Bridesmaids' Bible: What You Need To Know

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour and a lot of fun, but it's also a big responsibility. From planning the hen party to helping the bride get ready on the day, there's a lot to think about. Clear and honest communication is key, both with the bride and the other bridesmaids, to ensure everyone is happy and knows what's expected of them. It's also important to be mindful of everyone's financial situation and time constraints, and to be respectful and supportive of the bride's wishes. Ultimately, being a great bridesmaid is about showing up for the bride and being present, proactive, and positive throughout the entire planning process.

Emotional support and availability

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a huge responsibility. It's important to be there for the bride emotionally and lend a helping hand or a listening ear whenever she needs it. Here are some ways to provide emotional support and be available for the bride:

Be Present and Available

Make yourself available for the bride and offer your support throughout the entire planning process. Check in with her regularly and offer practical help whenever possible. Be specific and enquire about particular tasks she may need assistance with. Be mindful of her schedule and availability, especially when discussing any scheduling conflicts to avoid overwhelming her with excess responsibilities.

Provide Emotional Support

Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's crucial to lend a helping hand and be a source of emotional support for the bride. Be there for her during moments of tension and provide a calm and caring presence. Offer to help with dress appointments and be involved in choosing her attire for the wedding weekend. If you're a close friend, she may value your opinion on other aspects such as picking out her flowers.

Communicate Honestly

Have honest conversations about your responsibilities as a bridesmaid from the beginning. Be communicative about your capabilities and don't be afraid to speak up if there's something you're unable to handle. It's important to manage expectations on both sides to ensure a smooth and positive experience.

Assist with Pre-Wedding Events

Planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party are typical expectations for bridesmaids. The maid of honour usually takes the lead on these events, but as a bridesmaid, you should offer your support and help wherever possible. This may include securing travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation for the bachelorette party.

Be Flexible and Adaptable

Weddings can come with last-minute changes and unexpected moments. Stay flexible, patient, and calm to help the bride feel relaxed and celebrated. Keep your cool if something goes wrong and focus on keeping the bride's spirits high.

Keep the Bride Calm and Happy

On the wedding day, it's crucial to keep the bride calm and happy. Tell funny stories, play her favourite tunes, and do your best to shield her from any unnecessary stress or tension. Ensure she stays hydrated and well-fed, especially if she's too busy or nervous to remember to eat.

By following these guidelines, you'll be well on your way to providing exceptional emotional support and availability as a bridesmaid. Remember, the bride has chosen you to stand by her side because she trusts and values your presence, so embrace this role with enthusiasm and a positive attitude!

Planning and paying for pre-wedding events

Planning

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, including the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid of honor usually takes the lead in organizing these events, but as a bridesmaid, you should support her efforts. This might include helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation for the bachelorette party. It's important to communicate early and often with the other bridesmaids and the maid of honor to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Paying

Bridesmaids are typically expected to chip in for the costs of pre-wedding activities, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It is considered good etiquette to give a gift to the bridal shower, such as a spa day or facial, or to pool resources with the other bridesmaids to buy a larger gift for the couple. Additionally, bridesmaids should be prepared to pay for their own travel and accommodation for the wedding and any pre-wedding events.

Other Pre-Wedding Tasks

In addition to planning and paying for pre-wedding events, bridesmaids have a number of other tasks to complete before the wedding. These include:

• Being emotionally supportive of the bride throughout the planning process
• Communicating honestly about expectations and responsibilities
• Helping with wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes or easy DIY projects
• Buying a wedding present for the couple from their registry
• Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• Booking travel and hotel reservations for the wedding

Paying for bridesmaid attire, travel and gifts

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. It's important to be transparent about what you can afford from the start to alleviate any financial stress. Here are some of the costs you may need to consider as a bridesmaid:

Attire

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories. The cost of a bridesmaid dress can vary widely, from $100 to upwards of $800, depending on the lavishness of the wedding and the store. It's important to have open communication with the bride about the expected cost of the dress and to be honest about what you can afford. If the dress is outside your budget, the bride may be able to help cover the cost, or you may be able to find a similar, more affordable option.

Travel

Travel costs for the wedding day and any pre-wedding events, such as the bachelorette party, are generally covered by the bridesmaids. This includes transportation and accommodation. However, the bride may offer to split the costs or provide discounted accommodation options. It's essential to discuss these details a few months in advance to avoid last-minute surprises.

Gifts

While not required, it is highly recommended to give gifts to your bridesmaids as a token of appreciation for their time, money, and emotional support. These gifts can be given at any time during the wedding planning process or on the wedding day itself. The amount spent on gifts is up to the bride's budget, but it is suggested to be around what would typically be spent on a birthday or holiday gift. Alternatively, the bride may choose to pay for some of the bridesmaids' wedding costs, such as their dresses, accessories, or accommodation, as a gesture of gratitude.

