Explaining 'Invitation-Only' Weddings To Your Guests

Explaining the concept of an invitation-only wedding to your guests can be tricky, but it's important to be clear and concise to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here's a paragraph to help you get started:

We are thrilled to celebrate our special day with you! Due to venue capacity or other personal reasons, we have chosen to have an invitation-only wedding. This means that only those who receive a formal invitation will be able to attend the ceremony and/or reception. We kindly ask that you respect our wishes and understand that this decision was not made lightly. We promise it will be a memorable celebration, and we are grateful to have you as part of it.

Remember to communicate this message with sensitivity and empathy, especially if some family members or close friends are not invited to the ceremony.

Explain the reason for the small guest list

Explaining the reason for a small guest list can be tricky, but it's important to be clear and concise to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some paragraphs to help you explain the reason for the small guest list:

"We want our wedding to be an intimate affair with only our closest family and friends in attendance. By keeping the guest list small, we hope to create a warm and cosy atmosphere that fosters meaningful connections and joyful celebrations."

"Due to space constraints at our chosen venue, we are limited in the number of guests we can invite. We want to ensure that everyone we love is able to attend, so we have decided to keep the guest list small and intimate."

"In an effort to create a more personalised and memorable experience for our guests, we have opted for a smaller guest list. This way, we can ensure that each person in attendance feels valued and included in our special day."

"Our wedding is going to be a small, private ceremony with just immediate family. We understand that this may come as a disappointment to some, but we hope that you can respect our decision and celebrate with us in spirit."

"We understand that some may be surprised by our limited guest list, but we want to assure you that this decision was not made lightly. We are prioritising an intimate setting for our wedding to ensure that we can fully connect and celebrate with those in attendance."

Remember, it's essential to convey your excitement and gratitude for their presence at the reception, even if they were not invited to the ceremony. It's also a good idea to spread the word through family members and friends to avoid any potential hurt feelings.

Provide clear and concise details

How to Explain 'By Invitation Only' Weddings

The decision to have an 'invitation-only' wedding is a personal one and there are many reasons why couples may choose to do so. Here are some clear and concise details to help explain this decision:

An 'invitation-only' wedding is a celebration where only invited guests are allowed to attend. This means that the guest list is predetermined by the couple and/or their families, and only those who receive a formal invitation are expected to come.

There are several reasons why a couple might opt for an 'invitation-only' wedding:

• Intimacy and Privacy: Some couples prefer a small, intimate ceremony with only their closest family and friends present. This allows them to share their special day with their loved ones in a more private and meaningful way.
• Budget Constraints: Weddings can be expensive, and limiting the guest list helps control costs. By having an 'invitation-only' wedding, couples can allocate their budget towards creating a more personalised experience for their guests.
• Venue Restrictions: Certain venues may have limited capacity or specific requirements for guest lists, especially if the ceremony is held at a private residence or exclusive location.
• Destination Weddings: If the wedding is at a distant location or requires extensive travel, couples may choose to limit the guest list to those who are able or willing to make the journey.

Clear communication is essential to ensure guests understand the 'invitation-only' nature of the wedding:

• Invitations: Ensure that invitations are personalised and addressed to specific guests. This helps indicate that the event is exclusive and not open to additional attendees.
• Website and RSVP: The wedding website and RSVP process should reinforce the 'invitation-only' nature of the event. Make it clear that only those who have received invitations are expected to respond and attend.
• Word of Mouth: Encourage family members, the wedding party, and close friends to spread the word about the 'invitation-only' format. This helps manage expectations and reduces the likelihood of uninvited guests assuming they are welcome.

Handling Potential Challenges

The 'invitation-only' format may lead to emotional responses from family members or friends who are not included in the ceremony guest list. It is important to:

• Stay firm and consistent: Once the guest lists are finalised, avoid making exceptions to avoid hurt feelings or confusion.
• Express Gratitude: Convey your excitement and gratitude for their presence at the reception, emphasising that their celebration is important to you.
• Provide Clear Wording: Use clear and concise wording on the invitations to indicate the 'invitation-only' nature of the event. This helps set expectations and reduces the need for additional explanations.

