Guide To Addressing Wedding Invites: Formality And Etiquette

Wedding invitations are an important part of the wedding planning process. They inform guests about the event and set the tone for the celebration. When addressing wedding invitations, it is essential to use the correct titles, relationship status, and other specifics to ensure guests feel welcomed and respected. The traditional format includes an outer envelope with a formal address and an inner envelope with a more personalised invitation. This guide will cover the basics of how to address wedding invitations to avoid any confusion or offence.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few general rules to follow. It is important to use full names and avoid nicknames or abbreviations. If the couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's full name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Robert Belcher

You can also choose to address both partners equally by using both their first and last names:

> Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher

If the married couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference or whom you are closer to. The traditional format uses "Mrs." to indicate the woman's marital status:

> Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt

If one partner has a hyphenated name, their name is usually listed last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used:

> Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer

When addressing a married couple with children, the outer envelope should be addressed only to the parents, while the inner envelope lists the children's names underneath. If the children are under 18, girls can be addressed as "Miss":

> Mr. and Mrs. Michael Randall

> Carolyn, Julie, and William

If the couple has children over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitation:

> Ms. Sarah Franklin

> Mr. Asher Kaplan

When it comes to the inner envelope, you have the option to be more informal. You can use titles and last names or first names only, especially if you are very close to the couple. Here are some examples of inner envelope addressing etiquette for married couples:

For a couple with the same last name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Belcher

> Robert and Linda

For a couple with different last names:

> Mrs. Knope and Mr. Wyatt

> Leslie and Ben

For a couple with a hyphenated last name:

> Mr. Dwyer and Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer

> Andy and April

Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of the guests before addressing the wedding invitations.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, you have two options for how to format their names.

The first option is to list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. Using the example of an unmarried couple where the woman is your best friend and the man is her partner, this would look like:

> Outer envelope: Mr. Stanley Kim

> Inner envelope: Mr. Kim

>

> Outer envelope: Ms. Amanda Rhee

> Inner envelope: Ms. Rhee

The second option is to list both names on the same line, leading with the person you are closest to. If you are equally close to both, list the names in alphabetical order. Using the same example as above, this would look like:

> Outer envelope: Ms. Amanda Rhee and Mr. Stanley Kim

> Inner envelope: Ms. Rhee and Mr. Kim

If the unmarried couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used.

For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For example, Mr. James Montgomery. If the male guest is under 18, no title is necessary, and you can simply address them by their name.

For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For example, Ms. Stephanie Chen. If the female guest is under 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms." For example, Miss Donna-Jo Tanner.

For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name. For example, Mx. Courtney Andrews.

If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, it is best to know the name of the guest's date. If you do, include their name on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple. For example, Ms. Jessica Spano and Mr. Albert Clifford Slater. If you don't know the name of their date, simply write "and guest" after the invitee's full name. For example, Mr. Zachary Morris and guest.

When addressing the inner envelope, you can be less formal. You can either use titles and last names or just first names, especially if you are very close with the guest. For example, Ms. Spano and Mr. Slater, or Jessie and A.C.

Addressing a family

When addressing a family on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you want to invite the entire family, you can simply address the envelope to "The [Family Name]" or "Mr. & Mrs. [Parents' Names]".

If you only want to invite specific family members, it is customary to list their names in order of age, starting with the parents. Here is an example of how to address a family with two parents and three children under the age of 18:

> The [Family Name]

> Mr. and Mrs. [Father's Name] [Mother's Name]

> Mr. [Son's Name]

> Miss [Daughter's Name]

> Miss [Youngest Daughter's Name]

If the children are over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitations. In this case, you can use their full names or simply their first names on the inner envelope.

When addressing the envelopes, it is important to use the correct titles and be consistent with the level of formality. The outer envelope should be more formal, including full names and titles, while the inner envelope can be more casual, with first names only.

• If you are using double envelopes, the outer envelope should be more formal, while the inner envelope can be more casual.
• Include as much information as possible on the outer envelope, including full names, honorifics, and even middle names.
• Children's names are typically listed on the inner envelope, unless they are not invited.
• If you are inviting a married couple, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. Alternatively, you can use both spouses' first and last names.
• For unmarried couples living together, list each person's name on a separate line, starting with the person you are closest to.
• If you are inviting a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to use her married name or her first name followed by her married last name.
• For doctors or other professionals with distinguished titles, use their full title on the outer envelope and the abbreviated form on the inner envelope.

Addressing a guest with a plus-one

When addressing a guest with a plus-one, there are a few different approaches you can take. Firstly, it is important to note that you should only send one invitation, addressed to the person you are truly inviting. If you know the name of the plus-one, you can include them on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple. For example:

> Ms. Jessica Spano

> Mr. Albert Clifford Slater

If you do not know the name of the plus-one, you can simply write "and guest" after the name of the person you are inviting. Note that you do not need to capitalise "and" or "guest". For example:

> Mr. Zachary Morris and guest

For the inner envelope, you can drop the first name or use just the first name if you are very close to the guest. For example:

> Ms. Spano and Mr. Slater, or Jessie and A.C.

Alternatively, you can address the outer envelope to the guest and add a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus-one".

If you are using a more traditional invitation with an outer and inner envelope, the outer envelope should be formal, including the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out elements of the formal name format.

It is also worth noting that if you are having a casual wedding, you may be able to get away with a less formal addressing style, such as leaving off titles or just using first names. However, if you are unsure, it is generally better to err on the side of formality.

Frequently asked questions