Inviting Study Abroad Friends To Your Wedding

Planning a wedding is an exciting time, but it can also be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who to invite. This is especially true for friends you made while studying abroad. On the one hand, you may want to share your special day with these friends and celebrate your union in a beautiful destination. On the other hand, you may be concerned about the financial burden on your guests and the potential for a small turnout. So, how do you decide whether to invite your friends from study abroad to your wedding?

Should I pay for their travel expenses?

When it comes to destination weddings, it is not expected that the couple will pay for their guests' travel expenses. Guests are usually expected to pay for their own airfare and hotel rooms. However, it is considerate to provide guests with a range of accommodation options and to organise a shuttle to pick them up from the airport.

If you are inviting friends from abroad to your wedding, it is a good idea to give them plenty of notice so that they can start looking for deals on airfare. It is also considerate to host a welcome party and a morning-after brunch to fill the weekend with activities and guarantee your guests are happily busy. You could also pay for selected activities, like a group sailing trip, or transportation to and from the ceremony and reception sites.

If there is a very important guest who has no means of making it to the wedding, you may want to offer to pay for their travel expenses. However, this is certainly not expected or required, and guests should not assume that you will cover their costs.

If you are having a destination wedding, it is important to be understanding if some of your friends are unable to afford to attend. You could also consider having a smaller ceremony at your chosen location, followed by a larger reception celebration back home.

How many friends should I invite?

When deciding how many friends to invite to your wedding, there are a few factors to consider.

Firstly, it's important to determine your budget and your venue. The number of guests you can invite will depend on how much you are willing to spend and how many people your chosen venue can accommodate. The average wedding size in 2024 is around 145 guests, but this number can vary depending on your budget and venue.

Another factor to consider is the vibe you want for your wedding. If you want a small, intimate wedding, you may only invite a few close friends. If you want a larger, more extravagant wedding, you may invite more friends to create a festive atmosphere.

It's also worth noting that the percentage of invited guests who attend a wedding can vary. Expert wedding planners estimate that between 25-40% of invited guests may not be able to attend. Therefore, if you want to ensure a certain number of friends attend, you may need to invite a higher number.

Finally, when creating your guest list, it's important to be clear about who is invited and to consider any plus-ones. This will help you manage the number of guests and ensure that your friends feel included.

• Consider your relationship with your friends and how well they know you and your partner.
• Think about whether you would enjoy spending time with them outside of your wedding and if you will still be in touch in the future.
• Decide if you want to allow plus-ones for your friends, especially if they are in a serious relationship.
• Be mindful of your budget and the cost of food and invitations per guest.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to deciding how many friends to invite to your wedding. The most important thing is to create a guest list that feels right for you and your partner and fits within your budget and venue constraints.

What if my friends can't afford it?

If your friends can't afford to come to your wedding, there are a few things you can do to help them be there to celebrate with you. Firstly, give your guests ample time to plan and save. Send out save-the-dates at least six months in advance, and make sure all the travel details are outlined on your wedding website before sending out invitations at the 12-week mark. This will give your guests time to shop around for deals on airfare and accommodation.

You could also offer reasonably priced lodging options, such as reserving a house instead of hotel rooms so everyone can stay together at a more affordable price. If you can afford it, consider paying for one meal a day for your guests, or at least one meal during their stay, such as a welcome dinner or a lunch on the beach.

If you are inviting friends to be part of the wedding party, it is worth having an open and honest conversation about what they can afford. You could offer to pay for their dresses or accessories, or at least let them know about your plans as soon as possible so they can start budgeting.

If your friends are still unable to attend due to financial constraints, you could suggest a local night out with them, or ask them to read a speech on the day that has been prepared by someone who can't be there.

Remember, it is not unreasonable for your friends to decline your invitation if they are unable to afford it. A wedding is already an expensive occasion for guests (hen party/bachelorette party, outfit, hotel, gift), and adding mandatory travel on top of this can be unacceptable for some.

If you are unable to afford to go to a friend's wedding, be honest with them. A good friend will understand your financial situation and may even offer to help cover some of the costs. You could suggest a cheaper alternative for the hen/bachelorette party, or ask if you can contribute in another way, such as helping with the planning.