Sample Wording for 'Invitation-Only' Weddings

• "We invite you to celebrate with us at our intimate wedding ceremony."
• "Due to venue restrictions, we kindly request your understanding that this is an 'invitation-only' event."
• "In order to create an intimate setting, we respectfully ask that only invited guests attend."
• "We would be honoured if you could join us at our small, private ceremony."

Remember to adapt the wording to fit your personal circumstances and the tone you wish to set for your wedding.

Deciding to have an 'invitation-only' wedding allows couples to create a more personalised and intimate experience for their guests. Clear communication and thoughtful consideration of guests' feelings are key to ensuring a smooth process and a memorable celebration.

Include an insert card

If you're worried about your wedding invitation sounding too wordy, or you're concerned about the design looking too cluttered, you can always include an insert card. This is a great way to provide guests with additional information without overcrowding the actual invitation.

• Reception details: If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply say "reception to follow" on the invitation. If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card.
• Dress code: It's helpful to include the dress code on the invitation, usually in the lower corner or bottom center. Alternatively, use a details card or your wedding website to convey this information.
• Directions: If your wedding is taking place in a rural location or an area with poor cell service, it might be helpful to include a directions card.
• Accommodation suggestions: If you have a lot of out-of-town guests, you could include a card with hotel suggestions, including any room blocks and booking deadlines.
• Additional events: If you're hosting a welcome cocktail party, a farewell brunch, or any other wedding-adjacent events, include the details on an insert card.

Be mindful of the host line

The host line is the very first thing your guests will see on your wedding invitation, so it's important to get it right. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sometimes tricky aspect of wedding invitation wording:

Who Are the Hosts?

Traditionally, the bride's parents host the wedding, and their names would appear at the top of the invitation. However, modern weddings often involve multiple hosts, including both sets of parents, the couple themselves, or a combination of the couple and their parents. If the couple is hosting the wedding, you can skip the host line altogether or start with a warm and welcoming introduction.

How to Word the Host Line

The wording of the host line will depend on who is hosting the wedding. Here are some examples to help you get started:

• One set of married parents hosting: "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams" (for a very formal wedding, including the middle name).
• One set of divorced parents hosting: List the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line, without using "and" to connect them.
• Both sets of parents hosting: For different-sex couples, list the bride's parents' names first, followed by the groom's parents' names. For same-sex couples, list the names according to preference or what looks best with the invitation design.
• Couple hosting with their families: "Together with their families" or "Together with our families".

Honoring a Deceased Parent

If you want to honour a deceased parent on your wedding invitations, you can include their name alongside one of the couple's names or in the host line. Here's an example: "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Robert Martinez and the late Marta Martinez."

Other Considerations

When writing the host line, be sure to capitalise proper names and titles, and use punctuation only after courtesy titles. Avoid using abbreviations and initials, and spell out courtesy titles (except for "Doctor" in the case of medical doctors).

Send invitations with plenty of notice

Sending out your wedding invitations in a timely manner is crucial, especially if you're planning a destination wedding or if your wedding falls on a holiday weekend. The general rule of thumb is to mail your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the big day. However, if your wedding requires guests to undertake extensive travel arrangements, it's advisable to send out the invitations three months in advance. This will give your guests ample time to make the necessary travel plans and ensure their attendance.

Additionally, if your wedding falls into the category of a "reception-only" wedding, where the ceremony has already taken place separately, it's essential to provide clear and timely information. This type of wedding usually follows a small, private ceremony, and the reception serves as a larger celebration with a broader guest list. In such cases, it's recommended to send out "save-the-dates" six months or more before the reception invitations go out. This will give your guests a heads-up, especially if they need to make travel arrangements.

To ensure a smooth process, it's important to set your RSVP deadline for three to four weeks before the wedding date. This will allow you to receive responses from guests who may have missed the initial deadline and give you enough time to finalise the details with your caterer and create your seating chart.

If you're concerned about guests feeling left out or confused about the "by invitation only" aspect, you can always include a personal note or a separate ceremony invitation card for those invited to the ceremony. This way, you can maintain clear communication and set the right expectations for your guests.

Frequently asked questions