living at the Same Address

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples living at the same address, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Here are four to six paragraphs with a detailed guide:

For unmarried couples living together, the secret cue that they are not married is to write their names independently on two lines and without the word "and". For example, on the outer envelope, you would write:

> Mr. Aaron Triguiero

> Mr. Gabriel Reyes

On the inner envelope, you would write:

> Mr. Triguiero

> Mr. Reyes

Or

> Aaron

> Gabriel

When deciding on the order of the names, list the person you are closest to first or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests. This rule applies regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

If you are inviting an unmarried couple who live together, it is important to address the invitation to both people on one line. This is different from the envelope format for a married couple, where names are joined by "and" and can be written on the same line. For unmarried couples, each name gets its own line.

It is worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette has become less strict over time. If you feel that personal titles might feel restrictive or exclusive for your guest list, you can forgo them and simply use first and last names. You could also use gender-neutral titles, such as "Mx." if appropriate. Always double-check your attendees' preferred personal titles beforehand if you plan to include them.

Finally, if you are only sending one envelope (an outer envelope) with your wedding invitations, all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front. This includes guests that are typically only listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones. If you are short on space, you can use phrases like "and Family" or "The [Last name] Family."

Single Parent Inviting a Plus One

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few guidelines to keep in mind, especially when it comes to single parents inviting a plus one. Here are some tips to ensure your invitations are both proper and inclusive:

Outer Envelope Etiquette

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and should include the recipient's full name and title. If you are unsure about using titles, you can forgo them altogether. If your single-parent guest is bringing a plus one, include their name as well. For example:

"Mrs. Valerie Smith and Mrs. Hannah Woods"

Inner Envelope Etiquette

The inner envelope is more informal, allowing you to be more flexible with names and titles. If you don't know the name of your single-parent guest's plus one, you can simply write "and Guest." For example:

"Mrs. Valerie Smith & Guest"

Invitation Wording

When addressing your invitations, it is essential to use your single-parent guest's preferred title, such as "Ms." or "Mr." If they are bringing a plus one, you can include their name if you know it, or simply write "and Guest." Here is an example:

"Ms. Ali Johnson and Guest"

RSVP Cards

On your RSVP cards, it is a good idea to include a space for your single-parent guests to write the name of their plus one. This will be helpful for your seating chart and place cards. You can also include a note indicating that their plus one is invited, such as "You are invited to bring one guest."

Seating Arrangements

When planning your seating arrangements, try to create a comfortable dynamic for single guests and their plus ones. Avoid seating them between married couples or overly affectionate pairs. Instead, place them between friendly, outgoing couples to encourage a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Handling Requests for Plus Ones

It is not uncommon for guests who did not receive a plus one to reach out and ask for one. In such cases, kindly enquire about their request and assess if their relationship status has changed recently. If you are unable to accommodate their request due to budget or space constraints, respond with a polite explanation, such as:

"We'd love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair."

Remember, consistency is key when it comes to extending plus ones. Establish clear criteria for who gets a plus one, and be mindful of your single-parent guests' needs and comfort.

Frequently asked questions