If you are determined to be there, look at ways to save money, such as sharing a room with other guests, or putting the expenses on a credit card and paying it off in instalments.

What if I can't afford to pay for their travel?

If you can't afford to pay for your friends' travel expenses for your wedding, that's okay! It's not expected or required that you do so. However, if you're planning a destination wedding or know that your friends will have to travel a long distance to attend, it's important to be understanding if they decline the invitation due to financial constraints. Here are some things to keep in mind and steps you can take to handle the situation gracefully:

Communicate Early and Often

It's important to give your friends ample time to plan and save for the trip if they want to attend. Send out save-the-dates and invitations as early as possible, and be transparent about the expected costs. This will help your friends make informed decisions about their attendance.

Offer Alternative Accommodations

While you're not obligated to pay for their travel or accommodation, you can help ease the financial burden by offering alternative options. Suggest budget-friendly hotels or Airbnbs, or even offer to let them stay with you or other friends/family members to reduce their costs. You can also provide them with information on local transportation options and estimate those costs for them.

Be Understanding of Their Decision

If your friends ultimately decide they can't afford to attend your wedding, try to be understanding and respectful of their decision. Remember that their absence doesn't mean they care about you any less, and they may be saving that money for other important financial goals or obligations. You can suggest alternative ways for them to celebrate with you, such as having a special dinner when you're back or even hosting a small celebration with them before you leave.

Offer to Help, But Respect Their Decision

If you are in a position to help financially and truly want your friend to be there, you can consider offering to pay for a portion of their travel expenses or accommodation. However, be mindful that some people may not feel comfortable accepting financial assistance, so be respectful of their decision if they decline. You can say something like, "I understand if you're not comfortable with this, but I really want you there, and I'm happy to help with the costs if that's what's holding you back."

Plan a Post-Wedding Celebration

If you have a lot of friends who can't make it due to financial constraints, consider planning a post-wedding celebration when you return. This could be a more casual get-together, such as a cocktail party or a backyard barbecue, where people can offer their congratulations without having incurred the costs of attending the wedding.

Remember, while it's wonderful to have your friends there to celebrate with you, their presence doesn't define the success of your wedding. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you're surrounded by love and support, whether that's in person or in spirit!

What information should I include on the invitation?

When inviting friends from study abroad to your wedding, it's important to provide clear and detailed information to ensure their attendance and a smooth planning process. Here is the information you should include in your invitation:

The Invitation Itself:

• The names of the hosts (usually the people paying for the event). If your parents are contributing financially, their names should be included.
• An invitational line, such as "Request the Pleasure of Your Company" or "Invite You to Celebrate the Marriage of".
• The names of the couple getting married. Traditionally, for heterosexual couples, the woman's name goes first, but you can order the names alphabetically, by age, or however you prefer. LGBTQIA+ couples can also choose the order that feels right for them.
• The date and time of the ceremony. It is best to write out the time (e.g., four o'clock in the afternoon) instead of using numerals.
• The ceremony and reception location(s), including the name and address of each venue. If the ceremony and reception are at the same place, you can add "Reception to Follow" or "Celebration to Follow".
• Dress code or attire expectations (optional).

Insert Cards:

• RSVP card with a deadline and a place for guests to write their names. If offering a plated dinner, include a place for guests to indicate their entrée preference.
• A separate reception card with the start time and address if the reception is at a different location.
• A card with extra information about the venue, such as parking instructions or a custom map of the area.
• Accommodations card with hotel recommendations or information about room blocks.
• Directions card with clear and legible fonts. You can also include a custom weekend map.
• Weekend events card with a full itinerary, especially if your wedding spans multiple days and includes activities like welcome drinks or a day-after brunch.
• A card with your wedding website address, where guests can find additional details like accommodations and registry information.

The Envelope:

• The names of the guests with their preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, or the gender-neutral Mx.).
• The guests' address.
• Your return address on the back flap of the outer envelope and on the front of the reply card envelope.
• Appropriate postage, considering the weight of the invitation bundle.

Frequently asked questions