Best Man: Asking A Girl, How-To Guide

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. The best man is expected to be by your side throughout the entire wedding process, from attending pre-wedding events and planning the bachelor party to providing support in the lead-up to the wedding day. So, how do you ask someone to take on this important role? While some opt for a simple and casual conversation, others go for a more creative approach. You could plan an activity you both enjoy, such as golfing or watching a football game, and pop the question during that. Gifts are also a popular way to propose to your best man, with options ranging from personalised prints and cards to whisky glasses and hip flasks. Ultimately, the most important thing is to choose someone you trust and who will be honoured to stand by your side on your big day.

Ask in person

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. It's a big job that involves supporting the groom during wedding planning, throwing the bachelor party, and standing next to them when they say their wedding vows. So, when asking someone to be your best man, you're essentially saying, "You're important to me, and I want you with me throughout this entire process."

Plan Around a Shared Interest or Activity

Consider planning your "best man" proposal around a shared interest or activity. For example, if you and your friend enjoy golfing together, you could ask her while enjoying a round of golf. Or, if you both love a particular football team, invite her over to watch a game and pop the question during halftime. Asking your friend to be your best man while engaging in a shared activity can make the moment more personal and special.

Lead the Conversation to the Topic

Start by steering the conversation towards your relationship and how much you appreciate your friend. Let her know that you've found the right person and that you would be honoured if she stood by your side on your big day. You could say something like, "You know I think I've found the right girl, and I would be so grateful to have you by my side as my best man. Will you do me the honour?"

Make it a Special Moment

Create a memorable moment by incorporating a gift or a card. You could give her a "best man" proposal gift, such as a personalised item or something related to a shared interest. For example, if you share a love for coffee, you could give her a personalised coffee mug. Or, if she's a wine connoisseur, consider a bottle of wine with a custom label that says, "Will you be my best man?"

Alternatively, you could express your feelings through a handwritten card. This allows you to dive into why this person is so meaningful to you and why you want her to be your best man. You could take a nostalgic approach and highlight your favourite memories together, making the moment even more heartfelt.

Keep it Simple and Direct

While you might be tempted to overthink it, sometimes the best approach is to just ask directly. A simple, straightforward question like, "Will you be my best man?" can be just as effective. Remember, your friend will likely care more about the fact that you asked than how you asked. So, if you're feeling nervous, it's okay to keep it low-key and casual.

Ask in a Private Setting

When asking someone to be your best man, it's generally a good idea to do it in a private setting. This allows you to have a heartfelt conversation without distractions. Whether it's over a cup of coffee, during a walk in the park, or at a quiet dinner, creating a comfortable and intimate atmosphere can make it easier to pop the question.

Make it personal

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. It's a way of saying, "You're important to me, and I want you with me throughout this entire process." The best man is expected to be by your side from the wedding planning to the bachelor party and, finally, when you say your wedding vows. So, how do you ask a girl to be your best man? Here are some ideas to make it personal:

Plan Around a Shared Interest

Your relationship with your best man likely runs deep, and there are probably hobbies or activities that you both enjoy. Asking your best man while engaging in these shared interests can make your request more personal. For example, if you and your best man often go golfing together, you could pop the question while enjoying a round of golf. Or, if you both love a particular football team, you could invite them over to watch a game and ask during halftime. Doing it this way adds a personal touch and makes the moment more memorable.

Get Them a Gift

You can give your soon-to-be best man a gift that says "Will you be my best man?" There are many creative ways to do this. For instance, you could get them a personalised t-shirt, golf balls, whisky glasses, or a hip flask. If you want to add a touch of humour, you could give them a "Will you be my best man?" telegram or a "Will you be my best man?" scratchcard. If you want to be more subtle, you could give them a gift that matches their interests, like a book or a nice bottle of whisky, and then ask the question verbally.

Write Them a Card or a Letter

If you're not great with emotional conversations, you can express your thoughts and feelings through a card or a letter. This approach gives you the opportunity to dive into why this person is so meaningful to you and why you want them to be your best man. You can take a nostalgic route and highlight your favourite memories together, or you can keep it light and straightforward. A card or letter is also a wonderful keepsake for your best man to remember the occasion.

