Should We Reschedule?": Navigating The Decision To Move Your Wedding Dat

Planning a wedding is a complex and often stressful task, and sometimes, despite all the effort, it becomes necessary to change the date. This could be due to illness, bereavement, financial difficulties, or even a global pandemic. While it can be a tricky and monumental task to rearrange a wedding, it doesn't have to be stressful. It's important to remember that this process must serve the couple, and if it stops serving them, they should stop doing it.

Communicate with your partner, guests and vendors

It is important to be on the same page as a couple and to communicate any changes with your guests and vendors. Wedding planner Elisabeth Kramer recommends making any changes to your wedding plans at least 60 days before the original date. This gives your guests time to change their plans, and you might avoid some vendor payments.

If you know you are postponing, it is important to tell your guests right away. Send a quick email or text to guests to let them know about the change of plans as soon as possible. You can also ask a few members from each side of the family, as well as some friends on both sides of the wedding party, to spread the word via text or phone call.

When you do reach out to your guests, it is a thoughtful gesture to include a personal note from you, your partner, and/or your family wishing your guests well. You can also add a line about "unanticipated damage from a recent storm" or "an illness in the family" if you would like to explain the reason for the change.

Update your wedding website with any new information, such as a change of date or venue, so that guests can stay as informed as possible. If you have already sent out invitations, you may want to request that guests RSVP again.

Remember that planning a wedding should serve you and your partner. If it stops serving you, stop doing it—at least for a little bit.

Decide whether to postpone or cancel

Deciding whether to postpone or cancel a wedding can be a tricky and stressful situation. Here are some factors to consider when making this decision:

Reasons for Postponing or Cancelling

The first step is to identify the reason why you are considering changing your wedding date. It could be due to illness, relationship issues, bereavement, financial difficulties, or even a worldwide pandemic. Understanding the reason can help you decide whether to postpone or cancel. For example, if you are facing financial difficulties, you may choose to cancel and have a smaller wedding at a later date. On the other hand, if your reason is related to an external factor, such as a pandemic, you may prefer to postpone and keep your original plans intact.

Vendor Contracts and Payments

Review your contracts with the venue and suppliers to understand the financial implications of changing the date. If you have already booked vendors and paid deposits, you may risk losing that money if you cancel. However, if you postpone, your vendors may be more flexible and willing to work with you to find a new date. Consider when your payments are due and whether you can afford to wait until closer to that date to make a decision.

Guest Considerations

Think about how your decision will impact your guests, especially those who need to travel or make special arrangements to attend your wedding. If you decide to postpone, do so with enough advance notice to give your guests time to adjust their plans. Communicate openly with your guests and be understanding if some are unable to attend on the new date. Remember that the more notice you give, the easier it will be for your guests to accommodate the change.

Personal Preferences and Circumstances

Ultimately, the decision to postpone or cancel is a personal one. Consider your own preferences and circumstances. Are you comfortable with a longer or shorter engagement? Do you have the time and energy to devote to wedding planning, or would you rather take a break from it? Discuss this with your partner and ensure you are on the same page.

Alternative Options

Before making a final decision, explore alternative options. For example, if the issue is related to accommodating your bridal party or guests, consider having an evening-only celebration for those who can't make it during the day. Or, if you have your heart set on a particular date, stick to it and understand that those who can attend will be there to celebrate with you.

Choose a new date, liaising with your venue

Changing your wedding date can be a tricky business, especially if you've already booked your venue and suppliers, and sent out your save-the-dates and invitations. However, it's not impossible, and sometimes it's inevitable.

Here's a step-by-step guide to choosing a new date, liaising with your venue:

Decide Whether to Postpone or Cancel

First, you need to decide whether to cancel the wedding entirely and then rebook later, or move the wedding to a different date. Changing the date is generally the easiest option, and your venue and suppliers will likely be more amenable to this. You may not even have to pay any fees for doing so, as long as they're free on the new date. If you cancel outright, you may lose all your deposits, and most venues and suppliers will keep your money.

Liaise with Your Venue

When choosing a new date, your venue should be your first port of call. Contact them to find a date that works for both of you. If you're changing the date at short notice, you may have to be flexible and choose a different day of the week, month, or even year than originally planned.