Being a bridesmaid comes with financial responsibilities, but open communication and honesty about your budget will help ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Being the bride's 'go-to' on the day

Being the bride's go-to person on her wedding day is a huge responsibility and one of the most important bridesmaid duties. Here are some tips to ensure you're providing the best support to the bride:

Before the Wedding Day:

• Be emotionally supportive: Wedding planning can be stressful, so offer a helping hand or a listening ear whenever the bride needs it. Be there for her and provide a calm and caring presence.
• Communicate honestly: Understand what is expected of you as a bridesmaid by having open and honest conversations about responsibilities. Be communicative about your abilities and limitations to manage expectations effectively.
• Help with pre-wedding events: Support the maid of honor in planning and organising pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Offer to coordinate travel plans, accommodations, and activities for the bridal party.
• Book travel and accommodations: Take care of your own travel and hotel arrangements early on, especially for destination weddings. Ensure your reservations align with the schedule and location of important wedding events.
• Attend rehearsals: Be present at the ceremony rehearsals and rehearsal dinners. This is crucial for knowing your cues and understanding the flow of the wedding ceremony. It also provides an opportunity to offer last-minute support to the bride.

On the Wedding Day:

• Be the bride's "tribe": Serve as the bride's support system and a point of contact for guests and vendors. Ensure the bride has everything she needs, from snacks and drinks to touch-up lipstick and her phone.
• Assist with the bride's attire: Help the bride get ready, including assisting her with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil. If she has a ball gown or a similar style, she may need extra help manoeuvring her dress throughout the day and during restroom breaks.
• Keep the bride calm and happy: It is essential to minimise stress and tension on the wedding day. Share funny stories, play her favourite tunes, and do your best to create a joyful and relaxed atmosphere.
• Keep an eye on the time: Ensure that hair and makeup appointments are running on schedule. Help the bride stay on track and manage her time effectively throughout the morning and afternoon.
• Field questions and handle issues: Act as a point of contact for guests and suppliers, directing their queries and concerns away from the couple. Keep any potential issues at bay and ensure smooth problem-solving when needed.
• Assist with logistics: Help round up family members for photos, arrange for decorations on the wedding car, and facilitate guests' participation in activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth.
• Support the maid of honour: Lend a hand to the maid of honour with any last-minute tasks or coordination. Help create and manage a wedding-day emergency kit, and be prepared to make any necessary runs for forgotten items.

Helping with wedding planning tasks

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here are some ways you can help with wedding planning tasks:

Before the Wedding

• Be there for the bride: Planning a wedding can be stressful, so lend a helping hand or a listening ear whenever the bride needs it. Offer practical help and be specific about what you can do to assist.
• Be there for the maid of honour: The maid of honour has a lot on her plate, from planning the bachelorette party to smaller details like holding the bride's bouquet. Offer your help to the maid of honour whenever possible.
• Stay positive and offer planning assistance: While you may not want to get too involved in the nitty-gritty of planning, you can still help the couple search for vendors or with other planning tasks. Just make sure it doesn't take over your life!
• Attend pre-wedding events: Try to be available for the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and especially the rehearsal dinner. These events are a great way to celebrate with the bride-to-be.
• Help with wedding dress shopping: If asked to join, follow some etiquette rules while shopping and stay informed about the latest wedding dress trends.
• Help plan and organise pre-wedding events: Assist the maid of honour with planning and coordinating flights and hotels for destination bachelorette parties.
• Chip in for pre-wedding parties: While you don't have to shoulder the entire cost, consider splitting the expenses for pre-wedding activities with the other bridesmaids.
• Buy a wedding gift: It's proper etiquette for guests to buy a wedding gift. Head over to the couple's wedding registry and pick something you think they'll love.
• Book travel and accommodation: For destination weddings, make your travel reservations early and take care of your transportation and accommodation for the wedding.

During the Wedding Weekend

• Show up on time: Punctuality is crucial to ensure everything runs smoothly, from hair and makeup to wedding photos.
• Be prepared with your attire: Make sure you have everything you need, from your dress to your shoes and accessories.
• Keep the bride calm and happy: It's your job to minimise stress and tension. Whether it's telling a funny story, playing their favourite tunes, or keeping meddling relatives at bay, do your best to help the bride stay relaxed.
• Don't forget snacks: The bride may forget to eat due to nerves, so it's important to have their favourite snacks and plenty of water on hand while they're getting ready.
• Help the bride get dressed: Getting into a wedding dress can be a challenge, so lend a hand to ensure the bride looks and feels her best.
• Lend a hand to the maid of honour: She may need help with coordinating to keep the wedding on schedule, so be ready to assist.
• Have an emergency kit: Help the maid of honour create a wedding day emergency kit with items like stain remover and a sewing kit.

On the Wedding Day

• Know your cues: Know when you're supposed to walk down the aisle and where to stand. These details should be discussed and practised during the wedding rehearsal.
• Keep the bride calm: It's important to keep the couple calm and nervous on their wedding day. Do your best to help the bride stay relaxed and happy.
• Keep an eye on the little ones: If children are included in the wedding, you might need to watch over them before the ceremony.
• Stand with the bride at the altar: This is the main reason you were asked to be a bridesmaid—to stand by the bride's side and offer your support.
• Mix and mingle with guests: If the newlyweds are busy and can't greet guests immediately, it's the wedding party's job to entertain. Introduce family and friends who may not know each other.
• Get the party started: Once the couple has had their first dance, it's time for guests to join in. Grab your partner or a group of friends and head to the dance floor to get the party started!
• Ensure the couple eats: With all the greeting and thanking of guests, the couple might forget to eat. If there's no formal dinner, it's the bridesmaids' job to make a plate and ensure the couple sits down to enjoy their meal.
• Help with vendor payments: At the end of the night, vendors will need to be paid. If there's no wedding planner, lend a hand to the maid of honour with these payments.
• Send off the newlyweds: Your final duty is to give the couple a send-off they won't forget!

Frequently asked questions