Pippi's Take On Best Man Jokes: Laughter And Opinions

Best man jokes are a staple of wedding speeches, but they can be a bit of a minefield. Get it wrong, and you could end up offending the bride, groom, or their families. So, how does Pippi feel about best man jokes? Well, Pippi is all about breaking the rules and doing things her own way. She's strong, independent, and always up for some fun. So, it's safe to say that she would appreciate a best man speech with a few well-placed jokes. However, she would probably advise against tired old jokes that objectify women or rely on crass and homophobic humour. Instead, Pippi would likely encourage the best man to be creative, thoughtful, and most importantly, funny! After all, a good best man speech should be memorable, and what better way to ensure that than with a few well-crafted jokes? So, if you're the best man at an upcoming wedding, take a leaf out of Pippi's book and inject some fun into your speech, but remember to keep it classy!

Best man jokes about the bride

Best man jokes are a staple of wedding speeches, but it's important to keep them good-natured and not offensive. Here are some examples of jokes about the bride that should keep the audience laughing and the bride smiling:

"I've played football with [Name] on many occasions and never seen him lose a ball... as he doesn't kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop."

"I'd like to congratulate [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

"I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately, I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

"I'd like to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

"I'd also like to congratulate [Name] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it."

"I've been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I'll whip it out immediately."

"I've been told I won't get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I'm supposed to sing the Groom's praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can't sing and I won't lie."

"I think the main reason we've lasted as friends all these years is because you're geographically convenient... and you had a trampoline."

"I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!"

"I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in..."

"I'd also like to congratulate [Name] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

"I spoke to both [Bride] and [Groom] before the Wedding and I asked [Groom] what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked [Bride] the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!"

"I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance."

"I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives."

"I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out."

"I’d like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

"I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

"I can see how incredibly happy you have made my old friend over these last eight years and just how much you have helped to change his life for the better. He’s always been a great guy, but now he has wider horizons and a greater sense of adventure. And I know just how much of a support you’ve been to him through the tough times. I think you are a great couple and I look forward to many more happy times together in the future."

Best man jokes about the groom's exes

While Pippi Longstocking is a beloved fictional character, there are some insights we can draw from her character on how she might feel about best man jokes. Pippi is a strong, independent, and unique character who embraces her differences. She is also a great friend and always up for fun. With that in mind, let's explore some best man jokes about the groom's exes, keeping in mind the importance of creativity, tastefulness, and avoiding offensive or crude humour.

• "I was asked by the Bride to avoid the subject of old girlfriends, which I thought was fair enough, but what about the young ones?"
• "I was pleased when [Bride] and [Groom] selected this venue as [Groom] and I are quite familiar with this place. It's the location for his local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings."
• "I know what you're all thinking... that I'm going to use this speech to tease [Groom] about his exes. But you're wrong; it's out of order to make fun of someone special."
• "I was asked by the Bride not to mention any ex-girlfriends, which I thought was fair. But what about all his ex-boyfriends?"
• "I can let [Bride] into a secret – she's in luck tonight. Apparently, [Groom] is well-endowed because every time we went to the local bar or club, all the girls would say, 'There's [Groom] with that giant knob.'""
• "I've known [Groom] for about 10 years, and he's handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic... sorry, wrong wedding."
• "Stuart has had some dodgy girlfriends over the years. I never forget a face, but in their case, I'd be glad to make an exception."
• "I asked the Bride to avoid the subject of ex-girlfriends, which I thought was fair. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech."

When crafting jokes about the groom's exes, it's important to be cautious and avoid crude or offensive humour. Keep the jokes light-hearted and good-natured, and always consider the bride's feelings. Remember, the goal is to celebrate the happy couple and create a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Best man jokes about the groom's family

When it comes to jokes about the groom's family, it's important to keep things light and good-natured. Here are some examples of jokes that could be used in a best man's speech:

"I've known [groom] since we were kids, and I can tell you, his parents could've stopped at making just one mistake!"

"The groom's parents have been married for 40 years, which is funny because the groom couldn't last 40 minutes with his eyes closed, wondering what his wife is up to!"

"I've known the groom's family for a long time, and I can tell you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Except in the case of [sibling], who I think was delivered by a stork!"

"The groom's parents have been married for 50 years, which is really 52 if you count the two years the mother-in-law spent in prison for insider trading."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long, I think their original wedding cake is now a fossil."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long that their marriage certificate is now considered an antique."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long that their wedding photos are in black and white."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long that their wedding cake was made by Mr. Kipling himself."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long that their wedding song was performed by Bing Crosby."

"The groom's parents have been married for so long that their wedding gift registry was chiselled into stone tablets."

"I've known the groom's family for a long time, and I can tell you, they're a lot like the mafia. If you're a friend, they'll do anything for you. And if you're not... well, let's just say I hope you're a friend!"

Best man jokes about the groom's job

While there is no direct information on how Pippi feels about best man jokes, here is some general advice on best man jokes about the groom's job, along with some examples:

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, and getting it right is essential. Most best men feel weighed down by the expectation to be funny and don't know where to start. It's important to keep the jokes warm and funny, and never edgy. Avoid cliches and in-jokes that the wider audience won't understand.

• "I've played football with [Name] on many occasions and never seen him lose a ball... as he doesn’t kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop."
• "I’m told this went better the first time in Vegas."
• "I’ve known [Name] for a long, long time. I have watched him crawl around on his knees and drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him. But enough about the stag do..."
• "I’d also like to congratulate [Name] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it."
• "I’d also like to congratulate [Name] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it."
• "I’ve been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately."
• "I’m here to give a speech about [Name] – but what can I say about him that hasn’t already been a topic on Jeremy Kyle?"
• "I’ve just been told being named the best man is not an award, which makes this acceptance speech a little awkward."
• "I need to make this speech quick because my date for the night charges by the hour."
• "I’m told this went better the first time in Vegas."

Best man jokes about the groom's hobbies

While some people may enjoy a good roast, it's important to be mindful of the groom's feelings and not take it too far. Here are some examples of jokes about the groom's hobbies that should be light-hearted and good-natured:

"I've always known [groom] to be a bit of a car enthusiast. In fact, he's been happier than I've ever seen him these past three years. And it's all because of his beloved car. I'm glad he's found someone else to lavish all his love and attention on."

"I've known [groom] for many years now, and one thing that's always stood out to me is his passion for football. Unfortunately, he's never been able to kick the ball very far. In fact, he struggles to kick it at all! But I suppose that gives him more time to focus on his good looks and charm."

"For those of you who don't know, [groom] is quite the musician. He picked up the guitar at age 10, and we made sure he gave it up by 10:30 pm every night. I think our parents' eardrums have finally recovered."

"Speaking of music, did you know that [groom] is a huge fan of Steps? Every time he's drunk, he breaks out into the dance moves for '5,6,7,8'. It's quite the sight!"

"I've always admired [groom]'s dedication to staying fit and healthy. He does 50 push-ups every day. Well, technically he does 0 push-ups, because he just collapses on the floor. But it's the thought that counts, right?"

Remember, the key is to keep the jokes light and not too edgy. You want the groom to be able to laugh along with everyone else!

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