Rsvp Etiquette: How Long Should You Wait For A Response?

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important aspects is finalising your guest list and sending out invitations. But how long should you give your guests to RSVP? The general consensus is that it's best to give guests around four weeks to RSVP and to set your RSVP deadline around two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to chase any late responses and finalise numbers with your caterer and venue. It's also worth noting that wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving guests ample time to respond.

How long should you wait for wedding guests to RSVP?

The waiting game for wedding RSVPs can be a stressful experience, but there are steps you can take to ensure that your guests respond promptly. Firstly, it is important to set a clear RSVP deadline. For a standard wedding, invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, and the RSVP deadline should be set for three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives guests a window of about a month to respond, which is considered the "sweet spot" as it is close enough that guests feel they can't put it off, but not so close that they have already made other plans.

For destination weddings, the timeline is a little different. Invitations should be sent out about four months before the wedding, and the RSVP deadline should be two months before. This gives guests ample time to make travel plans.

If you are concerned about guests forgetting to respond, you can include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations. You can also give guests the option to RSVP digitally through your wedding website, as not everyone uses mail as they once did.

Once the RSVP deadline has passed, you may need to follow up with guests who haven't responded. It is recommended to wait about a week before sending reminders to these guests. You can also send a friendly reminder to all guests about a week before the deadline to prevent any last-minute delays. If you are still missing RSVPs a week after the deadline, it is time to pick up the phone and call those who haven't responded. While it may feel awkward, it is important to get an accurate final guest count as soon as possible.

In summary, for a standard wedding, you should wait three to four weeks for guests to RSVP, and for a destination wedding, you should wait about two months. However, it is important to be prepared to follow up with guests who don't respond by the deadline to ensure you have an accurate headcount for your big day.

When should wedding RSVPs be due?

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important milestones is finalising your guest list and sending out invitations. But the work doesn't end there—you'll be waiting with bated breath for your guests to respond with their RSVPs. So, when should wedding RSVPs be due?

The ideal deadline for wedding RSVPs is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you, the happy couple, enough time to chase down any missing responses and confirm the final headcount for your vendors. It's crucial to have this number finalised, as it affects everything from seating arrangements to catering. Sending your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding gives your guests a comfortable window of about a month to respond without feeling pressured or forgetting altogether.

For destination weddings, it's a good idea to give your guests a little more time. Sending out invitations three to four months in advance is standard, with an RSVP deadline of about two months before the wedding. This longer lead time is necessary for guests to make travel plans, sort out accommodations, and tackle any visa or passport requirements.

While it's customary to provide an RSVP deadline, you may still find yourself following up with guests who haven't responded. It's generally a good idea to give guests a gentle nudge about a week after the deadline has passed. This might involve a friendly phone call, text, or email.

The key to a smooth RSVP process is clear and direct communication. Make sure your guests understand the importance of responding by the deadline and provide them with multiple response options, such as mail-in cards or digital submissions through your wedding website.

What to do about the stragglers?

It's important to set the right RSVP date for your wedding to help your to-do list move along in the final weeks of planning. There are a few details you can't finalise until you know how many people are attending, including the number of rentals (like tables and chairs), how much alcohol you'll need and the final names for your seating chart.

Build in a grace period

It's a good idea to build in a grace period to your RSVP time frame. This gives guests a few days to a week to respond after the deadline has passed. This is a good way to give stragglers a chance to respond, even if they are running late.

Follow up

If you still haven't heard from several people past the RSVP date, the best option is to follow up with them. Start following up with guests who haven't responded about a week after the deadline has passed. While it might feel awkward at first, it's important to get an idea of your final guest count as soon as possible. The closer you get to the wedding, the busier you'll be with other last-minute tasks.

Express enthusiasm

When following up, remember to express enthusiasm for your guests' attendance. That way, they'll know their presence means a lot to you, making them more likely to attend. Once you have verbal confirmation, you can ask them to RSVP online so your records are organised.

Give a gentle reminder

If a phone call isn't producing results, try reaching out through email or text. Some people are better at responding if they can do it while they're at work or waiting in line. You could also send guests a quick wedding RSVP reminder the week before the deadline.

