Bridesmaids And Bachelorette Housing: Who Pays?

Planning a wedding is an expensive affair, not just for the couple but also for the guests. The bridal party, in particular, often has to shell out a significant amount of money. While close friends and family are usually happy to do so, how much is too much to ask? Brides should consider how much they are expected to spend to help cover the costs of their bridal party. This includes the cost of bridesmaids' dresses, travel, and accommodation, as well as any pre-wedding events such as the bachelorette party.

So, who should pay for the bachelorette party housing? The simple answer is that everyone is expected to contribute to the costs. However, the complicated answer is that not all costs should be split equally. Traditionally, the maid of honor and bridesmaids pay for their own travel expenses while splitting all accommodation costs equally. If the bachelorette party is a local event, the bridesmaids and any other invited guests are expected to pay for their share of the bill, plus the bride's expenses, such as dinner, drinks, and other activities. For destination bachelorette parties, the host and guests usually pay for their own costs, but not the bride's. The bride typically covers her airfare and her share of the lodging, and may even chip in to help alleviate the financial burden on her guests.

Bridesmaids' travel expenses

Planning a bachelorette party can be a lot of fun, but it's also a financial commitment for everyone involved. So, what are the bridesmaids expected to pay for?

Travel Expenses

Bridesmaids are usually expected to cover their own travel expenses to and from the bachelorette party. This includes flights, train tickets, gas mileage, or any other transportation costs. If you're driving and will be carpooling with other bridesmaids, it's a nice gesture to split the gas across the group and exclude the bride if you can.

Accommodation Costs

Accommodation costs, such as hotel rooms or Airbnb fees, are typically split equally among the bridesmaids and any other guests. The bride's portion is usually covered by the group as well, although this is not a strict requirement. It's important to have open and honest communication with the bride and the rest of the group to determine everyone's comfort level with the expenses.

Food and Drinks

Each bridesmaid is generally responsible for covering the cost of their own food and drinks during the trip. When it comes to the bride's meals and drinks, the group may choose to treat her as a special gesture. This can be done by splitting her check across the entire group or taking turns paying for her meal or drink throughout the weekend.

Activities and Entertainment

Activities and entertainment, such as spa days, concerts, or bar crawls, are typically paid for by each individual bridesmaid. However, it is common for the group to split the cost of the bride's activities and entertainment as a way to celebrate her. These expenses should be discussed and decided upon in advance to ensure everyone is comfortable with the financial commitment.

Decorations and Party Favors

The maid of honor usually takes the lead on decorations, party favors, and accessories, but these costs are typically split evenly among the bridesmaids and any other guests. It's important to communicate with the group and decide on a budget that everyone is comfortable with to avoid any financial strain.

Managing the Budget

To streamline the process, it's recommended to designate one person, usually the maid of honor, to manage the budget and keep track of all expenses. This person can book the big-ticket items, like accommodation and activities, and then be reimbursed by the group. Apps like Splitwise and Venmo can be useful for tracking and splitting expenses.

While there are general guidelines, every group is different, and it's important to communicate and find a solution that works for everyone. Being transparent about financial commitments and having open conversations about budgets will help ensure that everyone is comfortable and that the focus remains on celebrating the bride.

Food and drinks

When it comes to food and drinks, there are a few options for how to handle the costs. If you're staying in a shared accommodation, the host usually buys a few things for the group, such as rehydration drinks for hangovers, late-night snacks, and alcohol. The host may choose to cover these costs themselves, ask everyone (except the bride) to chip in, or request that everyone bring their own food and drinks.

For dining out and going to bars, everyone is typically expected to cover their own expenses, including the bride's meals and drinks. However, the bridesmaids and other guests may choose to treat the bride to dinner and drinks on one night.

If you're staying in and want to provide food and drinks for the group, there are a few options to consider. You can split the costs of food and drinks equally among the group, or you can request that everyone bring their own. It's also a good idea to designate at least two people to be in charge of the drinks and food, so that the responsibility doesn't fall on just one person.

