Wedding Shower Etiquette: Groom's Inclusion In Invitation

Planning a bridal shower can be a tricky affair, especially when it comes to the guest list and invitations. Traditionally, a bridal shower is a party for the bride, her bridal party, close friends, and female family members, but times are changing and it's becoming more common for grooms to be included in the celebrations.

If you're planning a bridal shower and want to include the groom, it's important to consider the guest of honour when sending out invitations. For a co-ed shower, be sure to add the groom's name so people know it's not a girls-only event. However, if the shower is only for the bride, avoid mentioning the groom as this may confuse guests.

Co-ed wedding showers

While bridal showers traditionally have a female-only guest list, many modern brides are choosing to host co-ed events that include the groom and other male relatives and friends. A wedding shower is when all sexes are included, and the party is held in honour of the couple.

Bubbles and Brews

Beer and champagne are the perfect celebratory drinks. You could offer local beers, sparkling wine, and a mimosa bar, along with a continental breakfast buffet or sandwiches, salads, and fruit. This theme is perfect for a brunch or lunchtime event.

Love is Brewing Coffee Theme

Offer a coffee bar with toppings, breakfast or brunch food, and mocha cakes or desserts. Send your guests home with small coffee packets as favours.

Stock the Bar

Instead of giving the bride a home-related gift, guests are asked to bring booze and barware so the couple can start their married life with a fully stocked bar.

Bon Voyage Shower

If the couple is more interested in experiences than physical gifts, ask your guests to bring items related to their honeymoon, such as sunglasses, luggage tags, travel guides, or even contribute to their airfare or activities.

Honey-Do Shower

Moving into your first house together after the wedding? Ask your guests to bring tools for home improvement, cookware, and cleaning products to ease the financial burden of merging homes.

Lawn and Garden-Centric Shower

Perfect for the outdoorsy couple, this shower includes outdoor tools and equipment, as well as items that elevate backyard entertaining. After the gift exchange, guests can participate in a barbecue or bonfire.

Around the Clock Shower

Each guest is assigned an hour of the day and chooses a gift that fits into that time frame. For example, a guest assigned to the early morning might bring a coffee maker, while a guest assigned to the evening might bring bed sheets.

Month of the Year Shower

Similar to the Around the Clock shower, but guests are assigned a month of the year and bring a gift related to that month. For example, beach towels and barbecue accessories for June, or blankets and snow shovels for December.

I Do BBQ

A casual, old-fashioned backyard barbecue where everyone spends the day eating, drinking cold drinks, and playing lawn games.

Love You a Brunch

Host a mid-morning brunch with waffles, frittatas, mimosas, and a Bloody Mary bar. This theme works for any time of year and can be held indoors or outdoors.

Taco 'Bout Love

Host a taco fiesta with a build-your-own taco bar, complete with tortillas, proteins, fresh veggies, toppings, and salsas.

Who to invite from the groom's side

When it comes to wedding showers, it's important to balance your wishes with being inclusive of others. While you may be inviting everyone you know to the festivities, your soon-to-be in-laws and their family and friends may not be as inclined to do the same. Here are some tips on who to invite from the groom's side to ensure a joyous celebration:

The Groom's Closest Female Relatives and Friends of the Family:

A good rule of thumb is to invite the groom's closest female relatives, such as his mother, sisters, aunts, and cousins. This is especially important if the groom's mother is co-hosting the wedding shower. It's a wonderful way to include them in the celebrations and make them feel welcomed into your family.

The Groom's Close Girlfriends:

If you're close with the groom's female friends, it's customary to include them in the wedding shower. They are an important part of the groom's life, and including them will add to the joy of the occasion.

The Groom's Family:

Although not customary, you can choose to have a co-ed wedding shower, especially if the happy couple lives away from their friends and family. In this case, the groom can bring whomever he wants to be a part of the celebration. This option depends on the hosts, the location, and the duration of the event.

The Groom's Side of the Wedding Party:

If the groom has male relatives or friends as part of his wedding party, they can be included in the wedding shower, especially if the bride wishes for a co-ed celebration. Inviting people with a meaningful connection to the couple is what's most important.

The Groom's Extended Family and Acquaintances:

If you're having a larger wedding shower or want to include more people from the groom's side, consider inviting his extended family and acquaintances, such as cousins, family friends, or neighbours. This can be a great way to bring both families together and create a well-rounded guest list that represents the couple's different social circles.

Remember, it's essential to discuss your guest list preferences with your partner and the wedding shower hosts. Be mindful of space, budget, and date constraints when deciding on the number of guests. Enjoy crafting your guest list and celebrating this momentous occasion with those you love!

