Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Guests And Their Plus Ones

Wedding invitations are a crucial aspect of wedding planning, serving as the guests' first glimpse into the style and theme of the big day. While the design and wording of invitations are essential, it's also necessary to ensure that all relevant details are included. One common question that arises is whether to include and guest on wedding invitations, especially for single guests.

Including and guest on wedding invitations is generally considered acceptable, especially if you want to give single guests the option to bring a date. However, it's important to be mindful of your guest list limit and budget constraints.

Some couples choose to include an RSVP card with a line for the number of guests attending per party, leaving it up to the guest to specify if they are bringing someone. Others prefer to explicitly write and guest on the envelope to extend the invitation to a plus-one.

Ultimately, the decision to include and guest on wedding invitations depends on the couple's preferences, budget, and the dynamics of their guest list.

Inviting single guests: To include '+1' or not?

Inviting single guests: To include +1 or not?

When it comes to inviting single guests to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. While you may want to give your single friends the option to bring a date, there are budget and space constraints to think about. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you decide whether or not to include a plus-one for single guests:

• Budget and space considerations: Weddings can be expensive, and the cost per guest can add up quickly. If you have a limited budget or your venue has space restrictions, you may not be able to offer a plus-one to every single guest. In this case, it's perfectly acceptable to extend solo invitations.
• Nature of the guest list: Consider the nature of your guest list and the people you are inviting. If you have a close-knit family or friend group where everyone knows each other, single guests may not need a plus-one to feel comfortable. On the other hand, if you have outlier guests who won't know many people at the wedding, a plus-one can help them feel more included.
• Guest preferences: Think about the preferences of your single guests. Some people may prefer to attend weddings alone, while others may feel more comfortable bringing a date. If you're unsure, you can always ask them directly or include an RSVP option for a plus-one.
• Seating arrangements: When deciding whether to offer plus-ones, consider the seating arrangements for your wedding. Draft a seating plan that takes into account the number of guests and their comfort levels. Placing single guests between friendly couples can create a communal feel and help them feel more at ease.
• Clear criteria and consistency: If you decide to offer plus-ones, establish clear criteria and be consistent. For example, you may choose to only offer plus-ones to members of the wedding party or immediate family. Communicate this clearly to your guests to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.
• Invitation wording: When addressing invitations to single guests, choose between addressing it to the primary guest's name and "invited guest" or including a plus-one note inside the invitation. This will help your guests understand their options without making any assumptions.
• RSVP management: Keep track of your RSVPs and be prepared to respond to requests for plus-ones. If you are unable to accommodate a plus-one request, have a kind and firm explanation ready. You can also suggest that they reach out if their relationship status changes closer to the wedding date.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to including plus-ones for single guests. The most important thing is to be considerate of your guests' needs and preferences while also staying within your budget and space constraints. Clear communication and thoughtful planning will help ensure that everyone has a positive experience.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow.

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be addressed more informally, as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or the first names of the couple, e.g. "Thomas and Michelle".

However, many modern women may prefer to have their name included on the outer envelope, rather than being lumped in with their husband. In this case, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

If you are inviting a same-sex couple with the same last name, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mr. Thomas Warren" on the outer envelope, and "Mr. Warren and Mr. Warren" or "Thomas and James" on the inner envelope.

It is important to note that wedding invitation etiquette has evolved to become more flexible and inclusive. While the above guidelines are considered traditional, you can also choose to address your guests in a way that feels most respectful and appropriate to you and your partner.

Additionally, it is worth mentioning that the level of formality in your invitation wording should match the style of your wedding. For instance, if you are having a casual backyard barbecue, you may opt for a more relaxed tone in your invitations.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette guidelines to follow. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope should include both names on the same line, with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

If there is an inner envelope, the inner envelope can be more informal. You can address the couple using their first names or use "Ms." and "Mr." followed by their surnames. For example:

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or “Maria and David”

If you are only using one envelope, it is still proper to include both names. If one person has taken the other person's surname, you can address the invitation to reflect that. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Rivera"

If the couple has different last names, list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell"

It is also acceptable to forgo titles and list their names separately. If they have different last names, again, list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order. For example:

> Outer envelope: "Celine Elgin and Jacqueline Purcell"

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your wedding invitations to married couples with different last names are properly and respectfully addressed.

Married couples with hyphenated last names

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you get all the details just right. Here's a guide specifically for addressing married couples with hyphenated last names:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

• For a heterosexual couple where the wife has hyphenated her last name, the standard etiquette is to address the envelope as "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". The woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name.
• If the wife is particular about her hyphenated name and prefers to be addressed with her full hyphenated surname, you can write "Mr. Michael Jones and Mrs. Mary Jones-Smith".
• In the case of a same-sex married couple with one hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft".
• If you are inviting an entire family with a wife who has a hyphenated last name, you can simply write "The Martin Family" on the outer envelope.

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

• For the inner envelope, you can use a more informal style. Write the first names of the couple, with the man's name first, followed by the woman's name. For example, "Michael and Mary".
• If you want to include last names on the inner envelope, you can write "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones" or "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft".
• When inviting a family with children, you can include their names on the inner envelope. Write the parents' names first, followed by the children's names on the next line. For example, "John and Greta" on the first line, and "Billy and Jane" on the second line.
• If you are using only outer envelopes to save costs, you can write the first names of the couple followed by their last names, such as "Michael Jones and Mary Smith-Jones".
• Some women with hyphenated last names may be more flexible, so you can simply address them as "Mr. and Mrs. Martin" or use the wife's preferred name format.
• If you are unsure of the wife's preference, it is generally safe to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs." as it does not indicate marital status.
• When addressing married doctors and one has a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Doctor Matthew Smith and Doctor Angela Griggs-Smith".

Unmarried couples living at the same address

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to get every detail just right. Here are some tips for addressing invitations to unmarried couples living at the same address:

Include Both Names

When addressing an invitation to an unmarried couple living together, it is considered good etiquette to include both their names on the invitation, even if you have never met the partner of your invitee. It is worth putting in the effort to learn their name before sending out the invitation. You can do this by checking social media, asking mutual friends, or even asking your invitee directly. Both names should appear on separate lines, with no "and" in between, as this implies a marital connection. For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith, II

Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

Inner and Outer Envelopes

The traditional wedding invitation consists of an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is formal and typically includes the recipient's full name and title (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., or Mx.). The inner envelope is more informal and may include just the recipient's last name or first name. When inviting an unmarried couple living together, both names should appear on both envelopes.

When to Use "and Guest"

If, for some reason, you are unable to learn the name of your invitee's partner, it is acceptable to write "and guest" on the invitation. However, it is always preferable to include the partner's name, even if the couple were to break up before the wedding. By addressing the invitation to the partner by name, you are less likely to end up with an unvetted rebound date at your wedding.

Invitation Per Person

According to traditional etiquette, each person in a household should receive their own invitation. However, this can be costly and time-consuming, especially when inviting multiple unmarried couples. A more practical approach is to send one invitation per couple, addressed to both partners by name, as previously described.

Timing

Be sure to send your invitations out with enough time for your guests to make travel arrangements if needed. The general rule of thumb is to mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding for a non-destination wedding, and 12 weeks in advance for a destination wedding.

Frequently asked questions