• Build-your-own food bars: Taco bars, sandwich bars, or spring roll stations are a great way to cater to everyone's tastes and make cleanup easier.
• Charcuterie boards: Consider a trendy alternative like charcuterie cups or a grazing table with fruits, cheeses, bread, meats, and more.
• Cheese "cakes": Stack cheese wheels to create a savoury cake, using different types of cheese for each tier.
• Dips: Offer a variety of interesting and elevated dips, such as beet spreads, hummus options, or cheese-based dips.
• Bite-sized treats: Skewers or bite-sized portions are easy to eat and reduce dishwashing duties. Try tortellini salad skewers or caramelized pineapple and Havarti-honeydew stacks.
• Brunch cocktail station: Set up a Bloody Mary bar or offer mimosas with fruit puree and fresh juices.
• Canned cocktails: Prepackaged cocktails are a durable and convenient option.
• Jello shots: Elevate the typical jello shot by adding fresh fruit or infusing it with sparkling wine.
• Margaritas: Offer different flavours like spicy jalapeño or sweet watermelon.
• Sangria: Take wine to the next level by adding fresh fruit, brandy, triple sec, and citrus juices.
• Mocktails: Don't forget to offer non-alcoholic options like a Blood Orange and Sage Mocktail or an alcohol-free Mai Tai.
• Boozy ice cream: Check if you'll have access to a freezer and serve up some rosé, peanut butter, or cake-flavoured ice cream.
• Cookies: Ask a talented baker in the group to make cookies that resemble the bride-to-be, or buy premade sugar cookies and have a group activity where everyone decorates their own.
• Fondue: Heat up some cheese or chocolate sauce and provide bread, chips, vegetables, meats, or fruit for dipping.

Special experiences

Planning a bachelorette party is a fun task that requires careful consideration and creativity. Here are some special experiences and unique ideas to make the event memorable for the bride-to-be and her friends:

• Spa Day: Indulge in a serene spa day with the bride squad, including relaxing massages, luxurious treatments, DIY face masks, and essential oils.
• Wine Tasting: Host a sophisticated wine-tasting soirée with a selection of wines, cheeses, fruits, and hors d'oeuvres. Hire a sommelier or wine expert to educate the group about wine pairing and tasting techniques.
• Movie Night: Organise a movie night with the bride's favourite films or classic chick flicks. Create a cosy atmosphere with comfortable seating, popcorn, and movie snacks. Set up a DIY concession stand with candy and specialty drinks.
• Karaoke Night: Rent a private karaoke room or transform a space into a karaoke lounge. Let the bridesmaids showcase their performance skills and create an evening filled with laughter and musical memories.
• Themed Parties: Choose a theme that reflects the bride's personality, such as a 1920s Gatsby-inspired soirée, a tropical Hawaiian luau, or a '90s throwback party. Encourage guests to dress up and decorate the venue accordingly.
• Adventure and Excursions: For adventurous brides, consider activities like zip-lining, hiking, paddleboarding, kayaking, or surfing. Book a private guided tour catering to the group's fitness levels and interests, and include team-building activities like scavenger hunts.
• Weekend Getaways: Escape to a picturesque cabin in the mountains for a rejuvenating retreat. Spend time in nature, practice morning yoga, and enjoy picnics by the lake. Gather around a bonfire in the evenings for an intimate and cosy atmosphere.
• Destination Parties: Rent a beachfront villa or book a beach resort for a tropical beach getaway. Enjoy sunbathing, beach volleyball, and tropical cocktails. Plan a sunset cruise or organise a beach bonfire with live music and dancing.
• Makeup Masterclass: Hire a professional makeup artist to teach the group tips and tricks for creating stunning looks. Learn about contouring, smoky eyes, and flawless skin, and leave everyone feeling glamorous and confident.
• Cocktail-Making Class: Attend a mixology workshop to learn the art of crafting cocktails. Shake, stir, and garnish your way to becoming master mixologists. Learn about the history and science of cocktail-making, and organise a cocktail-making competition for added fun.
• Classy Tea Party: Host an elegant tea party with vintage teacups, delicate finger sandwiches, and an assortment of teas. Dress in chic attire and immerse yourselves in refinement and timeless charm.
• Arts and Crafts Session: Rent a studio space or hire an instructor for activities like pottery painting, jewellery making, or a group painting class. Let your inner artist shine and take home your masterpieces as mementos.
• Cooking Class: Enrol in a cooking school or hire a private chef to teach the group how to prepare exquisite dishes. Choose a cuisine the bride loves or explore new flavours together, from pasta-making to sushi rolling.

