Addressing Wedding Invites: A Step-By-Step Guide For Couples

Wedding invitations are a chance to make your guests feel welcome and respected. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, there are some general guidelines to follow when addressing wedding invitations. Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal and includes titles and full names, while the inner envelope is more casual and may include first names only. When addressing a married couple, it's best to include both names, and for unmarried couples living together, list each person on a separate line. When inviting a family, it's important to specify whether children are included. In general, it's best to avoid abbreviations and nicknames, and always use the most up-to-date information you have for your guests.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few general guidelines to follow. It's important to use full names and avoid nicknames or abbreviations. If the couple has the same last name, you can use the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the man's full name, or write out each person's first name. You can also use both the husband's and wife's first and last names if you prefer to address them equally. For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

Or

Thomas and Michelle Warren

If the couple has different last names, write out each full name with "Mr." or "Mrs." The names can be listed in the order of your preference, starting with the person you are closest to or in alphabetical order. For example:

Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt

If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used. For example:

Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer

When addressing a married couple with children, list the children's names in order of age below the parents' names. If the children are over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitation.

It's also important to consider any distinguished titles held by either partner when addressing the invitation. For example, if one partner is a doctor, list the doctor first, regardless of gender. You can choose to spell out "Doctor" or use the abbreviation "Dr.". If both partners are doctors, you can address them as "The Doctors" followed by their last name.

For outer envelopes, use the appropriate titles and full names. For inner envelopes, you can be less formal and use titles and last names or first names only, especially if you are very close to the couple.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to know that invitations are usually sent to each guest separately. However, if the unmarried couple lives together, their names can be included on the same invitation.

For the outer envelope, the general format is to list the couple's names on separate lines, with the person you are closest to, or the woman, listed first. If you are equally close to both guests, alphabetical order is also acceptable.

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

Alternatively, you can list both names on the same line, again with the person you are closest to, or the woman, listed first. If you are equally close to both, alphabetical order is also acceptable.

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

For the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names, or just first names if you are close with the couple.

> Ms. Green and Mr. Geller

> Rachel and Ross

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the guest's preferred title and full name should be used. If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to leave it out altogether.

For a single female guest, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, "Miss" is more acceptable. The title should be spelled out, not abbreviated.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen

On the inner envelope: Ms. Chen

For a single male guest, use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is younger, no title is necessary.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery

On the inner envelope: Mr. Montgomery

If your guest identifies as non-binary, the honorific "Mx." is often used. If you are unsure, it is best to ask for their preference.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Mx. Courtney Andrews

If the guest is a widow, it is polite to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to be addressed as "Ms."

Examples:

Married name: Mrs. Olivia Yarrow

Husband's name: Mrs. Richard Yarrow

A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms.," depending on whether she goes by her married or maiden name.

Examples:

Married name: Mrs. Kristina Vasquez

Maiden name: Ms. Kristina Torres

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name.

Example:

The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor

If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name.

Example:

Father Damien Karras

When it comes to inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope is more formal and includes the guest's full name and address. The inner envelope is more informal and may include the guest's title and last name or just their first name.

Addressing a family

When addressing wedding invitations to a family, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether you want to be specific about who in the family is invited. If you don't want to call out individual family members, simply address the envelope to the entire family. For example, "The [Family Name]" or "Mr. & Mrs. [Parents' Names]".

If you do want to specify which family members are invited, write the names of each family member in list form, starting with the parents' names. List the invited children's names in order of age below the parents' names. Female children under the age of 18 should be addressed as "Miss". Here is an example:

"The [Family Name]

Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

[Children's Names]"

If the whole family is invited, use the family name or only the names of the parents on the outer envelope. Then, list the first names of all invited family members on the inner envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "The Simpson Family" or "Mr. & Mrs. Homer Simpson"

Inner envelope: "Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie"

If you are using double envelopes, remember to stay more formal with the outer envelope. The inner envelope is where you can address invitees more personally. Children's names will usually go on the inner envelope, unless they are not invited.

When addressing the parents, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For the inner envelope, you can shorten this to just the first names, e.g. "John and Emily".

If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are inviting a widow, reach out to a family member to ask if she prefers to use her married last name or her first name for the event. If you can't get this information, it is best to use her full name to be respectful.

Addressing people with distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, there are a few guidelines to follow. The outer envelope should be formal, including the recipient's full name and title. If a guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or member of the military, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title on the wedding invitation envelope.

Doctors:

• Outer envelope: "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood"
• If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially: "Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood"
• If both parties are doctors: "Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood"
• Inner envelope: "Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood" or "The Doctors Underwood"

Military Personnel:

• Outer envelope: "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly"
• If they both have military titles: "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy"
• Inner envelope: "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly" or "The Captains Kelly"

Lawyers:

• Outer envelope: "Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown"
• If both parties are attorneys: "Michelle Brown, Esq. and John Brown, Esq."
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Brown"

Judges:

• Outer envelope: "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez"
• Inner envelope: "Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez"

When addressing guests with distinguished titles, it is important to list the person with the title first, regardless of gender. If both guests have special titles of equal rank, you can list their names alphabetically. Additionally, it is always a good idea to double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before addressing the invitations.

Frequently asked questions