Junior Rasmussen
Properly addressing a wedding invitation is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. It involves considerations such as the relationship status of the invitees, their honorific titles, and whether they are bringing a plus-one. The traditional format includes an outer envelope with a formal address and an inner envelope with a more informal address. While it is acceptable to use only an outer envelope, the inner envelope ensures the outer one stays pristine and allows for clarity regarding plus-ones and children. The outer envelope should include the guest's full name, title, and address, while the inner envelope typically includes the recipient's title and last name or first name.
What You'll Learn
Addressing a married couple with the same last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it's important to use the correct titles and spell out full names rather than using initials or abbreviations. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope is usually formatted as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
If the couple may prefer a more modern approach, the outer envelope can be formatted as "Mr. [Husband's first name] [Shared surname] and Mrs. [Wife's first name] [Shared surname]". For example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
The inner envelope is more informal and can include just the shared surname, or the first names of the couple. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
If you are addressing a married couple with different last names, the format is slightly different. The outer envelope should include both full names on the same line, with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". The inner envelope can then be more informal, including just the surnames or first names, for example, "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".
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Addressing a married couple with different last names
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope should be more formal, and you have a few options for how to format their names. You can write their full names with personal titles, such as:
> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez
Alternatively, you can choose to forgo personal titles and use their first and last names only. If you opt for this approach, be sure to double-check their preferred names and spelling.
> Maria Stevens and David Estevez
If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately, with the person you are closest with first, or in alphabetical order if you have no preference.
> Ms. Maria Stevens
> Mr. David Estevez
For the inner envelope, you have the option to be more informal. You can use their personal titles with last names:
> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez
Or, you can use just their first names:
> Maria and David
If you are addressing a married couple with different last names, and one person has chosen to hyphenate their last name, the format is slightly different. For the outer envelope, you would write:
> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft
And for the inner envelope:
> Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft
Or:
> Marcus and Brian
These guidelines will help ensure that your invitations to married couples with different last names are properly and respectfully addressed.
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Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is the envelope that will be seen by the post office. The inner envelope is more informal and will be seen only by the recipients.
For the outer envelope, the husband's name is typically written first, followed by the wife's name. The husband's name is written with his title and full name, while the wife's name includes her title, first name, maiden name, and married name. For example, "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones".
Another option for the outer envelope is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jones". This option may be preferred if the wife is less attached to her hyphenated name.
The inner envelope is more flexible and can include first names only or a combination of titles and first names. For example, "Michael and Mary" or "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones".
It is always a good idea to check with the couple beforehand to understand their preference, especially if the wife has a strong preference for how her hyphenated name is used.
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing an unmarried couple living at the same address, it's important to include both people's names on one line, connected by "and". The outer envelope should include their full names and titles, while the inner envelope can be more informal, with titles and last names or just first names.
Outer envelope:
Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee
Inner envelope:
Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee or Stanley and Amanda
When listing the names, the person you are closest to should come first, or you can go in alphabetical order by last name.
It is also important to note that you should always use the complete, formal name of your guest. Avoid using initials or abbreviations for titles, streets, or states. If you are unsure of a guest's middle name, omit it rather than using an initial.
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Addressing a single person
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, always use the guest's full, formal name. For example, "Mr. Steven Lewis Nelson" instead of "Uncle Steve". If you are aware of their full middle name, include it, but if not, simply omit it. Do not use initials or abbreviations.
If the single guest is a woman, the title "Ms." is generally used, regardless of her marital status. However, if she is under the age of 18, "Miss" is more appropriate. For men, the title "Mr." is used if they are over the age of 18; otherwise, no title is necessary. Here are some examples:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"
Outer envelope: "Mr. George Costanza" or "George Costanza" (if under 18)
Inner envelope: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"
If your single guest identifies as non-binary, the honorific "Mx." is often used. If you are unsure, it is best to ask for their preferred title.
Outer envelope: "Mx. Courtney Andrews"
Inner envelope: "Mx. Andrews"
If your guest is a widow, it is advisable to inquire if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows may also opt for "Ms."
Outer envelope: "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux"
Similarly, for a divorced woman, you can use either "Ms." or "Mrs." followed by her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.
Outer envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway"
If your single guest holds a distinguished title, such as a judge, priest, or military officer, this should be included in the address. For instance:
Outer envelope: "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor" (for a judge)
Inner envelope: "Judge Sotomayor"
Outer envelope: "Father Damien Karras" (for a priest)
Inner envelope: "Father Karras"
When including a plus-one for a single guest, the outer envelope should only feature the name of the person you know. The inner envelope can then include their name and "and guest". However, it is preferable to know the name of the plus-one in advance and include them by name on both envelopes.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the man’s full name is written out, with the titles of “Mr. and Mrs.” included. You can also opt to include both first names individually for a less traditional spin. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke" or "Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke".
For married couples with different last names, simply write out their full names with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” on the stationery. Either the man or woman can be mentioned first. For example: "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes".
For single persons, whether male, female, or non-binary, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use “Mr.” and then his full name. For female guests, use “Ms.” and then her full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.
For a single guest who gets a plus one, it’s best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, simply include “& Guest” or “and guest” following the full name of the invitee. For example: "Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest".
