Addressing Wedding Shower Invites: The Proper Etiquette

Proper etiquette is essential when addressing wedding shower invitations. Formality is key, and full names, as well as titles such as Dr., Mr. or Ms., should be included on the envelope. Each guest should receive their own invitation, even if they live in the same household. It is also important to hand-write the invitations, rather than printing them, to give a personal touch. The return address should be written on the back flap of the envelope, and invitations should be sent out at least four to six weeks in advance.

Choosing the right envelope

Envelope Quality and Colour:

Start by choosing a sturdy, high-quality envelope that feels thick rather than thin. This will create a positive first impression on your guests. If possible, select an envelope colour that matches or complements the colours on your invitation. This adds a cohesive and elegant touch to your stationery.

Envelope Size:

Ensure that your envelopes are the correct size for your invitations. Standard envelope sizes range from 4 ¼" x 5 ½" to 5 ¾" x 9 ¼". You want to make sure your invitations fit securely inside without being too cramped or having too much extra space.

Inner and Outer Envelopes:

Traditionally, wedding invitations included an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is for mailing and includes the guest's name and address, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation. However, using only an outer envelope is becoming more common and reduces expenses and paper waste.

Address Legibility:

It is essential to ensure that your guests' addresses are legible on the envelopes. Consider using a felt-tip, smudge-proof pen with black ink for the best results. If you have the budget, hiring a professional calligrapher can add a sophisticated touch. Alternatively, you can print addresses using clear labels or directly on the envelope, choosing a calligraphy font that matches the style of your invitation.

Address Format:

When writing your guests' addresses, avoid common abbreviations like "St." for "Street" or "Ave." for "Avenue." Instead, spell out these details in full to maintain formality. Numbers, however, should be written in numerical form for clarity.

Return Address:

Don't forget to include a return address on the back flap of the envelope. This ensures that any undelivered invitations can be returned to the sender. The return address should be the host's or the person keeping track of RSVPs. Use a similar style, font, and colour scheme as the front of the envelope for a cohesive look.

Envelope Seal:

Finally, consider how you will seal your envelopes. You can use a personalized envelope seal, a wax seal, or an envelope sealer from an office supply store to avoid having to lick the envelopes. This is especially helpful if you have a large number of invitations to send out.

Handwriting vs printing

When it comes to addressing wedding shower invitations, there are two main options: handwriting or printing. So, which is the best choice? Let's take a closer look at the pros and cons of each to help you decide.

Handwriting

Pros:

• Traditional wedding etiquette suggests that handwriting is the proper way to address envelopes, as social correspondence is typically written by hand while business correspondence is printed.
• Handwriting can add a personal touch to your invitations, making them feel more special and intimate.
• With handwriting, you have the freedom to choose any colour of ink, including opaques and metallics, to match your envelopes or wedding theme.
• DIY handwriting is very cost-effective, especially if you have nice handwriting and can do it yourself.

Cons:

• If you have bad handwriting or inconsistent penmanship, your envelopes may not look polished or professional. Illegible handwriting can also cause issues with delivery.
• Hiring a calligrapher to address your envelopes can be costly.

Printing

Pros:

• Digital printing is a modern and typically quick, easy, and cost-effective way to address envelopes.
• Printing ensures consistent and legible addresses on every envelope, with no worries about messy handwriting.
• You can mix and match fonts and graphics to create a modern and stylish look.
• DIY printing can be cost-effective, especially if you print the envelopes yourself at home.

Cons:

• Printing does not follow traditional wedding etiquette and may be considered less personal.
• The personal touch of handwriting is lost with printing.
• Print colours may be limited, and some printing methods, such as foil or letterpress, can be expensive.
• DIY printing can be time-consuming if you lack the proper knowledge or equipment.

Ultimately, the decision between handwriting and printing depends on your personal preferences, budget, and the overall style of your wedding shower invitations. Both options have their advantages and disadvantages, so choose the one that best suits your needs and aligns with your vision for your special day.

