Responding To Wedding Invites: Formal Acceptance Etiquette

When you receive a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly and appropriately. A formal reply to a wedding invitation typically adheres to traditional etiquette, expressing gratitude for the invitation and clearly stating whether or not you will be attending. This response can be made via various methods, including email, wedding websites, response cards, or handwritten letters. When responding, it's a good idea to mirror the level of formality in the invitation and consider what the couple might find appropriate. For instance, a touch of humour is often appreciated. This guide will provide you with all the information you need to formally accept a wedding invitation.

Respond promptly

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly. This helps the couple plan ahead, finalise numbers and inform the caterers and venue. It's also courteous to let them know as soon as possible if you can't make it, as they may want to invite someone else in your place.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card, it's a simple matter of ticking the relevant box and sending it back in the provided envelope. If there's no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. It's good to respond in the way the couple has indicated on the invitation, but a handwritten response is always a nice touch and can be done in addition to the prescribed method.

If you're unable to attend, it's best not to leave it until the last minute to tell the couple. A prompt RSVP means they can invite someone else if they wish. It's also good to follow up with a call or message, even if you don't know the couple well, to show you're genuinely disappointed about not being able to make it.

It's also worth noting that if the invitation is addressed to you "and guest", you must decide if you want to bring someone and let the host know. If you reply only for yourself, don't show up with a date or companion.

Use the method requested by the host

When it comes to accepting a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly and use the method requested by the host. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to help you navigate this process with ease:

Understanding the Host's Requested Method

When you receive a wedding invitation, pay close attention to the requested method of response. Nowadays, hosts may specify a variety of response methods, including email, wedding websites, response cards, or no preferred method. Respecting their chosen method is essential.

Responding Formally through Email or Post

If the host requests an email response or provides an RSVP card, it's important to maintain a formal tone. Here's an example of a formal acceptance:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Your Surname] accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Host's Surname] to the wedding of their daughter [Bride's Name] & [Groom's Name] on [Date].

If you need to provide a split acceptance/regret, where some invited individuals cannot attend, modify your response as follows:

> [Your Name] accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Host's Surname] for [Date].

>

> [Other Invited Individual's Name] regrets that they are unable to attend.

Adding a Personal Touch

While maintaining formality, you can also add a personal touch to your response. Express your delight in accepting the invitation and looking forward to sharing in their special day. Here's an example:

> Dear [Host's Names],

>

> We are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on [Date]. We look forward to celebrating this memorable occasion with you.

If you are unable to attend, it is considerate to express your regret and assure the hosts that they will be in your thoughts:

> Dear [Host's Names],

>

> We are very sorry that we will be unable to attend your wedding. Please know that we will be thinking of you during your special day and wishing you all the best.

Responding Informally to Close Hosts

If you have a close relationship with the hosts and the invitation allows for an informal response, you can write a brief and sincere message. Here's an example:

> Dear [Host's Names],

>

> [Partner's Name] and I are thrilled to accept your invitation! We can't wait to celebrate this happy occasion with you and look forward to making lasting memories.

For regrets, an informal response can include a light-hearted touch while expressing your disappointment:

> Hi [Host's Names],

>

> We're so sad to miss out on your big day! Unfortunately, we already have plans that overlap with your wedding date. We hope you understand, and we'll be thinking of you and popping some bubbly in your honour!

Remember, when using the method requested by the host, it's essential to respond promptly and clearly indicate your attendance or regrets. This consideration helps the hosts immensely with their wedding planning and guest list management.

Match the formality of the invitation

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to match the level of formality in your reply to that of the invitation itself. This shows respect for the couple's wishes and helps them plan their big day. Here are some tips to help you navigate this:

Formal Invitation = Formal Response

If you receive a formal wedding invitation, such as a black-tie event, your response should be formal as well. This means writing in the third person and following the wording of a formal invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.

Informal/Contemporary Invitation = Informal Response

If the invitation is more informal, such as an email or a phone call, your response can be more casual. Write in the first person and keep your reply brief and sincere, or add a touch of humour. For instance:

> Tim and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday, 18th August 2023. We look forward to sharing in your special day.

