Guide To Wedding Invite Phases: From Save Dates To Rsvps

Planning a wedding can be a stressful process, and one of the most important steps is inviting your guests. To make things easier, it's best to split the job into three parts: creating your guest list, sending out save-the-date cards, and sending out wedding invitations.

The first step is to create your guest list. This can be a tricky process as you will need to consider your budget and how many people it will cover. It's important to be realistic about numbers as the more people you invite, the more expensive the day will be. Once you have your guest list finalized, you can start thinking about sending out save-the-date cards. This will give your guests a heads-up and ensure that all the key people can attend. You can send these by text, email, or physical card.

The next step is to send out your wedding invitations. This is an essential step as it will provide your guests with all the information they need for the day, such as food options and an itinerary. It's also a nice memento of the day. Your invitations should include an RSVP card so that guests can let you know if they are attending and what they would like to eat. Be sure to give them a deadline to respond by so that you can confirm numbers with your caterers and venue.

Creating your guest list

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of guests you invite will significantly impact your wedding budget. Feeding people, ordering place settings and centrepieces, and even choosing a venue are all dependent on the guest count. Therefore, it is essential to set a budget and decide on the number of invites accordingly. It is also good to keep in mind that people contributing financially to the wedding may expect a say in the guest list.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

Focus on your closest loved ones and immediate family members first. Think about who you would want to be there no matter what (parents, siblings, close friends, etc.) and make sure they are on the list. If you have a large guest list, remember that you may not get the chance to interact with everyone, so consider whether you want to spend time making small talk with lots of people or celebrating with a small group.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

Decide early on how you will handle plus-ones to avoid dealing with this issue on a case-by-case basis. You might allow plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged couples, or those who live together with their partners. Alternatively, you could decide not to allow any plus-ones at all.

Consider Travel Requirements

Accessibility is an important factor for guests when deciding whether they can attend your wedding. Travel requirements, such as visa rules, and the availability of convenient flights to your destination wedding location, should be considered when curating your guest list.

Be Strategic with the B-List

A B-list is common in wedding planning, but it requires careful handling. If you have a B-list, send invitations at least four months in advance to give yourself time to add B-list guests thoughtfully. Be mindful of groups within the B-list, such as coworkers, to ensure that you can invite the entire group if needed.

Utilize a Guest List Manager

To keep track of guest names and details, consider using a guest list manager like The Knot Guest List Manager. This tool allows you to manage guest information, collect addresses, and track RSVPs in one central location, making the process more organized and efficient.

Remember, this is your wedding, and you should plan it according to your preferences. Be concise with your invitations, consider the host and formality, and include an insert card for additional information like registry details or dress code advice.

Sending out invites

Create Your Guest List

It's essential to sit down with your partner and both sets of parents to decide on the guest list. Be realistic about numbers, as the more people you invite, the more expensive the day will be. Shortening your guest list can be tough, but it's important to remember that you can't invite everyone you know.

Send Save-the-Date Cards

Consider sending save-the-date cards or emails to your guests before sending out the official invitations. This will give your guests a heads-up and ensure that all the key people can attend.

Finalise the Details

Before sending out your invitations, make sure you have finalised all the details of your wedding, including the date, time, venue, and reception information. Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding.

Include All the Necessary Information

When creating your invitations, include the full names of the couple, the request to attend the wedding, the date and time, the ceremony location, and the reception venue. If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply state "reception to follow". It is also a good idea to include an RSVP card with a deadline for guests to respond, usually about two to three weeks before the wedding.

Assemble and Send the Invitations

Don't forget to assemble your invitations correctly and include postage stamps on the response envelopes. It is also a good idea to include a return address on the invitations so that you can reach out to guests if there are any issues with delivery.

Include RSVP cards

Wedding RSVP cards, also called "reply cards" or "response cards", are an essential part of the wedding invitation suite. They are typically mailed to guests along with the wedding invitation, direction cards, reception cards, and other enclosure cards, about six to eight weeks before the wedding date. For destination weddings, it is recommended to mail the invitations and RSVP cards three months in advance.

