Best Man's Guide To Toasting The Bridesmaids

The best man's speech is a highly anticipated part of the wedding, and while it's a chance to be funny, it's also a chance to honour the newlyweds. While it's not required, it's common for the best man to thank the bridesmaids and comment on how they look. However, it's important to keep it classy and not veer into lewd or creepy territory. The best man should also be mindful of the bridesmaids' partners, who may be in the audience. Self-deprecating jokes are a good way to acknowledge the bridesmaids' beauty without objectifying them. In addition to thanking the bridesmaids, the best man traditionally thanks the groom for his kind words and gifts, and may also relay messages from absent friends and family.

The best man should thank the bridesmaids

The best man's speech is a daunting task, but there are a few key elements to include to ensure it's a success. Firstly, it's important to introduce yourself and thank the guests for coming. A good best man speech should also include funny (but not mean) stories about the groom, glowing words about the bride, and an upbeat conclusion.

When it comes to thanking the bridesmaids, it's essential to strike the right tone. While it's expected that you'll say something nice, it's important to keep your comments respectful and avoid objectifying the bridesmaids. Self-deprecating humour can work well here, as long as the focus is on you rather than the bridesmaids. For example, you could say something like:

> "How fantastic are our bridesmaids today? They look amazing, and they performed their role to perfection. As I was walking past them earlier, I heard them all talking about who will get to have the first dance with the best man later. 'You!' 'No, you!' 'No way!' It was all very touching. Not one of them wanted to see their friends miss out. At least, that's how I'm reading it."

Another option is to make the groom the focus of the joke, especially if he's a close friend or family member:

> "It's my job to pay compliments to the bridesmaids, and I'd love to be able to say how beautiful they all look today… but [groom's name] hasn't let me look at another woman since 1982, on pain of death, so the best I can do is hazard a guess. I'm sure you all look lovely… though not, I am obliged to add, as lovely as [groom's partner]."

If you want to keep it simple, a sincere "thank you for all your support" and "don't they look lovely?" will suffice. However, this is a great opportunity to inject some fun into your speech. Just remember to show respect and avoid anything that could be considered creepy or lecherous.

Keep it classy and complimentary

The best man's speech is a highlight of the wedding reception, and it's a chance to inject some fun and humour into the proceedings. However, it's important to keep things classy and complimentary, especially when it comes to the bridesmaids. Here are some tips to help you strike the right balance:

Choose your words carefully

When complimenting the bridesmaids, it's important to avoid objectification or lewd jokes. Opt for words like "beautiful" and "elegant" instead of "stunning" or "cute". Steer clear of commenting on their physical attributes, such as their legs or bust, as this can come across as lecherous. Respectful and refined are the tones to aim for. For example, you could say: "You all look magnificent, and you've performed your role to perfection. I'm sure the bride is grateful for all your support today and over the years of your friendship."

Make it about the bride

A great way to compliment the bridesmaids without crossing any lines is to shift the focus to the bride. You could say something like: "I'd like to thank the bridesmaids for their hard work and dedication to the bride. She is a lucky woman to have such wonderful friends by her side." This way, you're acknowledging the bridesmaids' role and contribution while keeping the attention on the bride, where it belongs.

Keep it brief and classy

When it comes to the bridesmaids, less is more. You don't want to dwell too much on their appearance, as this can make people uncomfortable. A brief and classy comment will suffice. For example: "The bridesmaids look absolutely wonderful, and I know the bride is grateful for their support. Now, let's raise a glass to the happy couple!"

Avoid objectification

It's important to remember that the bridesmaids are not there for your entertainment or as part of your personal harem. Avoid making jokes that objectify them or make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, opt for self-deprecating humour if you want to add a touch of levity to your speech. For example, you could say: "I'm sure the bridesmaids are all looking forward to dancing with me later. I can already feel the weight of their anticipation. But I promise to be on my best behaviour and not step on any toes, literally and figuratively!"

Be mindful of boundaries

As the best man, you have a responsibility to respect boundaries and not make anyone feel uncomfortable. If you're unsure whether a joke or comment is appropriate, it's best to leave it out. Remember, the goal is to create a positive and inclusive atmosphere where everyone can celebrate the happy couple without feeling embarrassed or disrespected.

Focus on the positive

Keep your speech positive and uplifting. This is not the time to air grievances or make passive-aggressive comments. If you have any issues with the bridesmaids or anyone else in the wedding party, now is not the time to bring them up. Focus on the love and happiness of the occasion, and leave any negative thoughts at the door.

In conclusion, when it comes to the best man's speech, it's important to keep things classy and complimentary, especially when it comes to the bridesmaids. Choose your words carefully, respect boundaries, and focus on celebrating the happy couple and their wonderful friends and family.