Be Prepared to Compromise

Keep in mind that some of your chosen suppliers may already be booked up on your new date. If this happens, you'll need to cancel their services and may lose your deposit. This is a risk you'll have to take when changing your wedding date.

Inform Your Employer

If you've booked time off work for your original wedding date, you'll need to reschedule. Inform your employer(s) of the change as soon as possible and politely ask if you can switch your time off to the new date. Most employers should be understanding, especially if there's a valid reason for the change, such as illness or bereavement.

Contact Your Wedding Insurer

If you have wedding insurance, inform your insurance company of the date change so that your policy will cover the correct dates. This is also a good time to check if you can claim back any money lost due to the date change, depending on the reason for the change.

Tell Your Wedding Party

Before sending out the official "change the date" announcement to your guests, let your wedding party know about the new date in person, if possible. Hopefully, everyone will still be available, but if not, you'll have to either find a new date that suits everyone or accept that someone special to you won't be able to attend.

Be Flexible

Remember that you might not be able to get your exact dream date, especially if you're changing the date at short notice. You may have to compromise and choose a different day of the week or a date outside your original desired season.

Get Excited!

Once all your guests have been informed and you've sorted out the logistics with your venue and suppliers, it's time to get excited about your new wedding date! While it may not be the original date you planned, the most important thing is that you're marrying the love of your life, and that's definitely something to celebrate!

Contact your suppliers

Contacting your suppliers is an important step in deciding whether to move your wedding date. Here are some detailed instructions to help you navigate this process:

Understand the implications of changing your wedding date:

Before making any decisions, it is crucial to understand the potential consequences of changing your wedding date. Review your contracts with each supplier to know their policies on date changes and any associated fees. Some suppliers may be amiable to changes without incurring any fees, especially if you are moving the date forward. However, others may require you to pay a rebooking fee or even forfeit your deposit. Understanding these implications will help you make an informed decision.

Assess the availability of your desired suppliers:

If you have specific suppliers that are important to you, such as a photographer, caterer, or band, check their availability for your new desired date. Remember that popular suppliers may get booked up quickly, especially during peak wedding season. Assess whether you can secure your desired suppliers for the new date and be prepared to make some tough choices if they are unavailable.

Communicate your intentions early:

Once you have decided on a potential new date, reach out to your suppliers as early as possible. Communicate your intentions and ask about their availability and policies for date changes. This will help you understand their flexibility and any potential costs associated with changing the date. The earlier you communicate your plans, the more accommodating your suppliers are likely to be, and the better your chances of securing their services for the new date.

Prioritize your most important suppliers:

If some of your desired suppliers are unavailable for the new date, you may need to prioritize. Decide which suppliers are most important to you and your partner and try to accommodate their availability. This may involve some compromise, but it will ensure that you have the suppliers that matter most to you on your special day.

Be prepared for changes and have backup options:

Understand that changing your wedding date may result in some of your original suppliers being unavailable. Have backup options in mind and be prepared to source replacement suppliers if needed. You can also ask your current suppliers for recommendations to help you find suitable alternatives. Remember that the wedding industry is a close-knit community, and they may be able to refer you to talented colleagues who can step in.

Finalize the new date and confirm with your suppliers:

Once you have decided on the new date and confirmed the availability of your venue and essential suppliers, finalize the date, and notify all your suppliers in writing. Get written confirmation of any changes to their services or payment schedules. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and reduce the risk of misunderstandings or last-minute surprises.

Changing your wedding date can be a challenging decision, but by following these steps and staying organized, you can effectively manage the process and secure the suppliers you need for your special day. Remember to stay flexible and communicate openly with your suppliers to increase your chances of a smooth transition to the new date.

Inform your employer

If you've already booked time off work for your wedding, you'll need to reschedule your holiday dates. Inform your employer(s) that you are changing your wedding date as soon as you can and ask if you can switch your time off to the new date. Most employers should be very understanding about it, especially if there's a "good" reason behind the change, such as illness or a bereavement in the family.

If you feel awkward about not inviting your employer to your wedding, you can fall back on the always useful "we have a limited guest list for budget reasons" or "it's going to be a pretty small wedding, so we're limiting it to family and close friends".

If you don't want to invite your employer, there's no etiquette rule requiring that you do so.

Frequently asked questions