Etiquette Guide: Asking For Money As A Wedding Gift

It is becoming increasingly common for couples to ask for money as a wedding gift, especially if they already live together and don't need homeware items. However, asking for money on a wedding invitation is considered poor etiquette and may offend guests. A more polite approach is to include a small section on your wedding details cards or wedding website stating your preference for monetary gifts. This can be done directly or through a poem. Another option is to ask close friends and family to spread the word or set up a gift registry for money contributions.

Poems are a cute, polite and less direct way of asking for money as a wedding gift

For Couples Who Already Live Together

"As we’ve lived together for a year or two,

We really don’t need anything new.

But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,

Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss."

"We’re tying the knot and we just can’t wait,

We knew it would happen on our very first date.

As we’ve got our home dressed up with accessories,

We don’t really think that a wedding gift list is necessary.

But if you did want to give something to help us on our way,

Some money in a card would truly make our day!"

"We haven’t included a gift list in our invite,

As we have everything — it just wasn’t right…

To ask for more things for the life we lead,

When a reliable new car is just what we need!

If you were thinking of a gift for us to start our married life,

Some money would make us a very happy [husband/wife] and wife!"

For Couples Buying a New Home

"As we’re getting married we thought it would be fun,

To move into a brand new home — we need to get it done.

As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,

Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!"

"We’ll soon be saying ‘I Do’,

And for a gift, if you haven’t got a clue,

Then we’d really love some cash,

So that for our home we can splash,

Out on a cosy new bed for two!"

For Honeymoon Contributions

"We’ve just moved home and have filled it with stuff,

From books to sofas, we’ve certainly got enough!

Instead of more wine glasses, we’d really love some cash,

So that we can book a perfect honeymoon and head off in a dash.

A romantic beach break would really do the trick,

As soon as we can afford it, we’ll be on that plane quick!"

"We can’t wait to spend our wedding day with you,

We’ve been planning hard and spending money for a good year or two.

As we’re keen to start our married life in style,

An amazing honeymoon would really make us smile.

Instead of a gift list from a high street shop,

We’d really love some money so on a beach we can flop!

Your financial donation would truly mean a lot,

So thank you for contributing to our honeymoon pot!"

Other Ideas

"We know it isn’t traditional,

It’s not the way it’s done

But instead of pots and pans

We’d like a little fun!

So if you’d like to give us a gift to celebrate,

Some help towards our honeymoon

We would really appreciate!"

"We know it’s not traditional

And it’s not the way it’s done,

But rather than a wedding list

We’d love a bit of sun.

So if you’d like to give us a gift

And send us on our way,

A donation to our honeymoon

Would really make our day."

"We haven’t got a gift list, for all of you to see,

Because as you all know we never can agree!

But if you’d like to help us, start our married life,

Cash or high street vouchers, would save a lot of strife."

"We’ve lived quite a while with all our pots and pans and as we don’t need homely gifts we’ve got another plan.

We know its not traditional but an awful lot more fun to have items on our wedding list to help us catch some sun.

So if you’d like to give a gift and send us on our way a donation to our honeymoon would really make our day!"

It is considered a faux pas to ask for money on your wedding invites

So, where should you ask for money instead of gifts? The best place is on your wedding website. This is a place where guests can find out more about your wedding day and is an ideal place to mention gifts. You can include a simple message on your website, such as "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts," followed by what you plan to spend the money on.

Another option is to use a cash or honeymoon registry website, such as Honeyfund or Zola. These websites allow guests to make financial contributions to the couple, and many guests are already familiar with gift registries. You can also set up a fund for a specific purpose, such as a honeymoon, and allow guests to contribute to different aspects of the trip.

If you don't want to use a website, you can simply tell your close friends and family members your preference for cash gifts and let word-of-mouth take care of the rest. This option gives you less control over the message, but it can be effective if you know your friends and family are good at subtly spreading the word.

When asking for money instead of gifts, it's important to be specific about how you plan to use the cash. This will make your request more personal and make your guests feel more comfortable. For example, you could say that you are saving for a honeymoon, a house deposit, or home improvements.

Overall, while it may be considered impolite to ask for money on your wedding invites, there are several other ways to politely request monetary gifts from your wedding guests.