When to send out invitations

When it comes to sending out invitations for any event, timing is crucial. Send them too early, and your invitees may forget about the event altogether; send them too late, and they may already have plans. So, when is the best time to send out wedding shower invitations?

Most sources agree that wedding shower invitations should be sent out between four and eight weeks before the event. This gives guests enough time to plan and make arrangements to attend without being too early. For an out-of-town event, invitations should be sent out a few months in advance to allow guests enough time to organise travel and accommodation. The RSVP deadline should be set at least two to three weeks before the event, giving the host time to prepare for the final headcount.

If you are inviting a mix of local and out-of-town guests, it is a good idea to send out invitations six to eight weeks in advance. This will give your out-of-town guests enough time to make the necessary arrangements, while still giving your local guests plenty of notice.

It is also worth considering the time of year when sending out invitations. For example, if your wedding shower is during a busy holiday period, you may want to send out invitations earlier to ensure your guests can attend.

Finally, don't forget to factor in the time it will take to address and post the invitations, if you are sending physical invitations. If you are sending electronic invitations, you may have a bit more flexibility with the timing.

What to include on the invitation

When it comes to what to include on the invitation, there are a few key things to remember. Firstly, it's important to highlight the guest of honour, which in this case would be the bride, and optionally, the groom if it's a co-ed shower. It's best to avoid mentioning the groom if the shower is only for the bride, as this may confuse guests.

Secondly, be sure to include the date, time, and location of the shower. It's a good idea to spell out the month and include the full address to avoid any confusion or mistakes.

Thirdly, provide RSVP details so guests know who to contact and when. This will help the host finalise details like catering and party favours.

Fourthly, include information about the host(s) of the shower. This is proper etiquette and will let guests know who to contact and thank once the festivities are over.

Finally, it's a nice touch to include the couple's wedding website or registry information so guests know where to look if they want to purchase a gift. If you'd rather not include this, you can always add a note requesting no gifts.

"Please join us for a bridal shower honouring [bride's name] and [groom's name]"

[Date], at [time]

[Address]

Hosted by [host's name]

Please RSVP to [host's name] by [date] at [phone number/email address]

For registry details, visit: [wedding website URL]

How to word the invitation

When it comes to the wording of your wedding shower invitation, there are a few key things to consider. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you craft the perfect invitation:

• Highlight the guest(s) of honour: Begin the invitation by honouring the bride, and if you're throwing a couples' shower, be sure to include the groom's name as well. For a formal bridal shower, consider a traditional opening such as, "Please join us for a bridal shower honouring [bride's name] and [groom's name]." For a more casual or light-hearted tone, you could say something like, "Before the Miss becomes a Mrs., let's shower [names] with love and good wishes."
• Specify the theme (if any): Including the theme, such as a tropical bash or a tea party, will help guests prepare appropriately and may influence their gift choices. For example, you could say, "You're invited to a garden-themed bridal shower to celebrate [bride's name] and [groom's name]."
• Include the date, time, and location: It is crucial to provide the full date, time, and address of the venue to avoid any confusion. You may also want to include directions and parking details, especially for out-of-town guests or those unfamiliar with the location. For instance, "Join us on Saturday, 16th July 2022, at 2:00 pm at The Garden House, 123 Green Street, Evergreen, EG1 4RT."
• Indicate the host(s): Don't forget to include the name(s) of the host(s) so that guests know whom to contact for any queries. A simple "Hosted by [name]" or "Hosted by the bridesmaids" will suffice.
• Provide RSVP instructions: Include an RSVP date about two weeks before the event, along with the name and contact information of the person guests should reach out to. For example, "Please RSVP to Emily by 1st July 2022 at [email protected] or 01234 567890."
• Include additional details: You may want to direct guests to the couple's wedding website for gift registry information or other relevant details. You can also include a note about dress code, such as "Dress code: Casual".

"Please join us for a bridal shower honouring Emma Johnson and Daniel Smith.

Join us for a fun-filled afternoon with games, food, and drinks!

Date: Saturday, 16th July 2022

Time: 2:00 pm

Location: The Garden House, 123 Green Street, Evergreen, EG1 4RT

Hosted by: Bridesmaids Sarah and Amanda

RSVP: Please RSVP by 2nd July to Sarah at [email protected] or 07890 654321

Dress code: Casual

For gift registry and more details, visit: www.emmadanielswedding.com"

Remember, you can adapt the wording to match the tone and style of your wedding shower, whether it's formal, casual, traditional, or modern. Feel free to add a personal touch to make your invitation unique and exciting!

Frequently asked questions