The RSVP cards should be designed to match the wedding invitation colours, fonts, and design motifs. However, you can also mix things up by choosing a different yet complementary design for the RSVP cards. Here are some key elements to include on the RSVP cards:

• Request for Response: Clearly indicate that guests need to fill out and return the card. Use "RSVP", "Reply", or more explicit phrases like "Kindly reply" or "Please reply".
• Guest Line: This is where guests will write their names. Traditionally, an RSVP card includes an "M" followed by a line ( "M______________________"), with the "M" standing for the first letter of the guest's title (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms.). For a more modern approach, simply write "Name(s)________________".
• Number of Invited Guests Line (Optional): For clarity, you may include a line indicating the number of guests invited from each party. For example, write "We have reserved ____ seats in your honour" and handwrite the number before sending out the cards.
• Response Deadline: Set a deadline for guests to respond, usually about two to three weeks before the wedding date. This deadline should be prominently displayed on the RSVP card.
• Accepts/Regrets Line: This is the most important line, where guests indicate whether they will attend or not. You can have some fun with the wording, such as "_accepts with pleasure_", "_declines with regret_", or "_will be toasting from afar_".
• Number Attending Line (Optional): If you want an exact guest count, include a line for guests to specify the number of people attending from their party.
• Meal Selection (Optional): If you are offering multiple entrée options at the reception, ask guests to initial their meal choice on the RSVP card. This information will be useful for the caterer.
• Additional Requests (Optional): If space allows, you can include playful or practical requests, such as song requests or arrival dates for destination weddings.

Remember to include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope with the RSVP card to make it convenient for guests to respond promptly.

Tracking responses

Another option is to use an online platform such as The Knot or WithJoy, which offers a free guest list tool that helps manage guest information, collect addresses, and track RSVPs. These platforms can also assist with sending quick reminders and custom RSVP questions.

Additionally, consider including a private link or URL to your wedding website on the printed invitations, allowing guests to respond digitally. This method streamlines the response process and makes it easier to collect and manage guest information.

Finally, for those who prefer a more traditional approach, physical RSVP cards can be included with the wedding invitations. This option may be more suitable for guests who are not comfortable with digital responses.

Finalising numbers

Finalising the number of guests for your wedding can be a tricky task. Here are some tips to help you through the process:

Start with a rough estimate

Initially, create a fantasy guest list that includes everyone you would like to invite. Then, consider your venue capacity and budget to narrow down the list to a more realistic number. The larger the guest list, the more money you'll need for catering, invitations, and event rentals. Most venues have minimum and maximum headcounts, so ensure your number falls within their range.

Separate guests into priority lists:

Divide your guests into an "A-list" and a "B-list." The "A-list" should include those who must attend, such as close family and friends. The "B-list" can be made up of people you would enjoy having at your wedding but could do without. This strategy is especially useful if you need to make cuts or if you have more RSVPs than expected and want to invite additional guests.

Consider plus-ones:

Determine which guests should be invited with a plus-one. As a general rule, consider offering plus-ones to your wedding party, married guests, engaged guests, and those in long-term relationships. You may also want to make exceptions for guests who won't know anyone else at the wedding, such as a childhood friend. Be sure to include all the plus-ones in your total guest count.

Assess your connections:

Look at each guest on your list and ask yourself: "Will I still be in touch with this person regularly in five years?" If the answer is no or uncertain, consider leaving them off the guest list, especially if cuts are necessary. This question can be tricky when parents or in-laws are contributing financially, as they may want a say in the guest list. Try to find a balance by allocating a certain number of invitations for them to use.

Navigate workplace dynamics:

Deciding whether to invite coworkers to your wedding can be challenging. If you work in a small group, it may be inappropriate to leave out one person while inviting others. On the other hand, if you have a large team, it becomes more complicated, and you may want to limit invitations to those with whom you have a personal relationship outside of work.

Decide on children's attendance:

Determine whether you want an adults-only wedding or if children will be included. If you opt for the latter, establish guidelines and only invite guests above a certain age. Morning or afternoon weddings tend to be more casual and appropriate for youngsters, while evening events are often child-free. If guests express their inability to attend without their children, politely explain that it would be unfair to others you've declined.

Finalise the numbers:

Once you've decided on your guest list, send it to your venue and caterers so they can prepare accordingly. Ensure you have finalised details such as the number of guests attending the ceremony, reception, and meal, along with any dietary requirements and access needs. It's advisable to send the finalised guest list only after you have confirmed RSVPs to avoid confusion.

Frequently asked questions