Choosing A Wedding Gift: Check Amounts And Etiquette

Writing a cheque as a wedding gift can be tricky, and it's important to get it right so that the couple can easily access the funds. When addressing the cheque, it's best to use both members of the couple's pre-married names, separated by the word or. This is because, even if one or both plan to change their names after the wedding, they may want to cash the cheque before doing so, or the name-changing process might take some time. Using or instead of and also means that either person can deposit the cheque without the other needing to be present. It's also a good idea to put the cheque inside a greeting card with a personal message, rather than simply sticking it in an envelope, and to mail it to the couple to avoid it getting lost at the wedding.

Use both individuals' pre-married names

When writing a wedding gift cheque, it's important to use both individuals' pre-married names to ensure they can easily deposit the cheque. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Use both individuals' full, legal names before they were married. This is important because, even if one or both partners plan to change their names after the wedding, they may want to cash the cheque before the paperwork is finalised. Using their pre-married names ensures there are no issues with name changes at the bank.
• Separate the names with "or" instead of "and". Using "or" allows either person to deposit the cheque into their individual account without requiring multiple signatures. This is especially important if the couple does not have a joint account.
• Include both individuals' names on the cheque to avoid any potential issues. Even if you are closer to one member of the couple, writing the cheque to both ensures clarity and avoids any potential delays in cashing the gift.
• Double-check the spelling of both names. Take the time to confirm the correct spelling of the recipients' names to avoid any delays or issues when depositing the cheque.
• Include a memo. Adding a memo such as "To the newlyweds!" reinforces the idea that the gift is intended for both individuals, especially if the cheque is made out to only one person.
• Use permanent ink and follow proper cheque-writing practices. Ensure you use permanent ink and fill out all the necessary details correctly, including the date, the numeric gift amount, and your signature.
• Put the cheque in a wedding card. Including the cheque in a card is not only thoughtful but also ensures the cheque is kept in a secure place.
• Mail the cheque or bring it to the wedding. Mailing the cheque ahead of time or giving it to a close family member or the wedding planner at the event are safe ways to ensure the gift reaches the couple.
• Follow up if the cheque remains uncashed. If you haven't seen the cheque deposited after a few weeks, reach out to the couple to confirm they received it. They may be busy or on their honeymoon, but it's a good idea to check in and ensure the gift was safely received.

Use or instead of and

When writing a wedding gift cheque, it's important to use the word "or" instead of "and" between the names of the two recipients. This is because using "or" is less restrictive and allows either person to deposit the cheque into their individual account without the endorsement of the other. On the other hand, using "and" typically requires multiple signatures and for the account used to be in both their names.

• "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia"
• "Stella Whitbey or Alex Umar"
• "Jane Jones or John Smith"

Using "or" provides flexibility and convenience for the couple, especially if they don't share a joint bank account. It's also a good idea to use the couple's pre-married or maiden names on the cheque, as name changes can take time to process, and this way, either member of the couple can cash the cheque without having to wait for the legal name change to go through.

Don't make assumptions about name changes

When addressing a wedding gift check, it's important to not make assumptions about name changes. Here are some tips to ensure your gift is received and deposited without any issues:

• Avoid using "Mr. and Mrs.": Using this title on a check assumes that the couple will share a last name, which may not be the case. It also doesn't apply to same-sex marriages. Even if one partner plans to change their name, the timing of legal documents and bank account updates may not align with your gift.
• Use pre-wedding names: It's best to use the couple's pre-wedding names, as it allows either person to deposit the check without waiting for a name change or a joint account to be set up. This is especially helpful if the couple hasn't yet decided on their post-wedding name arrangement.
• Confirm name preferences: If you know the couple well, consider asking them or someone close to them about their name preferences. Etiquette dictates that you address them as they wish to be addressed.
• Be mindful of spelling and full names: Check the spelling of the names and use the first and last names you know best. Many wedding invitations and websites use first and middle names, which can be misleading if you're not familiar with both spouses.
• Avoid assumptions about name changes: Don't assume that a heterosexual couple has followed the traditional route of the bride taking the husband's last name. Also, avoid assuming that a couple with hyphenated last names has done so in alphabetical order. Always double-check the official names, especially if you know a name change has occurred.

Ensure you have the funds in your account

It is essential to ensure that you have sufficient funds in your account before writing a wedding check. This will prevent any potential embarrassment for both you and the couple if the check bounces when they attempt to deposit it. Remember that the couple may not deposit the check immediately, especially if they are on their honeymoon, so make sure your account has enough funds both before and after the wedding.

If you are using a checking account with frequent automatic money movements, such as bill payments or rent, be sure to consider these expenses when determining the amount of your gift. It may be a good idea to add some extra funds to your account to prevent any stress or potential errors.

Additionally, if you are giving a check as a gift, it is a good idea to avoid waiting too long before mailing it. Banks are only legally required to honor a check for six months after it is issued, and while some may offer flexibility, others may not. Therefore, it is best to send your wedding check gift promptly to ensure that the couple can easily deposit it.

Include a personal message

Giving a personal message with your wedding gift cheque is a great way to make your present more meaningful. It's an opportunity to share a heartfelt message with the happy couple and to explain your gift.

When including a personal message, it's a good idea to address the card to both the bride and groom. You can also add a congratulatory message and wish them a happy future together. If you are close to the couple, you might want to include a personal or shared memory in your note. You could also mention any specific purpose you have in mind for the money, such as a contribution towards a honeymoon or a new home.

If you are giving a cheque, it's a good idea to make it out to only one person, so that the couple doesn't need to wait for a joint account to be set up before depositing it. In this case, you can mention in your personal message that the gift is intended for both of them.

Frequently asked questions