Rhiannon Hendricks
When it comes to addressing your parents on your wedding invitations, it can be tricky to know the best way to do it, especially if you're aiming for a particular tone or level of formality. The way you address your parents on your wedding invitations often depends on your relationship with them and the dynamic of your family. For example, if your parents are contributing financially to your wedding, it's traditional to include their names at the top of the invitation. In this case, you would use their first names, followed by their surname(s). If one set of parents is paying, you would put their names first, followed by their child and the other person's name. If both sets of parents are contributing, you can include all four names at the top of the invitation.
However, if you're paying for the wedding yourself, you might want to avoid the formality of using Mr. and Mrs. and instead opt for something more casual, like Mum and Dad. Ultimately, the way you address your parents on your wedding invitations is a personal choice, and you should go with whatever feels most comfortable and natural to you.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Formality | Formal or Informal |
| Titles | Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Mx, Dr, Reverend, etc. |
| Full Names | First and Last Name |
| Nicknames | Mum, Dad, Pops, Mumma, etc. |
What You'll Learn
Formal vs informal
When it comes to addressing parents on wedding invitations, there are a few things to consider, such as the formality of the event, your relationship with your parents, and the wording you typically use when speaking to them. Here are some tips on how to address your parents formally and informally on your wedding invitations:
Formal Addressing:
If you're having a formal wedding or simply want to maintain a traditional tone in your invitations, here are some suggestions:
- Use formal titles and surnames: On the outer envelope, you can address your parents as "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by their surname. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." This format is considered foolproof and works for couples of all genders, even if they have different surnames.
- Include middle names or initials: Traditionally, middle names or initials were included in formal invitations. For example, "Mr. Johnathan M. Smith and Mrs. Emily R. Smith."
- Consider using "Mother" and "Father": If you want to be respectful and formal but feel uncomfortable using "Mr." and "Mrs.," you can use "Mother" and "Father" as more affectionate alternatives.
Informal Addressing:
If you prefer a more casual and intimate tone that reflects your close relationship with your parents, here are some ideas:
- Use "Mom" and "Dad": If this is how you usually address your parents, there's no need to change it for the invitations. It may feel more natural and heartfelt to use these familiar terms.
- Opt for nicknames: If you have affectionate nicknames for your parents, such as "Mumma" or "Pops," feel free to use them. It adds a personal touch to the invitations and reflects your unique relationship.
- Go with first names: Using just your parents' first names is also an option, especially if that's how you typically address them. This approach can make the invitation feel more casual and friendly.
Ultimately, the decision on how to address your parents' invitations depends on your personal preference and the tone you want to set for your wedding. Remember, there are no hard and fast rules, so choose the wording that feels most comfortable and authentic to you.
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Parents' marital status
When it comes to addressing parents in wedding invitations, the appropriate wording depends on the parents' marital status, as well as the couple's relationship with their parents. Here are some guidelines to follow when addressing parents with different marital statuses:
Divorced Parents:
If the bride or groom's parents are divorced and not remarried, the invitation can be worded as follows:
> Ms. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name]
> Mr. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]
> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter/son
> [Bride/Groom's Name]
Divorced and Remarried Parents:
If either set of parents is divorced and remarried, the invitation can include the step-parents' names:
> Mr. and Mrs. [Step-father's First Name] [Mother's Last Name]
> Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]
> request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter/son
> [Bride/Groom's Name]
Married Parents with Different Last Names:
In the case where the bride or groom's parents are married but have different last names, it is appropriate to list their names on the same line, indicating that they are a couple:
> Ms. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name] and Mr. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]
> request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter/son
> [Bride/Groom's Name]
Alternatively, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." instead of "Ms." if the mother prefers those titles. However, be mindful that some women may prefer "Ms." regardless of their marital status to avoid being defined by their marital status or availability.
Widow or Widower:
If one of the parents is deceased, the invitation can be worded as follows:
> [Deceased Parent's Name], daughter/son of the late [Deceased Parent's Name] and Mrs./Mr. [Surviving Parent's Name]
> request the honour of your presence at their wedding
Couple Hosting with their Families:
If the couple is hosting the wedding with the support of their families, the invitation can be worded as follows:
> Together with their families
> [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name]
> request the pleasure of your company at their wedding
Remember, the most important consideration is to honour your parents' contributions and respect their preferences when addressing them on your wedding invitations.
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Including children
When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many unique situations that couples may need to navigate, such as including children on the invites. Here are some tips and suggestions for addressing wedding invitations when you want to include children:
Traditional Approach:
The traditional way to include children on wedding invitations is to list their names on the inner envelope but not the outer one. The outer envelope can be addressed to the parents, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," and the inner envelope can include the children's names: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Peter, Paul, and Mary." This approach is suitable for children under 18, while adult children (18 and older) should receive their own invitations.