Start pruning your list

If you've tried all the above steps and people still aren't responding, you're within your rights to consider striking them from your guest list and moving on. If they call a week before the wedding, it's up to you whether you want to squeeze them in, but any reasonable person would understand if you say you've reached out multiple times and your numbers are now set in stone.

Plan for extras

Many caterers will include a few 'just in case' meals in their final prep. That means that any last-minute guests won't go hungry. However, you may be limited by available seating or venue capacity, so have a plan in place for what will happen to wedding crashers.

How to get everyone to respond?

How to Get Everyone to Respond

The key to getting everyone to respond to your wedding invitations is to make it as easy as possible for your guests. Here are some tips to help you get those RSVPs rolling in:

• Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope: Providing your guests with a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope gives them no excuse not to pop the card in the mailbox.
• Give guests multiple options for RSVPing: Not everyone uses snail mail these days, so it's a good idea to include an option for guests to digitally submit their RSVP via your wedding website. You could also include a phone number or email address for guests to respond to.
• Choose clear wording: Some guests may not understand what RSVP means or that a response is required even if they are declining the invitation. Using wording such as "The favour of your reply is requested by [insert date]" can make it clearer that a response is needed.
• Ask for song requests or a favourite memory: Including an engaging call to action on the response card, such as "RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor" or "RSVP with your favourite memory of the bride and groom", can encourage guests to respond.
• Make the RSVP date clear: Use a legible font on the card and, if you're including a digital RSVP option, consider using a countdown ticker on your wedding website.
• Send a reminder: Send guests a quick reminder about a week before the RSVP deadline. You can also add a note to your wedding website or send a reminder via email or text message.
• Follow up with non-responders: If you still haven't heard from some guests after the RSVP deadline, pick up the phone and give them a call. It's important to get an idea of your final guest count as soon as possible, and you don't want to be chasing responses in the final weeks before your wedding.

What to do if a guest doesn't RSVP?

It is common for guests to fail to RSVP to a wedding invitation. If this happens, don't panic. Here are some steps you can take to handle the situation:

Take a Deep Breath

It's important to approach this situation with a calm and level-headed mindset. Wedding planning is stressful, and not hearing back from guests can add to that stress. Try practising deep breathing exercises or yoga to help you stay relaxed and focused.

Contact Guests Who Haven't Responded

Start by going through your guest list and identifying those who haven't responded yet. Contact them directly, either by phone, text, or email, depending on what you're comfortable with and what you think they're most likely to respond to. Be friendly and polite in your message, and simply ask if they plan to attend. It's a good idea to do this at least a week before your RSVP deadline.

> I’m doing some final wedding prep this week (I can’t believe the day is almost here!). I realized you haven’t RSVP’d yet. Will I get to see you and your lovely family/partner on [wedding date]? No worries if you can’t make it. I’d love to see you, of course, but I know life is crazy. But it’s getting to the point where I need to give caterers a final headcount and wanted to check in.

>

> Can you believe I’m getting married in 3 weeks?! I haven’t seen your RSVP—will you be able to make it? It’s ok if not (I hope to see you soon either way!). But I am needing to give the caterers a head count soon so I wanted to touch base.

Send a Follow-Up

If you don't hear back from some guests, send a follow-up message after 3-4 days. It's possible that your initial message arrived at an inconvenient time and they forgot to respond. Keep your follow-up short and direct, and include the details of the wedding again:

> Just checking on your RSVP. Here are the details: [wedding date and location]. Will I see you there?

>

> I’m giving the caterers a final headcount today and am just checking in. Will you be able to make it to the wedding?

Accept and Move Forward

If you still don't hear back from some guests after your follow-up, it's time to move on. If the RSVP deadline has passed, assume that they are not coming. You can pad your vendor's final headcount by a few people in case of last-minute responses, but you are well within your rights to turn away guests who RSVP too late.

Tips for the Future

To avoid this situation in the future, here are some tips to ensure timely RSVPs:

• Include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope with your invitation.
• Give guests multiple options for RSVPing, such as digitally through your wedding website.
• Use clear wording on your invitation, such as "The favour of your reply is requested by [date]" instead of just "RSVP".
• Ask for song requests or favourite memories of the couple on the response card to make it more engaging.
• If it's a destination wedding, send out invitations earlier and set an RSVP deadline of two months before the wedding.

Frequently asked questions