Etiquette Guide: Distributing Wedding Invites

Wedding invitation assembly can be a confusing process, but it's not rocket science. There are a few steps to follow to ensure your invitations are properly put together and ready to send to your guests. First, confirm your guest list and sort them into categories, deciding who will be invited to which events. Next, decide on the style of your invitations—digital, physical, or a combination of both. Once you've received your invitations from the printer, it's time to start assembling. The general rule is to place the invitation face up, followed by any tissue paper or vellum, reception card, enclosure cards, and finally, the RSVP card under the flap of the reply envelope. If using two envelopes, place the assembled suite into the inner envelope before inserting it into the outer envelope. Seal the envelope using a moistened adhesive liner, glue stick, or double-sided tape. Add sufficient postage, and hand your invitations to a postal worker instead of dropping them in a mailbox.

Finalise your guest list

Finalising your guest list can be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. It affects your budget, venue options, and the overall vibe of the event. Here are some tips to help you finalise your guest list:

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of people you invite will heavily impact your wedding budget. From the number of place settings and centrepieces to the venue capacity, your headcount will influence many aspects of your wedding. Therefore, it's essential to set a budget and then decide on the number of invites. This will help you stick to your financial plan and avoid overspending.

Prioritise Close Loved Ones

Focus on your closest loved ones and immediate family members. Think about who absolutely must be there, such as parents, siblings, close friends, and grandparents. If you have a large guest list, remember that you may not get the chance to interact with everyone, so consider whether you want to spend time making small talk or celebrating with a tight-knit group.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

Decide early on how you'll handle plus-ones to avoid last-minute decisions. You might allow plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged couples, or those who live together. Alternatively, you can choose not to allow any plus-ones at all. Just be consistent and communicate your criteria clearly to your guests.

Consider Travel Requirements

Accessibility is an important factor for your guests when deciding whether they can attend. Consider travel requirements, such as visa rules or convenient flight options, especially for destination weddings. This is crucial when determining your guest list to ensure that your chosen location can accommodate your guests' needs.

Work with Your Venue

Before finalising your guest list, have a rough idea of the number of guests you plan to invite. This will help you select a venue that can accommodate your group size. Once you have a finalised list, send it to your venue and caterers so they can prepare accordingly. Include the final number of guests for the ceremony, reception, and meal, along with any dietary requirements and access needs.

Be Flexible

Your guest list may change over time. Relationships may start or end, friendships may grow or fade, and family dynamics may shift. It's okay to adjust your guest list to reflect these changes. If your list gets too long, you may need to make cuts to accommodate your venue's capacity. On the other hand, if your list shrinks, you can allocate more of your budget to enhance your guests' experience.

Sort guests into categories

Sorting your wedding guests into categories is a great way to ensure that your wedding invitations are distributed smoothly. Here are some tips to help you with this process:

Create a Master List

Begin by compiling a comprehensive list of everyone you would consider inviting to your wedding. This list should include immediate family, close friends, colleagues, distant relatives, acquaintances, and their respective partners and children. Having a master list will allow you to visualise your options and make informed decisions.

Identify Top-Tier Guests

Separate out the guests you absolutely want at your wedding. These are the people you cannot imagine getting married without. They are typically your closest family members and friends. Highlight them on your list, ensuring they are non-negotiables and will receive invitations.

Categorise by Events

Not all guests will be invited to every event during your wedding celebrations. Sort your guests into categories based on the events they will attend. For example, you may have categories such as "wedding-reception attendees", "all-event attendees", or "reception-only attendees". This will help you determine the number of invitations and their content.

Consider Budget and Venue Constraints

Your wedding budget and venue capacity will play a significant role in finalising your guest list. Work out how many guests you can realistically afford and how many people your dream venue can accommodate. This may mean having to trim down your list to fit within these constraints.

Allocate for Package Deals

Remember to account for "package deals". For example, if you invite a couple with children, you will need to include the parents and their kids in your count. Similarly, if you invite someone with a live-in partner, you should invite them as well.

