Bridesmaid Limit: How Many Are Too Many?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding how many bridesmaids to include in your bridal party. While there is no right or wrong number, it's important to consider your budget, venue size, and the dynamics of your social group. The average number of bridesmaids is typically between three and six, but the final decision is a personal choice and should be based on your closest friends, family, and other must-have attendants.

Budget

The cost of a bridesmaid can vary depending on the region, with bridesmaids on the west coast of the US paying an average of $1360 per wedding, while those in the Midwest pay around $1100. On average, the cost of being a bridesmaid is estimated to be $1200, but this figure is likely to be higher now.

• Her dress
• Her shoes, jewellery and other accessories (such as a clutch bag or hairpiece)
• Her flowers (bouquet and/or corsage)
• Her food throughout the day (canapes, wedding breakfast and reception buffet)
• A bridesmaid gift (to say thank you)
• Transportation to the venue, if your bridesmaids are getting ready with you

You may also be expected to pay for your bridesmaids' hair and makeup to be styled on the morning of the wedding, especially if you have a specific look in mind that you want them to achieve.

In addition to the costs of the wedding day itself, there are also pre-wedding events to consider. Bridesmaids are usually expected to throw the bride several different parties, including an engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party. These events can quickly add up, with about a third of bachelorette party-goers spending over $1000 on the event.

When deciding on the number of bridesmaids, it's important to consider the size of your venue. If you're getting married in a small space, you may not have room for a large bridal party. On the other hand, if you're getting married in a grand ballroom, a small number of bridesmaids may look out of place.

The formality of the wedding can also impact the number of bridesmaids. Very formal weddings typically have between 6 and 10 bridesmaids, while casual weddings often have just one or two.

Finally, don't forget to think about friendship dynamics when choosing your bridesmaids. You may have a certain number in mind, but consider whether leaving someone out will hurt their feelings. It's important to remember that being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and not everyone will be able to afford it. If you have a large group of friends, you may need to create a 'B-list' of people to ask in case your first choices are unable to accept.

Venue

When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, the most important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong number—it's completely up to you and your partner. That being said, there are a few things to consider when deciding on the number of bridesmaids you'll have, including the venue and space available.

The size and layout of your venue will play a significant role in determining the number of bridesmaids you can have. If you're getting married in an intimate setting like a small country hotel or a registry office, space may be limited. Consider how many people will be able to comfortably fit at the altar or in the front of the ceremony room. On the other hand, if you're getting married in a grand ballroom, having only one or two bridesmaids may look a bit odd. Think about the visual impact you want to create and how your wedding photos will look with a certain number of bridesmaids. Many brides prefer to have an even number of bridesmaids for symmetry in photos, but this is not a hard-and-fast rule.

When examining your venue, also consider the number of guests you plan to invite. A good rule of thumb is that the number of bridesmaids is typically proportional to the number of guests. For example, if you're having a formal wedding with 200 or more guests, you can have up to 12 attendants. On the other hand, if you're planning a small, intimate wedding with 100 guests or fewer, you may want to consider having fewer than five bridesmaids or even just a maid of honour.

In addition to the size of the venue and the number of guests, think about the atmosphere you want to create. A large number of bridesmaids may be more suitable for a very formal wedding, while a smaller number may be more appropriate for a casual or semi-formal wedding. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you can choose to have as many or as few bridesmaids as you like, regardless of the venue or level of formality.

Formality

The number of bridesmaids you choose to have at your wedding is entirely up to you. However, if you are looking for some guidance, the number of bridesmaids you should have can be influenced by the formality of your wedding.

Very formal weddings (black tie) typically have between 6 and 10 bridesmaids (occasionally up to 12), along with at least one flower girl and ring bearer/page boy. Semi-formal to formal weddings usually have somewhere between 2 and 6 bridesmaids. Meanwhile, casual weddings, elopements, and registry office weddings often have just one or two bridesmaids, but may have none at all.

If you are having a formal wedding with 200+ guests, you can have up to 12 attendants. If you are having a smaller, more intimate wedding or a less formal wedding, you would cut that number down proportionally.

However, these are just general guidelines, and you can have as many or as few bridesmaids as you like.

Friendship dynamics

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that you don't have to choose bridesmaids just because you feel obligated. Your wedding is a celebration of your love story, and your bridal party should consist of those who genuinely support your relationship. If you were a bridesmaid for someone years ago, or a friend is hinting at wanting to be in your bridal party, remember that you are under no obligation to include them in yours. It's your special day, and you get to decide who stands by your side.

Now, let's delve into the dynamics of your social circle. Deciding how many bridesmaids to have can be tricky when you have multiple close friends or siblings. For instance, if you have two sisters and three best friends, you may want to consider including all of them to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. On the other hand, you might opt for a smaller bridal party of just your sisters or just your friends. It's a delicate balance, and it's normal to worry about upsetting someone. If you decide to have fewer bridesmaids than expected, it's essential to communicate your decision sensitively and explain that it's not a reflection of your friendship.

Additionally, consider the personalities of your friends and how they will interact within the bridal party. It's ideal to have a cohesive group that gets along well, as this will make the planning process and the lead-up to your wedding more enjoyable and stress-free. If you know that certain friends may not mix well or have divergent personalities that could create tension, it's worth thinking about how to manage these dynamics. One way to foster harmony within the group is to create opportunities for social interaction outside of wedding planning, such as a lunch date or a casual get-together.

Finally, remember that being a bridesmaid comes with responsibilities and expenses. Your bridesmaids will likely be expected to attend pre-wedding events, provide emotional support, purchase specific attire and accessories, and potentially give a speech. When deciding on numbers, consider the depth of your relationships and choose people with whom you can confide and rely on, even after the wedding. It's also essential to be realistic about expectations and sensitive to the costs that your bridesmaids will incur.

In conclusion, when it comes to friendship dynamics and deciding on the number of bridesmaids, communication, sensitivity, and thoughtful consideration of your relationships are key. Remember, it's your wedding, and you can choose to have as many or as few bridesmaids as you like.

No. of groomsmen

When it comes to the number of groomsmen, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to remember that there is no rule that dictates you must have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. This decision ultimately comes down to personal preference and what you feel is best for your wedding. That being said, having an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids can contribute to symmetry during the ceremony, enhancing the overall aesthetic of the event.

If you're opting for a more formal wedding, it is common to have more groomsmen. For instance, a black-tie wedding with over 200 guests may have up to 12 groomsmen, along with a ring bearer and page boy. Conversely, a semi-formal or casual wedding typically has fewer groomsmen, with the number ranging between two and six.

The size of your wedding venue can also influence the number of groomsmen. If you're getting married in a small space, such as a registry office or an intimate hotel, having too many groomsmen may be impractical. On the other hand, a large, sweeping ballroom may look odd with only a couple of groomsmen.

Another factor to consider is the dynamics of your social group. If you have several close friends or family members that you'd like to include, you might want to opt for a larger number of groomsmen to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. However, it's important to remember that each additional groomsman will bring their own set of costs, from attire to gifts. Therefore, it's crucial to consult your budget and make sure you can comfortably accommodate the number of groomsmen you choose.

Ultimately, the number of groomsmen you choose is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Go with what feels right for you and your partner, and don't be afraid to buck tradition if that's what you prefer.

Frequently asked questions