Split Acceptance/Regret

In cases where more than one person is invited but not all can attend, you can use a "split acceptance/regret" format. This allows you to accept for those attending and regret for those who cannot. For example:

> Susan and Mark Smith, accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Saturday, the eighteenth of August. regrets that she is unable to attend.

RSVP Cards

Many formal wedding invitations come with RSVP cards, making it convenient for guests to respond quickly. These cards usually have tick boxes for "accept with pleasure" or "regret they are unable to attend." Simply tick the appropriate box and return the card in the provided envelope.

Remember, it's essential to respond promptly to any wedding invitation and to follow any specific instructions provided by the couple. Your timely response helps them with their planning and guest list management.

Include a handwritten response

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly and confirm your attendance or regrets. While there are various ways to respond, such as email, phone call, or response cards, a handwritten response is a beautiful way to leave an impression on the couple. Here are some tips for including a handwritten response when formally accepting a wedding invitation:

Formal Response: For a formal wedding invitation or a black-tie event, it is customary to write in the third person, following the wording of a formal invitation. For example:

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. John Harris to the wedding reception of their daughter Sarah and Tom Harris on Saturday, August 18th."

Split Acceptance/Regret: If more than one person is invited on the same invitation, but not all can attend, you can use the following format:

"accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Harris for Saturday, the 18th of August. Regrets that she is unable to attend."

Informal/Contemporary Invitation: For a more informal invitation, especially if you know the couple well, you can write in the first person and keep the response brief and sincere. For example:

"Dear Thomas and Patricia, Mark and I are delighted to accept your invitation to your wedding on Saturday, the 18th of August. We look forward to sharing your special day with you."

• Personalize Your Response: While following the formal structure, you can add a personal touch by expressing your excitement and well wishes for the couple. For instance, "We are thrilled to be able to attend your wedding and celebrate this special milestone with you. Congratulations and best wishes!"
• Respond Promptly: It is important to respond to the wedding invitation as soon as possible. This helps the couple with their planning and allows them to make any necessary arrangements or adjustments to their guest list.
• Include a Congratulatory Message: A handwritten response is a wonderful opportunity to express your happiness for the couple and wish them a lifetime of happiness. For example, "Thank you for including us in your special day. We are excited to celebrate this joyous occasion with you and offer our warmest congratulations."

Thank the couple and express gratitude

Thanking the couple and expressing gratitude is an essential part of formally accepting a wedding invitation. Here are some ways to do this:

Formal Wording

As a general rule, when responding to a formal wedding invitation, it is customary to mirror the tone and format of the invitation. This typically involves writing in the third person and including the specific details of the event, such as the date and the names of the couple getting married. Here are some examples:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Your Last Name] accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Couple's Last Name] to the wedding of their daughter [Bride's Name] & [Groom's Name].

> Mr. and Mrs. [Your Last Name] accept with pleasure [or regret] the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Couple's Last Name] for [date of the wedding].

Informal/Contemporary Wording

If you have a close relationship with the couple and the invitation is more informal, you can write in the first person and use a more casual tone. Here are some examples:

> Thank you so much for inviting us to your wedding. We are honoured and delighted to share in your special day. We can't wait to celebrate with you!

> We are so excited to attend your wedding and are grateful to be included in your celebration. Thank you for inviting us, and we look forward to creating lasting memories with you on your big day!

Gratitude and Best Wishes

Whether you are accepting or declining the invitation, expressing gratitude and sending your best wishes is essential. Here are some ways to do this:

> "Thank you for inviting us to be a part of your special day. May your wedding day be the start of a lifetime of happiness together."

> "We are so thankful for your kind invitation and look forward to celebrating this momentous occasion with you. Wishing you both all the best!"

> "Thank you for including us in your wedding plans. We are thrilled to attend and celebrate this happy occasion with you."

> "It means so much to us that you thought of us for your wedding day. We are delighted to accept and send our warmest congratulations."

Frequently asked questions