Addressing Wedding Invites: Including Plus Ones Etiquette

Wedding invitations are important as they inform guests about the details of the celebration and set the tone for the event. One aspect of wedding planning that can be tricky is addressing invitations to guests who have been offered a plus one. It is important to be clear about who is invited, especially if children are involved. If you are inviting someone with a plus one and know the name of their date, it is best to send two separate invitations. If you do not know the name of their date, you can address the outer envelope to the primary invitee and include and Guest on the inner envelope. If you are using only one envelope, write the name of the primary invitee and and Guest on the front.

Addressing the outer envelope

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes in a wedding invitation. It contains the mailing address, postage, and return address. When addressing the outer envelope for a guest with a plus-one, there are a few options to consider:

Option 1:

If you know the name of the plus-one, the outer envelope can be addressed to both the primary invitee and their guest, including their personal titles and full names. For example, "Ms. Jessica Spano and Mr. Albert Clifford Slater". This option provides a more personalised touch and acknowledges both individuals.

Option 2:

If you are unsure of the name of the plus-one, you can simply address the outer envelope to the primary invitee and add a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation indicating that they are invited to bring a guest. For example, "Ms. Jessica Spano (You are invited to bring a plus-one)". This option provides flexibility for the guest while still maintaining the formality of the outer envelope.

Option 3:

Another approach is to address the outer envelope only to the primary invitee, without any mention of a plus-one. The inclusion of the plus-one can then be indicated on the inner envelope or in the invitation card itself. For example, "Ms. Jessica Spano (Outer envelope) and Ms. Spano and Guest (Inner envelope)". This option allows you to maintain a more concise and traditional outer envelope while still extending the invitation to a plus-one.

It is worth noting that the outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and personal title. This format is suitable for couples of all genders and relationship statuses while maintaining a traditional feel. If you prefer a more modern approach, you can forgo personal titles and use only first and last names. Always remember to double-check the preferred personal titles and names of your guests before finalising the addressing.

Addressing the inner envelope

The inner envelope of a wedding invitation is more informal than the outer envelope, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. If you're inviting a plus-one, try to find out their name and address and send them a separate invitation. If that's not possible, address the outer envelope to the primary invitee, with the inner envelope reading " [Name] and Guest". If you don't know whom they will be bringing, it's more personal to include that person's name on a separate line.

• If the guest is allowing someone to bring a casual date, write the friend's name and then "and Guest". For example, "Mr. Zachary Morris and guest".
• If the couple is in a relationship, list both guests by their full names. For example, "Ms. Susan Bunch and Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch".
• If you don't know the name of the plus-one, simply write "and guest" after your friend's name. For example, "Mr. Zachary Morris and guest".

The inner envelope is slightly more casual and frequently incorporates first names. If you're going for casual vibes and would like to use first names only, you have the option to do so.

Married couples

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. The outer envelope is generally more formal, while the inner envelope is more casual. For a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". However, modern alternatives include listing both first names, or addressing the couple with their individual first and last names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren", or "Thomas and Michelle Warren".

If the couple has different last names, their names are written on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, they can be listed separately. For instance, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

In the case of a spouse with a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope would be addressed as "Mr. [First Name] [Last Name] and Mr. [First Name] [Hyphenated Last Name]". For instance, "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft".

If one person in the couple is a doctor, the outer envelope would be addressed as "Doctor [Name] and Ms./Mr. [Name]". If both are doctors, the format is "The Doctors [Last Name]" or "Drs. [Names]".

When addressing married couples with distinguished titles, such as military personnel, judges, or clergy, the person with the title is listed first, regardless of gender. For example, "Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass", or "Captain Benjamin Pierce and Major Margaret Houlihan, US Army".

It is important to note that wedding invitation etiquette has evolved, and it is becoming more common to use first and last names only, without titles, especially for more casual weddings.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, if the couple lives together, both guests' full names – first and last – should be included on the invitation, even if you haven't met the significant other. It is considered rude to address the other person as "and guest" in this case. If you are unable to learn the other guest's name, then you may write "and guest" on the invitation.

Secondly, the format of the address depends on whether the couple has the same or different last names. If the couple has the same last name, their names can be listed together on one line, with the person you are closest to coming first. An example of this format is: "Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller".

If the couple has different last names, their names should be written on separate lines without the word "and". An example of this format is: "Mr. Ross Geller, Ms. Rachel Green".

The same rules apply for same-sex unmarried couples.

Finally, if the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest, with the significant other's name included on the inner envelope.

Guests with a plus-one

Wedding invitations are important as they inform your guests about the details of your wedding and also set the tone for the entire celebration. Finalising the guest list can be a challenging task, and knowing how to address everyone on your guest list is equally important. Here are some tips and guidelines for addressing guests with a plus-one:

Spouses, Fiancés, and Live-in Partners

Spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should always be invited. Even if you have never met them or they are not your favourite people, your guest is part of a package deal. This also includes the spouse or significant other of your ceremony officiant and both parents of ring bearers and flower girls.

Bridal Party

All members of the bridal party should receive a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their efforts and support. This applies regardless of their relationship status.

Additional Guests

If you are allowing one single guest outside the bridal party to bring a casual partner or friend, it is best to offer this to all single guests to avoid hurt feelings. However, if your budget does not allow for this, you should have clear and easily explainable criteria, such as only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person.

Invitations

If you are inviting someone with a plus-one and know the name of their date, it is best to send two separate invitations. If you do not know the name of their date, you can address the outer envelope to the primary invitee and include "and Guest" on the inner envelope. If you know the name of the guest, it is more personal to include their name on a separate line. Alternatively, you can include a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".

Seating Arrangements

When creating your seating plan, be mindful of the dynamic between solo guests and couples. Singles may feel uncomfortable being seated between a married couple or a PDA-heavy pair. Instead, seat them between outgoing and friendly couples with whom they are likely to get along, creating a more communal feel to the event.

Frequently asked questions