Selecting Your Bridesmaids: Timing And Tips For The Perfect Pick

Brides-to-be often wonder when the best time is to ask their friends and family members to be their bridesmaids. While it's an exciting part of the wedding planning process, it's important not to rush into it. It's recommended to ask your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. This gives them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses, while also allowing you to make a final decision on the number of bridesmaids you want. Asking too early may lead to regret and strained friendships if your relationships change or you decide to downgrade to a smaller wedding. However, if you're confident that your relationships are strong and won't change, you can consider asking up to two years in advance.

Timing: Ask bridesmaids 8 months to a year before the wedding

Asking your bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding celebration is one of the most exciting parts of getting engaged. However, it is important to give this decision some careful thought and not rush into it. While you may be eager to share the news with your friends, it is generally recommended to wait anywhere from eight months to a year before the wedding to pop the question to your bridesmaids. This timeline will give you enough time to make a final decision on the number of bridesmaids you want and allow your chosen attendants to plan and budget for any expenses.

Waiting to ask your bridesmaids until you are closer to the wedding date has several advantages. Firstly, it gives you time to consider the important people in your life and who you want by your side on your special day. Secondly, it allows you to gather more details about your wedding, such as the date, venue, and the type of bridal shower and bachelorette party you want. This information will help your bridesmaids understand their role and responsibilities and feel excited about your wedding. It is also essential to have at least a tentative wedding date before asking your bridesmaids, as this will impact their ability to commit to the role.

Additionally, by asking your bridesmaids eight months to a year in advance, you provide them with sufficient time to plan the bachelorette party and purchase their dresses and shoes. It is also an opportunity to discuss any bachelorette party ideas they may have and ensure they are comfortable with the financial and time commitment involved in being a bridesmaid. This advance notice will enable your bridesmaids to plan appropriately and ensure their calendars are free for your special day.

While you may be eager to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids as soon as you get engaged, it is important to give this decision the time and consideration it deserves. Waiting eight months to a year before the wedding will ensure that you make the right choices and give your bridesmaids enough time to prepare for their role in your celebration.

Numbers: Choose how many bridesmaids to have

The number of bridesmaids you have is entirely up to you. Some old-school rules of thumb suggest that the number of guests at your wedding will determine how many bridesmaids you should have. For example, a wedding with under 60 guests could have four bridesmaids, while a wedding with 150+ guests could accommodate 10 bridesmaids. However, these rules are meant to be broken and are only helpful if you're looking for a benchmark.

If you're worried about how your photos will look with an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, talk to your wedding photographer. They may be able to suggest ways to ensure your photos look balanced. You can also include other people in your wedding party, such as ushers, to even out the numbers if needed. Ultimately, it's more important to choose the right people to stand by your side than to worry about the exact number of bridesmaids.

If you're having trouble deciding on a number, ask your partner how many attendants they will have so that you can be on the same page. It's also a good idea to consider the level of involvement you want from your bridesmaids. If you plan to lean heavily on your bridal party for planning advice and wedding tasks, you may want to choose a smaller number of people who have the time and energy to commit to those responsibilities.

Remember, you can always be flexible and make changes to your bridal party if needed. For example, if you initially choose 12 bridesmaids but later decide that's too many, you can downgrade to a smaller number.

Roles: Decide on the level of involvement you want from bridesmaids

When it comes to deciding on the level of involvement you want from your bridesmaids, it's important to remember that being a bridesmaid comes with a long list of responsibilities and expenses. Before finalising your crew, it's a good idea to be transparent about the level of commitment you expect from them. Here are some roles and responsibilities to consider:

Pre-Wedding

• Planning and attending pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Helping with wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetising escort cards, and easy DIY projects.
• Providing emotional support to the bride throughout the planning process.
• Shopping for and paying for their own attire, including dresses, jewellery, and shoes.
• Booking their own travel and accommodation for the wedding.
• Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Buying a wedding gift for the couple.