Be Consistent with Plus-Ones

Decide on a clear and consistent rule for offering plus-ones. For instance, you could invite only those who have been in a relationship for a certain duration, such as six months or more. Be sure to stick to the rule you establish to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Consider Reciprocity

If you attended a friend's wedding within the last year, especially if it was a similar size, it is considerate to invite them to your wedding. If you are having a more intimate affair, a gentle explanation is usually understood.

Avoid Tiered Invites

While it may be tempting to create a priority system and inform guests of their place, this approach can cause confusion and hurt feelings. It is generally best to avoid making your guests feel like they are second-tier choices.

Be Fair with Family

Try to treat members of different families equally to avoid hurt feelings. An all-or-nothing approach is often more understandable than explaining how you are closer to one family than another.

Consider Cultural Dynamics

In some cultures, such as Asian weddings, the dynamic shifts dramatically. There may be a stronger desire to invite distant relatives or friends who were important to your parents. In such cases, a categorisation strategy can be useful, grouping guests into "can't-get-married-without", "would-love-to-have", and "nice-to-have".

Remember, sorting guests into categories is a practical step to ensure your wedding invitations are managed effectively. Be considerate, consistent, and mindful of your guests' feelings throughout the process.

Decide on the style of invites

Deciding on the style of your wedding invitations is a very important step in the wedding planning process. Your invitations are the first thing your guests will see, hear, touch, and feel when it comes to your wedding. They set the tone for the entire event and give your guests a preview of what to expect on the big day.

• Know your wedding style: Is your wedding going to be formal or casual? Modern or boho? Knowing the overall style and theme of your wedding will help you choose invitations that match.
• Consider your colours: If you already have a colour scheme in mind, try to find invitations that incorporate those colours. This will create a cohesive look for your wedding.
• Think about the shape and size: Different shapes and sizes of invitations can change the overall look and feel of your wedding stationery. Common options include tri-fold, gatefold, flat, square, bracket, round, ticket, and scalloped.
• Choose your font: The font you choose should match the style of your wedding. For example, a serif font like Times New Roman is a popular choice for classic, formal weddings, while a script font is more elegant and commonly used in wedding invitations.
• Decide on paper type: The paper type you choose should match your wedding theme and budget. Popular options include cotton fibre, felt cardstock, matte, glossy, parchment, vellum, handmade paper, recycled paper, and linen.
• Add extra touches: You can elevate the look and feel of your invitations with extra touches like foil stamping, envelope liners, belly bands, wax seals, lace, or ribbons.
• Incorporate your theme: If you have a specific wedding theme, try to find invitations that match. For example, if you're having a rustic wedding, look for invitations with wooden patterns, burlap, or barn accents.
• Match your save-the-dates: If you're sending out save-the-date cards, consider choosing a matching design for your invitations. This creates a cohesive look and feel for your wedding stationery.
• Order samples: Before you place a large order, consider ordering samples of your favourite invitations. This will allow you to see and touch the invitations in person before making a final decision.

Remember, your wedding invitations should reflect your personal style and give your guests a glimpse of what to expect on your special day. Take your time to browse different options, consider your budget, and don't be afraid to add creative touches that make your invitations unique.

Design the invite

Designing your own wedding invitations is a great way to save money and add a personal touch to your special day. Here are some tips to help you create beautiful, custom invitations that reflect your unique style and personality.

Pick a Theme and Style

Start by choosing a theme and style that complement your wedding's overall aesthetic. Are you going for a rustic, whimsical, or traditional look? Select two or three colours that match your wedding palette and use them consistently throughout your design. Consider adding small details like floral or star borders to hint at your theme without giving too much away. If you're having a seasonal or venue-inspired wedding, you can incorporate those elements into your invitations as well.

Choose the Right Font

Select a font that reflects the style and tone of your wedding. Cursive or calligraphy fonts are excellent choices for wedding invitations as they are soft, romantic, and elegant. Pair them with a serif font for the body text to create a beautiful contrast. Avoid bold, blocky fonts, as they can appear too harsh.

Include Romantic Imagery

Consider using a photo of you and your fiancé on the invite to make it more personal and meaningful. Watercolour textures, illustrations, or a timeline of your relationship are also creative ways to showcase your love story. If you have a specific wedding venue, you can include illustrations or icons that represent it, such as pyramids for a destination wedding in Egypt.

