Wedding Invites: Mail Or Hand Delivery?

Wedding invitations are traditionally sent by mail, but hand-delivering them to friends and family who live close by is becoming more common. While mailing invitations is the proper etiquette, it can be expensive and time-consuming, especially for couples on a tight budget or with a large guest list. Some couples choose to hand-deliver invitations to add a personal touch and spend time with their invitees, while others prefer the convenience of mailing them all at once. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and what is feasible for the couple.

Weighing your invitations

Weight and Postage

Before you head to the post office, weigh your fully assembled invitation, including any embellishments like ribbons or wax seals. The weight will determine the postage required, which could be more than the cost of a standard Forever stamp. Visit the post office and have a postal clerk weigh your invitation to determine the exact postage needed. This will help you avoid underpaying or overpaying for postage.

Timing

It is recommended to mail your wedding invitations 8-12 weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, it is advisable to mail them earlier, around 9-10 weeks in advance, to allow for extended shipping and delivery times. Sending invitations too early or too late can lead to issues with guest availability and response rates.

Mailing vs. Hand Delivery

While mailing is the traditional and formal way to send wedding invitations, some couples choose to hand-deliver invitations to local friends and family to save on postage. This can add a personal touch, especially for close friends and family. However, it is important to consider the potential inconvenience for recipients and the risk of emphasizing who is and isn't invited in group settings. Hand delivery may also require additional time and effort, so consider your budget and preferences.

International Guests

When inviting international guests, plan to send invitations 8-10 weeks in advance to allow for customs clearance and shipping delays. Consider providing a digital RSVP option for these guests to expedite their response and avoid international postage costs.

Return Address Format

When addressing your envelopes, follow the Post Office's recommendation to place the return address on the same side as the guest address. This helps avoid confusion, even though it may not be aesthetically ideal. Use a simple format with no names, and keep the zip code on the same line as the city and state to ensure effective delivery.

Invitation Colors and Envelopes

Avoid using red or white ink for addressing envelopes, as these colors can be challenging for postal machines to read. Opt for darker inks like charcoal, navy, or black on light-colored envelopes to ensure contrast and legibility. Consider using clear plastic sleeves for mailing to protect your invitations from weather conditions like rain or snow.

Choosing envelope colours

When it comes to choosing envelope colours for your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, consider the overall aesthetic you want to achieve for your wedding. This includes taking into account the wedding colours, theme, and style. Choose an envelope colour that complements your wedding colour palette and sets the tone for your big day.

Secondly, it is important to ensure that the envelope colour allows for clear and legible addressing. The postal machines can read most colours, but it is best to avoid red or colours in the red family, such as maroon or burgundy. Opt for darker-coloured inks (charcoal, navy, or black) on light-coloured envelopes to ensure that the addresses can be easily distinguished from a distance.

Additionally, consider the return address format. While it is not aesthetically ideal to have the return address on the same side as the guest address, you can make it work by keeping everything to two lines or even putting everything on one line. Using a slightly less contrasting colour for the return address can also help.

Finally, don't forget to order extra invitations! This will come in handy if any invitations go missing in the mail or if there are any last-minute additions to your guest list.

Ordering extra invitations

When it comes to ordering wedding invitations, it's important to strike a balance between ordering too many and too few. While you don't want to be left with a surplus of unused invitations, it's also crucial to have a buffer to account for last-minute guest list additions, lost invitations, and keepsakes. Here are some detailed guidelines and tips for ordering extra wedding invitations:

Determining the Right Quantity:

Firstly, it's essential to count the number of households on your guest list, as not every guest needs an individual invitation. This is a common mistake that couples make, leading to an unnecessary surplus. For couples living together, one invitation per couple is sufficient. However, consider providing separate invitations for guests over the age of 18 living with their parents.

Adding Extra Invitations:

Once you've determined the number of invitations based on households, it's recommended to add at least 10 extras, and some suggest even 20 extras, to account for unforeseen circumstances. These extras will come in handy if you need to accommodate additional guests, replace lost invitations, or retain some as keepsakes. Remember that reordering invitations can be costly, so it's better to order slightly more upfront.

Planning for Unknowns:

It's inevitable that you might forget someone on your guest list or decide to invite someone new. To accommodate these situations, it's advisable to order about 10 extra invitations. This buffer will provide flexibility and ensure you don't have to rush for reprints later.

Envelopes and Addressing:

When ordering envelopes, consider adding 10%-20% extra to account for addressing mistakes, especially if you're working with a calligrapher or addressing them yourself. This will ensure you have enough matching envelopes and won't need to worry about running out.

Keepsakes and Photography:

It's a good idea to keep 2-3 invitations as keepsakes for yourself and perhaps a couple more for your parents or other family members who may want them. Additionally, providing your photographer with an invitation to capture at your wedding is a great way to showcase your love story through photos.

Mailing and Delivery:

When it comes to mailing your invitations, it's recommended to hand them directly to a staff member at the post office instead of dropping them in a mailbox. This ensures your invitations are securely handled and helps avoid potential issues with bulkier or embellished invitations. Taking the time to hand-deliver invitations to your local post office is worth the extra effort for peace of mind.

Hand-cancelling

To hand-cancel your wedding invitations, take your envelopes to your local post office and ask the clerk to verify that you have the correct postage. Then, request that they hand-cancel your postage. There may be a small additional fee per envelope for this service. It can also take quite a bit of time, so it's recommended to visit the post office during low-traffic hours, such as early weekday mornings, and avoid the lunchtime rush.

Some postal clerks may tell you that they don't hand-cancel anymore, but you can ask to speak to the office manager or try another post office. If you're having trouble, you can bring in 50 invitations at a time and return the next day with the rest.

Sending save-the-dates

Timing is Key

It's important to send your save-the-dates early enough to give your guests ample notice and time to plan. The recommended timeline is six to eight months before your wedding for a local wedding, and nine months to a year in advance for a destination wedding. Sending your save-the-dates early is especially important if you're getting married during a busy travel season or over a holiday weekend. However, try not to send them too early—a year or more in advance may be too soon, as your guests may not keep the date in mind.

Who to Send Them To

Save-the-dates should be sent to everyone on your wedding guest list who will receive an invitation. This includes members of your wedding party and family members. Anyone you're sure will be invited should receive a save-the-date. Remember, once you've sent them out, you're obligated to send a formal invitation to those guests.

What to Include

Your save-the-dates should include the date of your wedding or the weekend of the celebration if it's a multi-day event. Include the city of the event, and the full names of the couple. You may also include the following optional information:

• A note that a formal invitation will follow
• Your wedding website
• Hotel information, especially if you have reserved a block of rooms with a discount rate

Digital or Physical?

While digital save-the-dates are convenient and more cost-effective, there's nothing like receiving a personalised save-the-date card in the mail. It adds a special touch and builds excitement for your wedding.

Mailing Tips

When mailing your save-the-dates, bring them to the post office and hand them to a postal worker to ensure their safe delivery. If your save-the-dates have embellishments or unconventional mailing materials, expect a slightly higher cost per card. Go to the post office and have an envelope weighed by a clerk to get the exact price. Ordering a few extra save-the-dates is a good idea for keepsakes and any last-minute guest list additions.

Frequently asked questions