You can ask friends and family to spread the word that you would prefer money instead of gifts

While it's not recommended to ask for money on your wedding invites, there are other ways to let your guests know that you would prefer monetary gifts. One way to do this is to ask your friends and family to spread the word. Here are some ideas on how to go about this:

Be Clear About Your Reasons

It's important to be transparent about why you're asking for money. Are you saving for a honeymoon, a house deposit, a new car, or a renovation project? Let your family and friends know your reasons so they can pass this information on to other guests. This way, guests will feel more connected to your plans and understand why you're asking for money.

Provide Context

If you're already living together with your partner, you might want to mention that you already have all the homeware and appliances you need. This will help guests understand why you're opting for monetary gifts instead of physical presents. You can also mention any specific projects or goals you're working towards, such as renovating your home or moving to a new city.

Ask Your Inner Circle to Help

Share your preference for monetary gifts with your closest friends, family members, and wedding party. They can then help spread the word and answer any questions from other guests. This way, you can focus on your wedding planning while still ensuring your wishes are communicated.

Be Gracious and Thoughtful

When asking for money as a wedding gift, it's important to be respectful and appreciative. Express your gratitude for your guests' presence and let them know that their contribution, no matter how big or small, is truly appreciated. This will help ensure that your request is well-received.

Provide Alternative Options

Even if you prefer monetary gifts, some guests may still want to give a physical present. To accommodate this, you can suggest alternatives such as gift cards or vouchers for experiences or products that you would enjoy. This way, guests who prefer giving tangible gifts can still contribute in a way that aligns with your wishes.

You can set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund with a gift registry service

There are several ways to ask for money as a wedding gift without it feeling awkward or uncomfortable. One way is to set up a honeymoon or house deposit fund with a gift registry service. Here are some reasons why this might be a good option:

It's a Clear Signal of Your Preference

Including a fund on a gift registry website is a clear signal to your guests that you would prefer a cash gift. Most wedding guests are used to seeing a gift registry, so this will feel familiar to them. It also eliminates some of the awkwardness of asking how you'd like to receive the money, as they can simply give it directly through the platform.

You Can Combine Cash and Gifts

Some couples may prefer to give you a physical gift, and that's okay! You can combine cash and gifts on your registry. This is a great option if you're nervous about asking older family members for cash only. That way, you can have the best of both worlds and your guests can choose what they're most comfortable with.

You Can Split the Money into Different Categories

With an online fund, you can split the money into different categories so that each guest can contribute to different aspects of your trip or purchase. For example, cocktails by the pool from Auntie Liz, flight upgrades from your uni mates, or a new kitchen from your parents. This makes it more personal and helps your guests feel more connected to your plans.

It's Safe and Secure

Setting up an online fund will also ensure that your gifts are safe and secure. There's no need to worry about envelopes of cash floating around and potentially going missing on the day of your wedding. Your guests can contribute directly to the fund, and you can access it easily after your wedding.

It's Easy for Your Guests

When you set up a wedding gift list or fund, most platforms will provide you with a unique link that you can share with your guests. This makes it easy for them to access your list and pledge their contributions. It's a convenient and straightforward way for everyone involved.

It is helpful to be specific about how you plan to use the cash, e.g. for your honeymoon, house deposit or home improvements

It is generally considered a faux pas to ask for money on your wedding invitations. However, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for monetary gifts instead of physical presents. There are several ways to politely ask for money as a wedding gift. One way is to be specific about how you plan to use the cash. This could be for your honeymoon, a house deposit, home improvements, or a new car. Here are some examples of wording that could be used:

"Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution toward our honeymoon."

"We're extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a house deposit fund."

"The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution toward our home improvements."

"We can't wait to celebrate our big day with you! Your presence is more than enough, but if you'd like to give a gift, we'd be overjoyed with a contribution toward our honeymoon fund."

"We are over the moon to be travelling to Hawaii for our honeymoon. If you'd like to help make the experience even more amazing, we've listed some details on our cash registry."

It is helpful to include these requests in a small section on your wedding details cards or on your wedding website. Being clear about where the money is going will make your guests feel more comfortable with these requests and more willing to make financial donations.

Frequently asked questions