Writing Wedding Invitation Envelopes: A Step-By-Step Guide

Writing wedding invitation envelopes can be a daunting task, but it's an important part of wedding planning. The way you address your envelopes will depend on the formality of your wedding, the relationship status of your guests, and their titles or honorifics. Traditionally, wedding invitations include an outer envelope with a formal address and an inner envelope with a more casual address. The outer envelope is more formal and typically includes the recipient's full name and title, while the inner envelope may use first names only. When addressing a married couple, it is customary to use Mr. and Mrs. for heterosexual couples and either name can go first for same-sex couples. For unmarried couples living together, their names are written on separate lines without a conjoining and. It's also important to consider any children or plus-ones when addressing the envelopes.

Formal vs. Informal Addressing Styles

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, it's important to consider the level of formality your wedding event will have. The formality will heavily influence the style of addressing you choose. For instance, a glamorous black-tie affair calls for a more traditional and elegant addressing style, while a laid-back country wedding may be better suited to a more casual and relaxed approach.

Formal Addressing Style:

• Use formal names and avoid nicknames.
• Middle names are not necessary, but if used, they should be spelled out rather than abbreviated.
• Spell out all words such as "Apartment", "Avenue", "Street", etc.
• Abbreviate titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms." and "Jr.".
• Write out professional titles such as "Doctor" or "Professor".
• For married couples with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
• For married couples with different last names, write their names on the same line, with the woman's name first.
• For unmarried couples living at the same address, list both names on one line, with the person you are closest to first.
• For single individuals, use "Ms." for women over 18 and "Mr." for men over 18.
• For families with children, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and include the children's names on the inner envelope.

Informal Addressing Style:

• Nicknames or first names only may be used.
• Abbreviations may be used for middle names or left out entirely.
• Abbreviations are acceptable for words like "Avenue" and "Street".
• Professional titles may be omitted or abbreviated.
• Married couples may be addressed by their first names only or with a combination of first names and surnames.
• Unmarried couples may be addressed by their first names, with or without surnames.
• Single individuals may be addressed by their first name only.
• Families with children may be addressed with a more casual approach, such as "The [Last Name] Family".

It's important to note that the outer envelope should generally be more formal, while the inner envelope can be more informal and casual. Ultimately, the choice of addressing style depends on the tone and formality of your wedding event, and you should feel free to adapt and customize the addressing to fit your specific needs and preferences.

Abbreviations and Titles

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, it is important to consider the appropriate titles and abbreviations for your guests. Here are some guidelines to help you with this task:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple prefers a less traditional approach, you can include both first names, such as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]".

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

Write their full names on the same line, with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". If their combined names are too long, list them separately.

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

Address the invitation to the spouse who has chosen the hyphenated last name. For example, "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft".

Unmarried Couple:

For couples who live at the same address but are unmarried, address both people on one line, listing the person you are closer to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".

Single Female:

Use "Ms." if she is over 18. For younger females, use "Miss", spelled out rather than abbreviated. If a single female has a plus-one, indicate this only on the inner envelope, such as "Ms. Stephanie Chen and guest".

Single Male:

Use "Mr." for males over 18. If a single male has a plus-one, specify this only on the inner envelope, for example, "Mr. James Montgomery and guest".

Married Couple with One Person Holding a Distinguished Title:

If one person in the couple holds a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military rank, or judge, address them by their title. Spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it as "Dr." on the inner envelope. If the combined names are too long, list them separately.

Married Couple with Both People Holding Distinguished Titles:

In this case, use "The Doctors" or "Doctors [Last Name]" for married doctors. For other distinguished titles, list the person with the higher rank first, and indent the second line if necessary.

Couple with Other Distinguished Titles:

For guests with titles such as military personnel, judges, or attorneys, apply the same rules as for doctors. If both guests have equal rank, list their names alphabetically.

Family, Including Children:

When inviting an entire family, you can list the family name or the parents' names alone on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, include the names of the children. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". If you want to be specific about which family members are invited, list their names separately, including titles.

Casual Weddings:

For a casual wedding, you may choose to use only first and last names without titles. However, consider using more formal wording for older or more conservative guests.

Addressing Married Couples

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation envelope, there are a few general guidelines to follow. The outer envelope should be more formal, and you can include the recipient's full name and their personal title. If the couple shares the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the person you are closest with or the name of the woman first. For instance, "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Emily Williams".

If you would like to forgo titles, you can simply list their names separately. In this case, list the person you are closest with first or go in alphabetical order. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For example, "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell".

For the inner envelope, you have the option to be more informal. You can use titles and last names or first names only. For a couple with the same last name, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle". For a couple with different last names, you can write "Mrs. Williams and Mr. Smith" or "Emily and John".

Addressing Unmarried Couples

When addressing an envelope to an unmarried couple, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind, especially if you are sending wedding invitations. Firstly, it is important to write their names independently on two lines without using the word "and" in between. For example, for a heterosexual couple, you would write:

Mr. Stanley Kim

Ms. Amanda Rhee

If the unmarried couple has the same gender, either name can go first. Alternatively, you can list the person you are closest with first or use alphabetical order. It is also acceptable to use just the first and last names without titles, especially if your wedding is informal and casual.

For the inner envelope, you can use a more informal style. You can address them as:

Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee

Or:

Stanley and Amanda

If you are sending an invitation to a couple living together as roommates and not romantically involved, they should each receive their own invitation.

Addressing Individuals

When addressing individuals on wedding invitation envelopes, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is essential to use the person's preferred title, such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", or "Mx.". If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is better to forgo the title altogether. For unmarried women over the age of 18, "Ms." is generally used, while "Miss" is used for those under 18. For single males over the age of 18, the title "Mr." is used, while no title is necessary for those under 18.

If the individual has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military personnel, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title. For example, for a doctor, you can use "Dr." or spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope. If the individual is a member of the clergy, use the term "Reverend" or "Father/Mother".

When addressing a widow, it is polite to ask if she prefers to be addressed by her married name or her husband's name. Divorced women can be addressed using "Ms." or "Mrs." with either their maiden name or married name, depending on their preference.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner" (if under 18)

Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Miss Tanner" or just their first names

For a single male:

Outer envelope: "Mr. George Costanza" (over 18) or just "George Costanza" (under 18)

Inner envelope: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"

For a widow:

Outer envelope: "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux"

Inner envelope: "Mrs. Devereaux" or "Blanche"

For a divorced woman:

Outer envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway"

Inner envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Holloway"

It is also important to consider the formality of the wedding when addressing envelopes. For a formal wedding, use full names and titles, while for a more casual wedding, you may be able to use just first names or first and last names without titles.

Frequently asked questions