Addressing Wedding Invites: The Martha Stewart Way

Wedding invitations are an important part of the wedding planning process. They inform guests about the when and where of the celebration and also set the tone for the entire party. Since this is one of the first wedding-related details that guests will see, it's important to send them correctly. This includes knowing how to address wedding invitations properly, which can be more complex than you might think. From the level of formality to the use of titles and the inclusion of children, there are many considerations to keep in mind. Martha Stewart offers a comprehensive guide to addressing and mailing wedding invitations, ensuring that your invitations are expertly assembled and addressed.

When to send wedding invitations

When to send your wedding invitations is an important part of the planning process. It's recommended that you send your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This is considered the sweet spot, allowing your guests enough time to respond and helping you ensure that you will get a reliable headcount a week or two before the event.

If you're sending out save-the-dates, these typically go out three to four months before the wedding. However, if your guest list includes people from far-flung locations or you're planning a destination wedding, it's a good idea to send them out even earlier. Giving your guests more time to plan their attendance is always appreciated.

The timing of your wedding invitation send-out also depends on how soon you need an accurate headcount for the venue and caterers. If you're working with a tight deadline, you may need to send your invitations earlier than the recommended six to eight weeks.

It's a good idea to get organized about a month before your desired send-out date. This will give you enough time to prepare and assemble your invitations, as well as confirm guest addresses and spellings. If you plan to have your envelopes inscribed by a professional calligrapher, they will need to receive your envelopes at least two to three weeks in advance, and sometimes even earlier.

Remember, your wedding invitations are the first glimpse your guests will get of your big day, so it's worth taking the time to get them just right!

Assembling the invitation

The Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope includes all the information required by the postal service for successful delivery. It should have the full names of your guests, avoiding nicknames or initials. Use appropriate titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", or "Doctor". For married couples, address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name or both their full names. If the wife has kept her maiden name, list their names alphabetically. Spell out all words in the address, including "Street", "Post Office Box", and "Apartment". Also, write out city and state names, such as "Saint Paul, Minnesota". House numbers smaller than 20 should be spelled out as well.

The Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope should include the names of all invited guests in the household, including children whose names are omitted from the outer envelope. For a formal invitation, a boy under 13 can be addressed as "Master", while girls and young women under 18 are addressed as "Miss". The word "and" can be used to link the children's names, implying they are siblings. Insert the unsealed inner envelope into the outer envelope with the names facing the back flap.

Invitation and Enclosures:

Place the invitation at the bottom, print side up. You may include a sheet of tissue paper over it to prevent smearing. Stack other inserts such as a map, reception card, and reply card on top of the invitation, arranging them in order of size, with the smallest on top. The reply card should be placed under the flap of its envelope, which should be pre-printed with the mailing address and stamped. All enclosures should be printed using the same method and coordinating papers.

Postage and Handling:

Take a complete invitation to the post office to have it weighed, as many invitations require postage for at least two ounces. Ensure you have the correct postage for both the invitation and the reply card to avoid over or underpayment. You can also request hand-cancelling at the post office to prevent damage caused by machines.

Addressing married couples

When addressing married couples on wedding invitations, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, the guests' full names should be written on the outer envelope, with no nicknames or initials. The traditional form is to address married couples as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. However, it is also acceptable to list both spouses' full names.

If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, the names should be written in alphabetical order, for example, "Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith". In this case, the wife's name is written first, followed by "and", which implies marriage.

If the wife has a professional title, such as "Doctor", her name should be listed first, as in "Doctor Aharon and Mr. Gary Lawrence". If the husband is a doctor, the titles would appear as "Doctor and Mrs.". If both spouses are doctors, the envelope should be addressed to "The Doctors [Last Name]".

It is worth noting that the level of formality of your wedding may impact how you choose to address your invitations. For a more casual wedding, it is appropriate to let your personality shine through and be less formal in your wording.

Addressing couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to couples with different last names, the wife's name is traditionally written first, followed by her husband's. Connecting the couple's names with the word "and" implies marriage. If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, her name should appear first and be joined with her husband's name using "and".

For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". On the inner envelope, a more casual tone can be adopted: "Maria and David". If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.

If the couple is unmarried and living together, their names should be written on separate lines without the word "and". On the inner envelope, both can be addressed by their titles and respective last names.

It is important to note that modern women may have a strong aversion to having their names left out and lumped in with their husbands. In such cases, the outer envelope can be addressed as: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope can then be addressed as: "Thomas and Michelle".

Addressing guests with titles

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use titles and full names. Nicknames and initials are not appropriate. Here are some guidelines for addressing guests with different titles:

Married couples

Married couples are typically addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. It is also acceptable to list both full names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". If the wife has kept her maiden name, the names are written in alphabetical order, for example, "Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith".

Couples with different last names

When addressing couples with different last names, the female guest's name is usually written first, followed by the male guest's name. If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, "Ms." can be used. For unmarried couples living together, the names should be written on separate lines without the word "and".

Couples with professional titles

If one of the guests is a doctor, the invitation should be addressed accordingly. If the wife is a doctor, her full name comes first, for example, "Doctor Sally Carter and Mr. John Carter". If the husband is a doctor, the titles appear as "Doctor and Mrs.". If both are doctors, write "The Doctors" followed by the family name.

Guests with other professional titles

If one of the guests has a different professional title, such as a judge or a lieutenant, the wife's name is usually listed first. For example, "The Honorable Pamela Patel and Lieutenant Jonathan Patel, U.S. Navy".

Single guests

For a single woman, "Ms." or "Miss" is appropriate. If she is under 21, use "Miss". A single man is addressed as "Mr.".

Guests with suffixes

If a male guest's name has a suffix, such as "Jr." or "IV", this should be included in the address. For example, "Mr. Joseph Morales, Jr.".

Children

When addressing children on wedding invitations, the outer envelope should be addressed only to their parents. Children's names should appear on the inner envelope below their parents' names, in order of age, with the oldest first. Boys under the age of 13 are addressed as "Master", while girls and young women under 18 are called "Miss".

Frequently asked questions