Franklin Dean
Wedding invitation cards are usually a combination of inner and outer envelopes. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. The general rule of thumb is to use the complete, formal name of your guest. Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations. If you're having a casual wedding, you can be less formal and leave out titles or use first names.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope | Formal |
| Inner envelope | Informal |
| Married couple, same last name | Mr. and Mrs. John and Samantha Rivera |
| Married couple, different last names | Ms. Celine Elgin and Mr. Aaron Triguiero |
| Married couple, one hyphenated last name | Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft |
| Unmarried couple | Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Ms. Celine Elgin |
| Single person | Ms. Ali Johnson |
| Single person with a plus one | Mx. Sam Li and Guest |
| Family with children under 18 | Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany and Mx. Kelly |
| Family with children over 18 | Ms. Audrey Abraham |
What You'll Learn
Addressing a married couple
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few different approaches you can take depending on your relationship with the couple and their marital names. Here are some options:
Married Couple with the Same Last Name
For a traditional approach, you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name, including his middle name if you know it. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Joseph Smith". This approach is quite old-fashioned and may be opposed by some women who prefer to have their names listed separately.
A more modern approach would be to list each partner separately, even if they share a last name. Use their appropriate titles ("Mr." or "Mrs.") and write out their full names. For instance, "Mr. Alejandro Hernandez and Mrs. Tatiana Hernandez". If you're close to the couple, you can also save space by writing "Mr. Alejandro and Mrs. Tatiana Hernandez".
If the husband and wife have different last names, simply list each partner separately with their full title and name. For example, "Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt".
Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name
If one partner has a hyphenated last name, their name is usually listed last. You can address them as "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer".
Same-Sex Married Couple
The same etiquette applies for same-sex couples as for heterosexual couples. List each partner with their appropriate title and full name, either on the same line or separate lines. For instance, "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton". If one partner has a hyphenated last name, their name is still listed last.
Married Couple with Distinguished Titles
If one or both partners have distinguished titles (e.g. doctors, military personnel, judges), the person with the title socially "outranks" the other and should be listed first, regardless of gender. For example, "Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies".
If both partners have the same distinguished title, such as doctors, you can make the title plural and list each partner's full name, e.g. "Doctors Monica and Alan Quartermaine".
Inner Envelope Addressing
The inner envelope is less formal and is optional. If you include it, you can use first names only, e.g. "Michael and Kim". You can also include the names of any invited children on the inner envelope, after their parents' names.
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple, the etiquette is slightly different from addressing an envelope to a married couple. Here are some guidelines to follow:
Outer Envelope
If the unmarried couple lives together, their names should be included on the outer envelope, with each name on a separate line. You can list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both. Here is an example:
Mr. Aaron Triguiero
Mr. Gabriel Reyes
Alternatively, you can list both names on the same line, again listing the person you are closest with first or going in alphabetical order if you are equally close:
Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee
Inner Envelope
For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use titles and last names or just first names, depending on how casual you want to be. Here are some examples:
Mr. Triguiero and Mr. Reyes
Stanley and Amanda
Contemporary vs Traditional
If you're going for a contemporary style, you can simply use the first and last names of the couple:
Ed and Kara
Carlos and Maria
For a more traditional approach, use titles and last names for both individuals:
Mr. Ed Parsons and Ms. Kara Porter
Mr. Carlos Hamilton and Ms. Maria Hamilton
Living Separately
If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, if you prefer to send a single invitation, address the outer envelope to the primary guest and include the other person's name on the inner envelope.
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Addressing a single person
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title. If they are over 18, "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women is appropriate. For those under 18, no title is necessary for men, while "Miss" is acceptable for women. However, it is worth noting that these are old-fashioned rules, and it is becoming more common to use "Mx." for those who identify as non-binary, or to simply address the invitation with the person's first and last name only.
If you are unsure of the person's preferred title, it is best to forgo the title altogether and use only their name. This is also a more modern approach that may be preferred by those who do not identify with traditional gender roles.
When addressing the outer envelope, it is customary to use the person's full name, including their personal title, if known and desired. For example, "Mr. George Constanza" or "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon". If the person is under 18, the outer envelope could simply read "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner".
The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format. For example, "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth". If the single person is being invited with a plus-one, you can indicate this on the inner envelope by writing "and Guest". For example, "Ms. Jessica Spano and Guest".
It is worth noting that if you are only sending one envelope, it is important to clearly state all invited parties on the front, including any plus-ones.
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Addressing a family
When addressing a wedding invitation to a family, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited or invite the whole family. If you want to be specific about who is invited, the parents' names should be listed first on the outer envelope, followed by the names of the invited children in order of age. Girls under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys under 18 do not need a title. For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson
> Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily
If you are inviting the whole family, you can use the family name or just the parents' names on the outer envelope:
> The Thompson Family
> or
> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson
On the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members:
> Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Lily
Alternatively, you can use a shorter wording option by including the parents' names followed by "and Family":
> Mr. John and Mrs. Sophia Smith and Family
If any children over the age of 18 do not live with their parents, they should receive their own invitations.
When addressing the envelopes, it is generally best to use full names and formal titles. However, for a more informal wedding, you may choose to leave out titles or use only first names.
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Addressing a person with a distinguished title
When addressing a wedding invitation to a guest with a distinguished title, it is considered proper etiquette to use their title. This includes titles such as doctors, lawyers, judges, military personnel, rabbis, and members of the clergy.
Married Couple, One With a Distinguished Title
If one person has a distinguished title, list them first on the outer envelope, followed by their partner's name.
Doctors
- Outer envelope: "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood"
- Inner envelope: "Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood"
If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially:
- Outer envelope: "Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood"
- Inner envelope: "The Doctors Underwood"
Military Personnel
- Outer envelope: "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly"
- Inner envelope: "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly"
Lawyers
- Outer envelope: "Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown"
- Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Brown"
Clergy
- Outer envelope: "Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass"
- Inner envelope: "Rabbi Glass and Mrs. Glass"
Judge
- Outer envelope: "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez"
- Inner envelope: "Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez"
Married Couple, Both With Distinguished Titles
If both partners have distinguished titles, the person with the higher-ranking title or the person you are closest with is listed first.
Doctors
- Outer envelope: "Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood"
- Inner envelope: "The Doctors Underwood"
Military Personnel
- Outer envelope: "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy"
- Inner envelope: "The Captains Kelly"
Clergy
- Outer envelope: "Reverend Margaret Jeffries and Colonel Peter Jefferies"
- Inner envelope: "Reverend and Colonel Jefferies"
Single Person With a Distinguished Title
The same rules apply for single people with distinguished titles.
Doctor
- Outer envelope: "Doctor Michaela Quinn"
- Inner envelope: "Doctor Quinn"
Military Personnel
- Outer envelope: "Major Margaret Houlihan, US Army"
- Inner envelope: "Major Houlihan"
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Frequently asked questions
For a married couple with the same last name, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. If you want to address them equally, you can use both their first and last names, e.g., "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Anna Smith." For couples with different last names, you can list their names separately, with either name coming first.
The person with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender. For example, "Dr. Tami Takata and Mr. David Estevez."
For a single woman, use "Ms." if she is over 18, and "Miss" if she is under 18. For a single man, use "Mr." if he is over 18, otherwise no title is needed. For non-binary individuals, the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name is appropriate.
If you know the name of the plus-one, include their name on the same line as your guest. If you don't know their name, simply write "and guest" after your guest's name, e.g., "Mr. Ross Geller and guest."
For unmarried couples living together, you have two options. You can list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines or list both names on the same line, starting with the person you are closest to. If they don't live together, send separate invitations to each individual.