Clarify Who is Invited:
When inviting an entire family, it is important to make it clear who is included to avoid any confusion. If you are having a black-tie event, include honorifics for each family member on the inner envelope. Additionally, remember that any family member over 18, even if they live in the same household, should receive their own invitation.
Be Direct About Adults-Only Weddings:
If you choose to have an adults-only wedding, it is essential to communicate this clearly and directly to your guests. Address the outer envelope to the couple, and if you have any inclusions like a reception card, specify "Adults-Only Reception" or "Our wedding is adult-only, thank you." Being explicit from the start reduces the chance of families misunderstanding and showing up with their children.
Inviting Select Children:
It is acceptable to invite some children to your wedding, especially if you are footing the bill. Create a rule and stick to it, such as only inviting immediate family members' children. If you invite the kids of immediate family, extend this rule to all families in that category, including both the bride's and groom's sides.
Other Considerations:
When including children in your wedding, there are a few other things to keep in mind. If you have flower girls or ring bearers, it is customary to invite them to the reception as well, as they are part of the wedding party. Additionally, consider having a separate kids' menu with child-friendly food options and providing quiet distractions like coloring books during the ceremony to keep them entertained.
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Deceased parents
Honouring a deceased parent on a wedding invitation is a beautiful way to include their memory on your special day. Here are some ways to address deceased parents on your wedding invitations:
Formal Wording
If you are having a traditional wedding, a formal invitation is a good option. This example shows how to word the invitation when the bride's father has passed away:
> Mrs. Sharon Henderson
>
> and the late Mr. Nathan Henderson
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their daughter
>
> Preston John Brackman
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> Dripping Springs, Texas
For a same-sex wedding with two brides, simply swap "daughter" for "son". If the bride's mother has passed away, the father's name should be listed first, followed by "and the late" and the mother's name.
> Mr. and Mrs. Jay Courier
>
> Mrs. Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their children
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 912 Sixth Street South
>
> Minneapolis, Minnesota
Informal Wording
If you prefer a less formal tone, you can still include your deceased parent(s) in a meaningful way. Here is an example:
> Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma
>
> along with their families and friends
>
> invite you to the celebration of their marriage
>
> on Saturday, July 21st, 2024, at 6:00 pm
>
> Bluxome Street Winery
>
> San Francisco, California
Single Parent or Widow/Widower
If you only wish to include one surviving parent or step-parent, here is an example of how to word the invitation:
> Mrs. Angela Eldridge
>
> requests the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her daughter
>
> Trevor Patrick Everett
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 1982 North Bay Avenue
Honouring Deceased Parents
Including deceased parents on your wedding invitation is a personal choice. Some couples may prefer to honour their memory through other means, such as a wedding programme or a sign displaying the bridal party. Ultimately, it is your wedding, so do what feels right for you and your partner.
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Host and payer
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to consider who is hosting and paying for the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's father would finance the wedding, but nowadays, it is common for any combination of family members to split the cost. If the parents are funding the wedding, it is customary to word the invitation to reflect this.
If one set of parents is paying, the standard format is to put their names first, followed by their child (whether the bride or groom), and then the other person's name. For example:
> John and Elsa Bourke
> request the pleasure of your company
> to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
> [son of Michael and Jessica Kane]
If both sets of parents are contributing financially and co-hosting, both sets of parents' names can be included at the top of the invitation:
> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning and Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Scott Cullen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children
> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning together with Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Timothy Cullen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children
> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning and Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Timothy Cullen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children
If you are paying for your own wedding, you may want to avoid offending sensitive family members by using a more neutral phrasing such as:
> Together with their families
> [bride's name] and [groom's name]
> request the honour of your presence/company
Ultimately, the way you address your parents on your wedding invitations depends on your relationship with them and the level of formality you want to convey. Some people prefer to stick to traditional formalities, using titles like "Mr." and "Mrs." Others opt for a more casual approach, using terms of endearment like "Mum" and "Dad." If you're unsure, imagine yourself sitting in front of your parents and asking them to come to your wedding—how would you address them in that situation?
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended to use whatever terminology you normally use when addressing your parents in person. If you call them "Mum" and "Dad", it is best to use those names in the invitations as well. However, if you are uncomfortable with that level of informality, you can use their formal titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs."
Even if you are hand-delivering the invitations, it is still recommended to use formal titles on the outer envelope to ensure proper etiquette and avoid potential postal issues. For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or stick with the formal titles, whichever feels more comfortable for you.
In the case of divorced parents, it is customary to issue separate invitations for each parent. Use your mother's current surname, whether it is her maiden or married name. If your parents have remarried, you can include your step-parents' names as well, but this is not necessary if you prefer not to. Remember to list your mother's name before your father's, and put their names on separate lines without joining them with "and".
You can include the name of your deceased parent in the invitation to honour them. For example, you can write "daughter of John Bourke and the late Elsa Bourke". However, be sure that the wording does not imply that the deceased parent is hosting or co-hosting the wedding to avoid confusion.