The bride's expenses

Local Bachelorette Parties:

If the bachelorette party is local and only includes a night out on the town, the bridesmaids and other guests are expected to cover the bride's expenses, such as dinner, drinks, and other activities. It is important to note that the bride's travel expenses, such as gas, tolls, or ridesharing costs, should also be considered and potentially covered by the bridal party.

Destination Bachelorette Parties:

For destination bachelorette parties that require travel and accommodations, the costs can become more nuanced. While the bride typically covers her airfare and share of the lodging, the bridal party may offer to contribute to her accommodation costs as a gesture of appreciation for their attendance. In some cases, the bride may even chip in to alleviate the financial burden on her guests.

Meals and Drinks:

During the bachelorette party, it is customary for the bridal party to treat the bride to meals and drinks. This can be done by splitting the bride's check across the entire group or by taking turns paying for her meals and drinks throughout the celebration.

Activities and Entertainment:

The bridal party is not expected to cover the bride's costs for activities and entertainment, but it is certainly a thoughtful gesture if they choose to do so. More expensive items, such as concert tickets, can be optional for the bridal party, and it is not mandatory to pay for these if they are outside the group's budget.

Transportation:

For bachelorette parties that require long-distance travel, the bridal party is not expected to cover the cost of the bride's transportation. However, for shorter distances or carpooling arrangements, it is considerate to split the gas cost among the group, excluding the bride if possible.

Decorations and Accessories:

The maid of honor typically takes charge of decorations, favors, and accessories for the bachelorette party. These costs are then split evenly among the bridal party, including the maid of honor and bridesmaids.

Communication and Budgeting:

It is essential to have open and honest communication about financial expectations and comfort levels. Discussing budgets anonymously through polls can help ensure everyone's comfort and set realistic expectations. The maid of honor often plays a crucial role in managing the budget and tracking expenses to ensure a smooth process.

In summary, while there are no set rules, the bride's expenses for a bachelorette party are typically covered through a combination of contributions from the bridal party, with adjustments made based on the specific circumstances and financial capabilities of those involved.

Maid of honour's role

The role of the maid of honour is to be the bride's right-hand woman and confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

Before the Wedding

The maid of honour is expected to:

• Support the bride and be there to listen to her ideas and provide suggestions and advice.
• Accompany the bride wedding dress shopping and to fittings.
• Lead the bridal party and be the point of contact for any questions or concerns.
• Assist with choosing the bridesmaids' dresses and ensure they are ordered on time, as well as coordinating hair and makeup appointments and travel and accommodation.
• Be a point of contact for guests and answer any questions they may have.
• Host or co-host the bridal shower.
• Plan the bachelorette party with the other bridesmaids.
• Keep an eye on the budget and check in with the bridal party about how much they can afford.
• Keep track of gifts received at the bridal shower so the bride can write thank-you notes.
• Prepare a wedding survival kit for the bridal party.
• Lend a hand with any DIY projects, such as addressing invitations or making centrepieces or favours.
• Prepare a speech for the reception.
• Help with the reception playlist.
• Offer to help with any last-minute tasks, such as packing for the honeymoon.

On the Wedding Day

The maid of honour is expected to:

• Get dressed with the bridal party and bride and help the bride get dressed.
• Act as a messenger between the couple if they are exchanging notes or gifts.
• Bring an emergency kit for the bride.
• Have all the vendors' contact information to hand.
• Keep the bride calm and ensure the day runs to schedule.
• Walk down the aisle before the flower girl and ring bearer.
• Arrange the bride's train and veil and hold her bouquet during the ceremony.
• Hold the groom's ring (in an opposite-sex wedding).
• Witness the signing of the marriage license.
• Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (optional).
• Enter the reception with the best man.
• Help the bride use the restroom if she needs assistance.
• Answer guests' questions and direct them.
• Dance with the best man.
• Ensure the bride stays stress-free and doesn't find out about any mini-crises.
• Give a speech.
• Make sure the bride eats and drinks enough.
• Collect wedding gifts if necessary.
• Tie up any loose ends, such as storing the wedding gown or freezing the top tier of the cake.

After the Wedding

The maid of honour can also help the couple after the wedding by checking in on their house, dog-sitting, or bringing over groceries.

Frequently asked questions