Titles and names

When addressing wedding shower invitations, it is important to follow proper etiquette. Here are some tips for getting the titles and names right:

• Include any social or professional titles such as "Dr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", or "Ms.". Use "Mrs." for married or widowed women, "Miss" for ladies under 18, and "Ms." for single, divorced, or married women who kept their maiden names.
• Traditionally, only women are invited to bridal showers. If you are inviting a man, write "Mr." before his name.
• Other professional titles include "Lieutenant", "Reverend", or "The Honorable" (for judges).

Names

• Use full formal names, including both the first and last name of the guest(s) of honour. Omit the middle name(s).
• Address married women by their given names. For example, use "Mrs. Jane Smith" instead of "Mrs. John Smith".
• If you are inviting couples, address them on the same envelope. You can use "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith" or "Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith". If one person has a higher ranking title, such as "Doctor", their name should come first.
• If you are unsure how to address someone, it is better to use "Miss" than to assume a marital status.
• When addressing multiple guests from the same household, each guest should receive a separate invitation unless they are a couple.

Address formatting

The outer envelope should be formal, with full names and titles such as "Dr.", "Mr.", "Miss", "Ms.", or "Mrs." included. This shows invited guests that you care enough to make the event extra special.

Handwrite the guest's name in the centre of the envelope using calligraphy. Be sure to preface their name with their title, such as "Mr.", "Dr.", "Miss", "Ms.", or "Mrs." Do not simply write their name, as this is not considered proper etiquette for a bridal shower invitation.

Write the guest's address below their name. Ensure that house and apartment numbers are written in numeric form, and that street names are written in full without any abbreviations. For example, write "5 Oak Lane" instead of "Five Oak Lane", and "Avenue" instead of "Ave."

Write the city and state name in full, without abbreviations. For example, "Buffalo, New York" instead of "Buffalo, NY". Place the zip code under or after the state.

Print the return address on the back flap of the envelope. It should be centred and written in the same ink as the front of the envelope. The return address should be the same on every envelope so that you can easily keep track of all the responses.

Return address

The return address is an essential part of your wedding shower invitation suite. It allows guests to RSVP to your celebration and protects your invite from any mailing mishaps. It also lets guests know where to send a shower gift if the RSVP information includes an email address or phone number instead of a physical address.

• Location of the Return Address: The preferred location for the return address is on the back flap of the envelope. This makes it easily visible and accessible for the recipient and postal service while maintaining a clean and uncluttered look on the front of the envelope. If your invitation package includes an inner envelope, you can also write the return address on the back of this.
• Format of the Return Address:
• Font: Choose a font that aligns with your wedding's aesthetic. Consider the overall design and formality of the invitation when selecting the font, size, and style. Handwritten calligraphy or a printer that mimics calligraphy fonts is ideal. If that's not possible, clear and legible handwriting or printed labels are acceptable. Avoid fancy or overly decorative fonts.
• Address: The return address should include the names and address of the host(s) or the individuals sending the invitations. Traditionally, this would be the parents of the bride or the couple themselves if they are hosting their own wedding. Alternatively, you can use a wedding planner's address if they are managing the invitation process and RSVPs.
• Details: Format the return address with the names on the first line, followed by the full street address on the second line, and the city, state, and zip code on the third line. Ensure proper spacing and alignment for a clean and organised look, with each line aligned with the left margin. Avoid using abbreviations and spell out everyone's full name, the street name, the city, and the state.
• Consistency: Ensure that the return address on the outer envelope matches the address printed on the RSVP envelope if separate envelopes are included. This maintains consistency and avoids confusion for guests.
• Labels and Stamps: It is acceptable to use labels or a custom stamp to ensure consistency and make your job easier. Just make sure that the labels or stamp match the style, font, and overall look of the address on the front of the envelope.

Frequently asked questions