Addressing Wedding Invites: A Guide For The Modern Couple

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to addressing envelopes. The traditional way to address a married couple with the same last name is to use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, this is increasingly seen as outdated, and many couples now prefer to list both names, either on the same line or separate lines. For married couples with different last names, simply write out both names with Mr. or Mrs. prefixes. The same format applies to same-sex couples, with appropriate prefixes. For unmarried couples living together, list both names and prefixes on one or two lines. When addressing a single person, use Mr. for men, Ms. for women, and Mx. for non-binary guests. If you're inviting a family, you can address the envelope to the whole family or list each family member's name separately.

Addressing a married couple with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, the outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and title. For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple is same-sex, either name can go first. An alternative format for the outer envelope is to include both individuals' full names, for example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

It is important to note that some modern women may not appreciate having their names left out or combined with their husband's. In such cases, it is advisable to use both individuals' full names on the outer envelope and address them separately on the inner envelope.

Addressing a married couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope should include both of their names, and you can choose to include their personal titles or not. If you opt to include titles, the woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name. Here is an example:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately:

> Ms. Maria Stevens

> Mr. David Estevez

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use just their personal titles and last names, or switch to using their first names. Here are some examples:

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez

> Maria and David

If the couple has children, there are a few additional considerations. If the children are under 18, the outer envelope is reserved for the parents' names, and each child's name is listed on the inner envelope. Boys don't need a title until they're 16, while girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe

> Inner envelope: Mr. John Smith, Ms. Jane Doe, Miss Emily Smith, Master Jackson Smith

If the children are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitations, especially if they don't live at home with their parents. In this case, you don't need to use titles, but you can if you prefer. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: Ms. Emily Smith

> Inner envelope: Ms. Smith

Remember, it's essential to respect the choices of individuals regarding their names and titles. Avoid assumptions and, if in doubt, don't hesitate to ask the couple how they would like to be addressed.

Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, the general consensus is that the wife's name should come first, followed by the husband's. The outer envelope should include both of their names and their respective titles. Here is an example:

> "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones"

The inner envelope can be more informal and include only their titles and last names or their first names:

> "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones" or "Michael and Mary"

It is worth noting that some people may prefer to use "Mrs." instead of "Ms." for a married woman, but "Ms." is generally considered more appropriate when addressing a woman with a hyphenated last name. If you are unsure of the couple's preference, it is always safe to use "Ms."

If the married couple has children, there are a few ways to include them on the invitation. If they are young, you may choose to omit their last names:

> "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe

> Greta and John"

If they are older, you may want to include their last names as well:

> "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith-Doe

> Greta and John Smith"

Alternatively, you can use a family title, such as:

> "The Smith-Doe Family"

When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, it is important to consider their preferences and what they may be most comfortable with. It is always a good idea to ask them beforehand if you are unsure.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is essential to list both names on the invitation, ensuring that the person you are closest to is listed first. If you are equally close to both guests, alphabetical order is recommended.

For the outer envelope, you can list the names on separate lines, with the guests' titles and surnames:

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

Alternatively, you can list both names on the same line, again with titles and surnames:

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

For the inner envelope, a less formal approach can be taken. You can use titles and surnames or opt for first names only, especially if you are very close to the couple:

> Ms. Green and Mr. Geller

> Rachel and Ross

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is recommended to send separate invitations to each guest.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it's important to use their full name and the appropriate title. Here are some guidelines to follow:

For a single female guest, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, use "Miss", spelling it out rather than abbreviating it. On the outer envelope, write "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" if she is under 18. On the inner envelope, you can use "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen", or just their first name, e.g., "Stephanie".

For a single male guest, use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is younger, no title is necessary. On the outer envelope, write "Mr. James Montgomery". On the inner envelope, you can use "Mr. Montgomery" or just their first name, e.g., "James".

If your guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx." If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to ask them. On the outer envelope, write "Mx. Courtney Andrews". On the inner envelope, you can use "Mx. Andrews" or their first name, e.g., "Courtney".

If you are inviting a widowed woman, it is polite to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows may also prefer "Ms.". On the outer envelope, write "Mrs. Olivia Yarrow" (using her married name) or "Mrs. Richard Yarrow" (using her husband's name). On the inner envelope, you can use "Mrs. Yarrow".

For a divorced woman, you can use either "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference. On the outer envelope, write "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway". On the inner envelope, you can use "Mrs. Lyon" or "Ms. Holloway".

When addressing a single person with a plus-one, it is preferable to know the name of the guest in advance. On the outer envelope, write the name of the person you are inviting first, followed by their plus-one, e.g., "Ms. Jessica Spano and Mr. Albert Clifford Slater". If you do not know the name of the plus-one, simply write "and guest" in lowercase, e.g., "Mr. Zachary Morris and guest". On the inner envelope, you can use just the first names, e.g., "Jessie and A.C." or "Mr. Morris and guest".

Frequently asked questions