Bridesmaids: Best Friends Make The Best Bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a privilege, but it can also be a source of stress and drama. While some bridesmaids and brides navigate the wedding planning process with ease, for others, it can be a recipe for disaster. From last-minute bachelorette party cancellations to mismatched expectations, the road to the wedding can be rocky. The pressure and emotions surrounding a wedding can expose underlying issues in even the closest of friendships, and sometimes, it's easier to walk away than to try to repair the relationship. However, for those who embrace the chaos and lean on each other for support, being a bridesmaid can strengthen the bond of friendship and create lasting memories. So, whether it's smoothing over pre-wedding jitters or sharing a bottle of champagne, the role of a bridesmaid is never dull!

Asking your best friend to be a bridesmaid

Asking your best friend to be your bridesmaid is a special moment in the journey to your wedding day. It can be nerve-wracking to pop the question, but there are plenty of creative ways to do it. Here are some ideas to help you ask your best friend to be your bridesmaid:

Creative Ways to Ask

There are endless ways to ask your best friend to be your bridesmaid, from simple cards to creative gifts. Here are some unique ideas:

• Cards: A card is a classic way to ask your best friend to be your bridesmaid. You can write a personalised message or include a funny quote. Some cards even have scratch-off or pull-out features for an interactive element.
• Gifts: A thoughtful gift can accompany your proposal. Consider items like customised jewellery, candles, notebooks, or pouches with their initials. You could also give them a bottle of wine or champagne with a personalised label.
• Boxes: Create a special box filled with treats and goodies for your best friend. Include items like cosmetics, self-care products, candles, or a small bottle of their favourite drink. You can also add a personalised card or a picture of you both.
• Edible treats: Delicious treats are always a fun way to pop the question. Consider customised biscuits, chocolates, or lollipops with a special message. You can even find chocolates in the shape of engagement rings!
• Personal items: Gift your best friend something they can use every day, like a makeup bag, a silk sleep mask, or a silk robe with their name or initials embroidered on it.
• Experience: Plan a fun experience or outing to ask your best friend to be your bridesmaid. It could be a dinner party, a slumber party, a beach day, or even a yoga class. During the activity, surprise them with a card or a gift.

What to Say

When asking your best friend to be your bridesmaid, you can simply say, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" However, if you want to make it more heartfelt or creative, here are some ideas for what to say:

• "I can't say 'I do' without you. Will you be my bridesmaid?"
• "I love you and I like you. Will you help me say 'I do'?"
• "You're my best friend, and there's no one else I'd rather stand beside me. Will you be my bridesmaid?"
• "You've been by my side for years. Will you stand by my side again as my bridesmaid?"
• "I need something old, something new, something borrowed, and most importantly... you! Will you be my bridesmaid?"
• "White dress, lace, and pearls... but I can't do it without my girls. Will you be one of them?"
• "I got my rock... now I need my flock. Will you be part of it?"
• "I promise, no ruffles or puffy sleeves. Will you be my bridesmaid, please?"

Planning a bachelorette party

Choose a Guest List:

Start by selecting the people who will be invited to the bachelorette party. This usually includes the maid of honour, bridesmaids, and other close friends or family members of the bride. It's important to ensure that everyone invited to the bachelorette party is also invited to the wedding. Get their names, contact information, and availability to help with the planning process.

Select a Location:

Decide whether the bachelorette party will be local or a destination event. Consider the bride's preferences, the type of activities desired, and the time of year when making this decision. Local bachelorette parties tend to be more affordable, while destination parties can offer a unique experience.

Set a Budget:

Discuss the budget with the guest list to determine a comfortable spending limit for everyone. Consider the costs of accommodations, travel, meals, and activities. The national average for bachelorette parties is around $500, but it's possible to plan a fantastic party for less.

Book Accommodations:

Once you have the guest list, dates, and location finalized, book your accommodations. Renting a house or VRBO can be more cost-effective and provide a shared space for the group to hang out. Consider the number of guests and their preferences when making this decision.

Choose a Theme:

Selecting a theme is optional but can add a fun element to the party. The theme can be as simple as incorporating the bride's interests or her name or going with a more playful idea like "Baches Be Crazy." The theme can inspire your decorations, activities, and attire.

Plan the Activities:

A mix of high-energy and low-key activities is ideal for a well-rounded bachelorette party. Consider the bride's hobbies, personality, and interests when brainstorming ideas. Some popular options include spa treatments, outdoor activities, cooking classes, or a night out on the town.

Get a Gift for the Bride:

Traditionally, each bachelorette brings a small gift for the bride, often lingerie. However, you can also go in together on a larger gift or opt for a budget-friendly option like a "panty drop," where each guest brings a different piece of underwear.