Think About the Shape and Size

Traditional wedding invitations are rectangular, with dimensions of 4.5 inches by 6.25 inches. This classic shape and size can help keep printing costs down. However, feel free to break tradition and explore other popular styles, such as horizontal rectangles or scalloped designs.

Pay Attention to Wording and Etiquette

Wedding invitations typically include the hosts' names, the wedding announcement, location and timing details, RSVP date, and where to find more information. It's important to use formal language and consider the tone of your wording to match the formality of your wedding. Be sure to proofread your text for any errors or spelling mistakes and always get a third party to review it as well.

Select the Right Paper and Printing Method

Choose a thick cardstock, such as 120 lb. uncoated cardstock, for a luxurious look and feel. Linen or felt-textured paper can also add a unique touch to your invitations. If you're printing at home, test different paper samples on your printer to ensure you get the desired results. Consider using a full-bleed design, where the colours reach the edge of the paper, for a professional and polished look.

Plan and Order in Advance

Give yourself plenty of time to design and order your invitations. Start brainstorming your wedding invitation design as soon as you've chosen your venue, and aim to finalise your design eight to 12 months before the big day. This will allow you to create custom invitations that perfectly capture your style. Don't forget to order a few extra invitations to account for any mistakes or last-minute guest list additions!

Prepare for distribution

Before you start sending out your wedding invitations, there are a few steps you should take to ensure the process goes smoothly. Here's a detailed guide on how to prepare for the distribution of your wedding invitations:

• Finalise your guest list: This is often a tricky task, as you'll need to consider the number of guests your venue can accommodate and decide who to invite. Be prepared for possible disagreements and discussions with family members.
• Sort your guests into categories: Not all guests will be invited to every event, so sort them into categories such as wedding-reception attendees, all-event attendees, and reception-only attendees. This will help you determine the number of invitations and inner leaves you need to print.
• Decide on the style of invitations: With the pandemic, digital invitations have become a popular option. Decide whether you want to go fully digital, partially digital, or stick with physical invitations. You can also consider sending save-the-date notifications digitally and following up with physical invitations.
• Design and print your invitations: Have your invitation design ready at least 5 months before the wedding. This will give you enough time for printing, labelling, and distribution. It usually takes 3-4 weeks for vendors to print invitations, so plan accordingly. If you're sending digital invitations, you can start the distribution process 2 months before the wedding.
• Label the invitations: Once you have the printed invitations, start labelling them immediately. If you plan to use a calligrapher, inform them beforehand so they can begin working on it. Alternatively, you can use premade calligraphy-style stickers.
• Consider invitation gifts: Many couples now include gifts or sweets with their wedding invitations. Order your gift hampers along with your invitations to ensure they arrive together. If you're including perishable items like edible gifts, remember to order them closer to your distribution date.
• Categorise the invitations for distribution: Sort your invitations into categories such as "to be mailed", "to be hand-delivered by immediate family", "to be hand-delivered by other family members", and "to be hand-delivered by friends".
• Start assembling your invitations: Place the invitation card face-up, followed by a tissue paper or vellum overlay (optional), the reception card (if applicable), and any additional enclosure cards such as maps or accommodation information. Finally, add the RSVP card under the flap of the reply envelope, also face-up.
• Prepare the envelopes: Ensure that the envelopes are properly addressed and have sufficient postage. If using two envelopes (inner and outer), insert the assembled invitation into the inner envelope first, then into the outer envelope. If using a single envelope, insert the assembled invitation directly into it. The invitation should be facing up so that guests can read the text as soon as they open the envelope.
• Secure the envelopes: Instead of licking the adhesive liner, use a cotton swab or paintbrush to moisten the envelope adhesive. For bulky invitations or envelopes that won't stay shut, use a heavy book or paperweight to reinforce the closure, or opt for additional adhesives like glue sticks or double-sided tape.
• Proofread and double-check: Before sending out your invitations, proofread all the details, including dates, times, venue information, and guests' names and addresses. It's essential to ensure there are no errors or stains on the invitations.
• Calculate postage: Take a fully assembled invitation to the post office to have it weighed, as wedding invitations with multiple enclosure cards may require more postage than a standard stamp. This will help you determine the exact amount of postage required for each invitation.

Frequently asked questions