Make it funny, but not mean-spirited

The best man's speech should be both heartfelt and humorous. It should be under 10 minutes long, with a good mix of funny and serious content. Here are some tips for making it funny but not mean-spirited:

Avoid Inside Jokes

While it is fine to include a few inside jokes, ensure that the majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list. You don't want guests to feel left out or confused by your speech.

Don't Roast the Couple

Remember, this is a toast, not a roast. Be humorous but not cruel. You want the guests to laugh with you, not at the couple. Share funny stories and musings instead of retelling embarrassing stories about the bride or groom.

Include Funny (But Not Snarky) Stories About the Groom

These stories should be light-hearted and not mean-spirited. They should poke fun at non-important stuff and not mock his career or fundamental life choices. For example, you could talk about his fashion sense, dancing skills, childhood stories, cooking skills (or lack thereof), devotion to a sports team, etc.

Include Glowing Words About the Bride

This section can be challenging if you don't know the bride well. However, you can talk about how she "completes" the groom. Share a story or two about how they met and fell in love, and leverage these stories to showcase the bride's amazing qualities. Talk about her inner beauty, intelligence, humour, and any other wonderful qualities she possesses.

Have a Memorable Conclusion

Keep it short, simple, classy, warm, and upbeat. You could say something like, "To a lifetime of love and happiness" or "To a lifetime of joy, love, and fulfillment."

Be careful not to objectify the bridesmaids

While it is expected that the best man will thank the bridesmaids and comment on their appearance, it is important to be careful not to objectify them. Here are some tips to avoid doing so:

Firstly, be mindful of the language you use. Stick to general, non-specific comments about their beauty, elegance, and grace. Avoid words like "stunning", "cute", or "gorgeous", which can come across as objectifying. Steer clear of any comments about their physical attributes, such as their legs or bust, as this can be perceived as lecherous and inappropriate. Opt for refined and gentlemanly language to show your appreciation.

Secondly, keep your comments brief and classy. While you can acknowledge their beauty, it is important not to dwell on their appearance. You don't want to make the bridesmaids feel uncomfortable or reduce them to their looks. A simple and sincere expression of gratitude for their presence and support will suffice. For example, you can say something like, "I'd like to thank the bridesmaids for their hard work and dedication. You all look wonderful, and we truly appreciate your contribution to making this day so special."

Additionally, be mindful of the bridesmaids' relationships to the bride and groom. If one of the bridesmaids is a sister or a close relative, commenting on their appearance might be inappropriate and make some people feel uncomfortable. Similarly, if one of the bridesmaids is self-conscious about their looks, your comments might unintentionally cause embarrassment or self-consciousness. In such cases, it is better to focus on their role and support rather than their appearance.

Remember, the focus of your speech should be on the newlyweds and celebrating their love. While it is customary to acknowledge the bridal party, including the bridesmaids, keep your comments about their appearance tasteful, respectful, and brief. As a best man, your role is to add a touch of humour and sentiment to the celebration, not to objectify or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Keep it short and sweet

As best man, you might be wondering if it's necessary to include the bridesmaids in your wedding speech. While it's not a requirement, it can be a nice gesture to acknowledge their role in the wedding and thank them for their support. If you decide to mention the bridesmaids, here are some tips to keep your toast short and sweet:

Keep it Brief:

Limit your remarks about the bridesmaids to a few concise sentences. You don't need to go into lengthy descriptions or individual anecdotes. A short and sweet mention will suffice. For example, you could simply say, "I'd also like to thank the bridesmaids for all their help and support. They looked absolutely stunning today, and their presence added so much to this special occasion."

Express Gratitude:

Focus on thanking the bridesmaids for their contributions to the wedding. Acknowledge their efforts and let them know their participation was valued and appreciated. For example, "I want to extend a special thank you to the bridesmaids. Your dedication and support have been incredible, and this wedding wouldn't have been the same without your unique touch."

Compliment Their Roles:

Briefly mention how the bridesmaids enhanced the wedding with their presence. Compliment their choice of attire, their organizational skills, or any specific duties they performed that stood out. For instance, "The bridesmaids were absolutely fantastic, and they all looked so elegant today. Their attention to detail and unwavering support made this event truly memorable."

Optionally Include a Lighthearted Moment:

If you have a short, humorous anecdote or inside joke that involves the bridesmaids and is appropriate for the occasion, you could include it. However, be mindful of the length and ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the wedding. "I have to say, the bridesmaids really came through when we needed last-minute decorations. Who knew their late-night tissue paper flower-making skills would be so impressive? Thank you for saving the day!"

By keeping your remarks about the bridesmaids concise and heartfelt, you can acknowledge their importance while maintaining the flow of your speech. Remember, the focus of your toast is primarily on the newlyweds, so strike a balance by keeping this portion brief and meaningful.

Frequently asked questions