Decorations and Swag:

While decorations are optional, a few well-chosen pieces can enhance the party atmosphere. Banners, photo props, and customised drinkware are popular choices. Keep in mind that less is often more when it comes to bachelorette party decor.

Finalize the Itinerary:

Create a schedule for the bachelorette party, including arrival times, activities, meals, and downtime. Share the itinerary with the guests in advance so they can pack accordingly and be prepared for the festivities.

Pack and Celebrate:

As the host, arrive a few hours before the guests to set up any decorations and ensure everything is ready for the party. Then, it's time to celebrate the bride-to-be and create unforgettable memories!

Financial expectations

Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive affair, with the average cost of bridesmaid obligations adding up to about $1,900. However, it is important to remember that this amount can vary depending on the bride's expectations and financial situation of the bridesmaids. Here are some financial expectations to consider when being a bridesmaid:

Covering Expenses

Bridesmaids are traditionally expected to pay for their own ensembles, including the dress, shoes, and accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette party, travel to the wedding location, wedding accommodations, and wedding gifts. However, it is becoming increasingly common for brides to offer financial assistance or cover certain expenses, especially if they have the financial means to do so. It is important to have honest conversations about financial expectations and boundaries from the beginning to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment.

Planning Pre-Wedding Events

Bridesmaids are usually involved in planning and paying for pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It is important to communicate openly about budgets and expectations for these events, as costs can quickly spiral out of control. Be mindful of everyone's financial situation and try to accommodate different budget constraints. If you are unable to attend or contribute financially, it is important to communicate this early on.

Gifts for the Bride

It is customary to give a gift to the bride, such as a spa day or facial, for the bridal shower. If you are unable to afford an expensive gift, consider pooling resources with other bridesmaids to purchase a larger gift. Keep in mind that gifts are not compulsory, and your presence at the wedding is already a generous contribution.

Hair, Makeup, and Attire

Bridesmaids may be expected to cover the cost of their hair and makeup for the wedding, especially if the bride has specific requirements. Be clear about any expectations and try to accommodate each other's budgets. If you are uncomfortable with the attire chosen by the bride, communicate your concerns early on and suggest alternative options that fit within your budget.

Travel and Accommodations

If the wedding is in a different city or country, bridesmaids are expected to cover their travel expenses and accommodations. Try to book flights and hotels in advance to take advantage of any early bird discounts. If you are unable to afford the travel costs, it is important to communicate this to the bride as early as possible.

Being Emotionally Supportive

While not a financial expectation, being emotionally supportive of the bride is an important aspect of being a bridesmaid. Wedding planning can be stressful, and it is your role to provide a listening ear and help keep the bride calm and relaxed. Offer your help and be available throughout the planning process.

Choosing a dress

If you do decide to let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, it is a good idea to give them some guidelines to ensure they look coordinated. You could suggest a certain length, colour, or fabric type. You could also choose a specific skirt for everyone to wear and let them choose their own top, or suggest a particular shop for them to look in.

If you decide to choose the dresses yourself, it is important to consider the body types of your bridesmaids and select a style that will flatter everyone. A-line dresses are a good option as they are universally flattering. You should also consider the cost of the dresses, especially if you are requiring your bridesmaids to purchase them. It may be a nice gesture to offer to pay for the dresses, especially if you are asking your bridesmaids to buy a lot of other things such as shoes, hair, and makeup.

Finally, don't forget to consider the practicalities of the dress. For example, will your bridesmaids need to be able to move around easily or dance in the dress? Whatever you choose, open and honest communication with your bridesmaids is key to ensuring everyone is happy with the final decision.

The wedding day

For the bridesmaids, the day starts early. Hair and makeup must be done, and any last-minute touches to the dresses or suits need to be tended to. It's a flurry of activity, with the bridesmaids scurrying around the bride, making sure she has everything she needs and that the day is going according to plan.

The ceremony is a blur of music, flowers, and happy tears. The bridesmaids process down the aisle, beaming with pride as their best friend takes this momentous step. They exchange knowing glances with the groomsmen, offer a supportive smile to the bride, and try to hold back their own tears of joy.

After the ceremony, the bridal party poses for countless photos, offering suggestions for creative poses and doing their best to keep the energy high and everyone laughing. They ensure the newlyweds have everything they need and that the reception venue looks perfect.

As the reception gets underway, the bridal party takes their places at the head table, toasting the happy couple and sharing stories of their friendship. They join the guests on the dance floor, keeping the party going and making sure everyone is having a good time.

But amidst all the fun, the bridal party is also on duty, troubleshooting any issues that arise, whether it's a missing relative, a catering mishap, or a guest who's had too much to drink. They are the couple's support system and the backbone of the wedding, ensuring that the day goes off without a hitch.

It's a day of love and celebration, but it's also a day of hard work and dedication for the bridal party. Their job is to ensure that the happy couple has the best day of their lives, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

Frequently asked questions