Ask Them in Person

While it may be tempting to ask your best man over a text or a phone call, it's more meaningful to do it in person. It shows that you respect them and want to give them the attention they deserve. You can lead the conversation by first talking about your relationship and how much you appreciate them. Then, you can let them know that it would be an honour for you if they stood by your side as your best man.

Be straightforward

Asking someone to be your best man can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn't have to be. If you want to be straightforward about it, here are some ideas to help you pop the question:

Be Direct

Simply asking the question is a straightforward way to approach it. You can say something like, "Hey, I'm getting married, and I would be honoured if you would be my best man. Will you be my best man?" This direct approach lets your friend know how important they are to you and that you want them by your side on your big day.

Ask in Person

While you can certainly ask over a call or text, there is something special about asking in person. It adds a personal touch and shows that you value their presence and support. It also gives you a chance to celebrate together immediately after they say yes!

Create a Casual Setting

If you want to be straightforward but also set a nice atmosphere, consider creating a casual setting. Invite your friend over to hang out, and when the moment feels right, pop the question. You can keep it low-key and relaxed while still making it special.

Lead the Conversation

Start by talking about your relationship and how much you appreciate your friend. Let them know that you've found the right person and that you'd be honoured to have them by your side as your best man. This approach sets the tone and lets your friend know how much their presence means to you.

Combine With a Shared Activity

If you and your friend have a favourite activity you enjoy together, consider combining the question with that activity. For example, if you like golfing together, you can ask while out on the golf course. This approach adds a personal touch and makes the moment more memorable.

A Card and a Chat

If you're not great with emotional conversations but still want to be straightforward, consider writing your thoughts in a card. You can express why this person is meaningful to you and why you want them as your best man. After they read the card, you can have a chat and pop the question. This way, you get the best of both worlds – expressing your feelings clearly and having a direct conversation.

Remember, the most important thing is to let your friend know how much you value them and that you want their support on your wedding day. There's no need to overthink it – a straightforward approach can be just as meaningful and effective!

Consider their availability

When asking someone to be your best man, it's important to consider their availability. Being a best man is a big job and a big commitment. The best man is expected to participate in the entire wedding process, from attending all the pre-wedding events, to planning the bachelor party, to providing support to the soon-to-be married couple leading up to their wedding day.

Before asking someone to be your best man, think about what you'll be asking of them. Will you need them to spend their weekends helping you choose a wedding venue, negotiate with vendors, or run other wedding-related errands? If so, it might not be a good idea to ask your friend who just had a new baby and won't have the time or energy to devote to these tasks.

Even if you really want a certain friend to be your best man, you can still ask them, but you may need to lower your expectations. For example, they might not be able to run a lot of wedding-related errands with you, but they could meet with you once a month to go over logistics and see if there's anything they can help with when they have spare time.

The key is to consider the person's availability and what you're expecting from them before you ask, so that there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings later on. It's important to choose someone who you know will be able to support you throughout the entire wedding planning process and be there for you on your big day.

It's also worth noting that while it's traditional to ask in person, it's not always necessary to make a big production out of it. Some people prefer to keep it simple and just ask directly, especially when it comes to male friends. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how you want to ask, but considering their availability and what you'll be asking of them is key.

Include a gift

If you're unsure of how to ask a girl to be your best man, a gift can be a great way to do the talking for you. There are plenty of ""will you be my best man?" proposal gifts available that literally say "will you be my best man?" and can be personalised to your friend. For example, if you and your friend bond over coffee, a personalised coffee mug would be a great choice. If they're a wine lover, a bottle of Islay Single Malt or a wine glass could be a better option.

If you want to give a gift that ties back to your relationship, consider the activities you enjoy doing together. If you've been golfing buddies for years, you could give them a set of golf balls. If you're both obsessed with a particular football team, a football-themed gift would be a fun idea.

You could also give them a gift that relates to the wedding. For instance, if you've decided on your wedding suit styling, you could kit them out early by giving them a tie when you pop the question. If you want to give them something they can wear on the day, a set of cufflinks or a silk pocket square could be a good choice.

If you're looking for a more subtle gift, you could opt for something like a monogrammed glass or a hip flask. Or, if you want to add a bit of humour to your proposal, you could give them a "will you be my best man?" scratch card or a card that says "you'd rock it in a suit."

Remember, the most important thing is to choose a gift that feels personal and suits your friend's interests and personality.

Frequently asked questions