Wedding Day

• Getting ready with the bride and other bridesmaids.
• Participating in the ceremony and being photo-ready.
• Assisting the maid of honour and providing getting-ready snacks.
• Being a point of contact for guests and vendors.
• Mingling with guests, participating in guest activities, and dancing at the reception.
• Helping with the send-off by assembling items that need to be transported and ensuring guests get to their cars or shuttles safely.

Post-Wedding

• Attending any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or brunch.
• Organising and returning any miscellaneous or leftover wedding items.
• Settling any outstanding payments or bills.

Remember, it's important to be clear about the anticipated lift for your bridesmaids in terms of time and financial commitment. While you can offer some flexibility, it's crucial to set expectations to ensure everyone is on the same page and can commit to the responsibilities that come with being a bridesmaid.

Budget: Discuss costs and financial commitments with potential bridesmaids

When it comes to picking bridesmaids, it's important to give yourself a few months to decide who you want to ask. It's recommended that you make a final decision on who you want to be your bridesmaids about 11 months before the wedding, and no later than eight months out. This will give you enough time to ask essential questions, such as what shoes they prefer to wear and if they have any bachelorette party ideas. It will also allow the proposed bridesmaids to see what expenses they will need to cover and how much it will cost to be a bridesmaid.

Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of excitement but also a significant financial commitment. It is important to have open and honest communication about budget expectations and financial contributions with potential bridesmaids. Here are some of the costs that bridesmaids typically incur:

• Attire and accessories: Bridesmaids are usually expected to pay for their dresses, which can cost anywhere from $100 to $300 or more. They may also need to budget for alterations, undergarments, shoes, and other accessories.
• Hair and makeup: If professional hair and makeup services are desired, bridesmaids should expect to pay for these services unless the couple offers to cover the cost as a gift. These services can range from $100 to $300 or more.
• Travel and accommodation: For destination weddings or weddings in popular tourist destinations, bridesmaids may need to budget anywhere from $300 to $1,000 or more for travel and accommodation expenses.
• Bridal shower and bachelorette party: As a bridesmaid, it is customary to contribute to the planning and costs of the bridal shower and bachelorette party. These expenses can range from $50 to $150 for the bridal shower and $200 to $700 or more for the bachelorette party, depending on the location and activities.
• Gifts: While not mandatory, bridesmaids may also choose to purchase gifts for the bridal shower and wedding.

It is important to note that these are average costs, and the actual expenses may vary depending on the wedding's location and the couple's expectations. It is always a good idea to have open and transparent communication about financial expectations to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Planning: Give bridesmaids time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to organising the bridal party. It's important to give your bridesmaids enough time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses. Here are some tips to help you with the planning process:

Timing is Key

It is recommended to give your bridesmaids a heads-up about their role at least eight months in advance, with some sources suggesting that 11 months is even better. This will allow them to plan their schedule and budget accordingly. However, it is also advised not to ask too early, as life changes and shifting dynamics may occur within that time frame. Ideally, you should wait until you have confirmed the wedding date and have a rough idea of the other wedding details before popping the question to your bridesmaids.

Bachelorette Party Planning

The bachelorette party is typically planned by the maid of honour or a small group of bridesmaids. It is customary for the bridesmaids to cover the costs of the party, including food, drinks, decorations, and entertainment. If the bachelorette party requires travel or is a multi-day event, it is only fair to split the costs evenly among all attendees, including the bride. Starting the planning process three to six months in advance will give you ample time to understand the bride's preferences and make the necessary arrangements.

Dresses and Accessories

Bridesmaids are usually expected to purchase their dresses and any necessary accessories. If you want your bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup professionally done, it is considerate to cover the cost as a gift. Communicate your expectations early on to ensure your bridesmaids have enough time to budget and make arrangements.

Open Communication

Frequent and transparent communication is vital to ensuring a smooth process. Be clear about your expectations and give your bridesmaids the opportunity to express any concerns or limitations. This will help alleviate financial stressors and ensure everyone is on the same page.

Other Considerations

Remember that being a bridesmaid comes with various other expenses, such as bridal shower costs, wedding gifts, and pre-wedding event attire. It is important to be mindful of your bridesmaids' financial situations and offer flexibility where possible.

Frequently asked questions