Crafting A Wedding Wishing Well: Creative Ideas And Tips

Wedding wishing wells are a way for guests to contribute to a couple's future together. They are becoming an increasingly popular option for couples who want to forego the traditional gift registry and instead ask for cash or cheque donations. A wishing well can be a physical box at the reception where guests can drop off envelopes with cash gifts and greeting cards, or it can be a digital well set up on a website. Couples may opt for a wishing well because they already have everything they need for their home, they prefer experiences over items, they want to save up for a large purchase like a home, or they want to donate to a charitable cause. When setting up a wishing well, it is important to explain the concept to guests and provide a clear and nicely designed sign at the wedding venue.

Wishing well wording: how to ask for money instead of gifts

Asking for money instead of gifts at your wedding can be tricky to navigate. You don't want to offend your guests, but you also want to ensure your wishes are clear. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect message for your wedding wishing well:

Be Transparent and Honest

Explain that you already have most household items and would appreciate monetary contributions towards your future together. Be open about your plans for the money, whether it's for your honeymoon, a house deposit, or simply to cover wedding expenses. This helps guests understand your request and feel involved in your journey.

Emphasise Their Presence

Let your guests know that their presence at your wedding is the most important gift. This sets the tone and expresses your gratitude for their attendance. You can then gently follow up with details about the wishing well for those who wish to give something extra.

Provide Clear Instructions

Ensure your guests know where and how to contribute to the wishing well. You can include this information on your wedding website or as a separate note along with the invitations. Explain that they can place their monetary gifts and well wishes in envelopes provided at the reception.

Use a Light-hearted Tone

Keep the wording friendly and playful. You can use poems, rhymes, or simple phrases to make the request more approachable and less demanding. This adds a touch of charm and makes guests feel more comfortable.

Examples:

"Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you would like to contribute to our future together as a couple, a wishing well will be available at our reception."

"We are blessed to not only have each other but the guests who will make our wedding day so special. We'd rather not receive gifts, but if you'd like to contribute to our wedding and our future together, we will have a wishing well at our reception to which you can contribute."

"Your presence on our wedding day is the most special gift we could possibly ask for. However, if you do wish to bless us and contribute to our future together, we are saving for our new home. A wishing well will be present at our reception."

"We're thrilled that you're able to make it to our wedding—that's more than enough for us. However, if you would like to bring us something, spending money for our honeymoon would be most appreciated."

"Your presence at our wedding is present enough, so don't worry about gifts, we have plenty of stuff. However, if you were thinking of helping us on our way, some money towards our honeymoon would truly make our day."

"Our two families have come together as one. We really hope you can join in the fun. A wishing well we thought would be great, but only if you wish to participate. A gift of money is placed in the well, then make a special wish, but do not tell! Please do not be offended by our request, as our day is complete having you as a guest."

"We know gifts create a bit of a fuss, so rest assured your presence is your present to us. But if you simply can't resist, our wishing well should assist. Into the well goes a little cash, which we will add to our honeymoon stash."

Wishing well signage: how to make it clear for guests

Wishing well signage is an important part of your wedding wishing well. It helps guests understand where they can leave their cards and gifts. Here are some tips to make it clear for your guests:

• Allocate a space for your wishing well: Choose a designated location within your reception space for your wishing well. This could be a table, a decorative mailbox, or a large vase. Make sure it is easily accessible for your guests.
• Use clear and nicely designed signs: Your wishing well signage doesn't have to be complex, but it should be clear and easy to understand. Include a simple message such as "Wishing Well" or "Card and Gift Drop-off".
• Provide additional information: If you have included a "note on gifts" with your invitations, as recommended by Peppermint Press, your wishing well signage can be more concise. However, if you haven't provided additional information in advance, you may want to include more details on your signage. For example, you could explain that you are accepting cash donations in lieu of formal gifts, or specify what you plan to use the money for.
• Be creative: While clarity is important, you can also have fun with your wishing well signage. Consider incorporating your wedding colours or theme into the design. You could even include a playful poem to tie into your wedding wishes.
• Place the signage prominently: Ensure your wishing well signage is visible and easy to spot. Place it near the wishing well itself, or in a location where guests will easily see it upon arrival.

By following these tips, you can create effective wishing well signage that helps your guests understand your wishes and ensures their contributions are placed in the right spot.

Online vs. physical: the pros and cons of each

There are several factors to consider when deciding between an online or physical wedding wishing well. Both options have their advantages and disadvantages, and the best choice for you will depend on your specific needs and preferences. Here is a detailed breakdown of the pros and cons of each option:

Online Wedding Wishing Well:

Pros:

• Convenience and ease of use: Online wishing wells are incredibly convenient for both the couple and their guests. They can be accessed from anywhere, at any time, making it super easy for guests to contribute.
• Personalisation: Couples can personalise their online registry with images, messages, wedding details, and a custom link that can be shared on their website or invitations. This allows them to communicate their wishes effectively and add a personal touch.
• Tracking contributions: It is easier to track who gave what with an online registry, making it simpler to send personalised thank-you notes.
• Limitless options: Couples can choose from a wide range of gift options, including household items, experiences, charities, and cash funds. Many registries also offer honeymoon funds or contributions towards larger goals like a house down payment.
• Environmental impact: Digital registries reduce the amount of paper and plastic waste compared to physical wishing wells.
• Security: There is no risk of cash being stolen or misplaced as funds are directly transferred to the couple's account.
• Interactivity: The personalised elements, such as imagery and kind messages, add to the overall wedding experience and allow guests to interact with the registry.

Cons:

• Fees: Most online gift registries charge a fee, which can be an upfront payment or a small percentage commission on contributions.
• Lack of handwritten cards: Couples are less likely to receive handwritten wedding cards with an online registry. However, they can include a box at the wedding for guests who wish to bring one.

Physical Wedding Wishing Well:

Pros:

• Flexibility: Couples can allocate the money received towards whatever they need most, such as a honeymoon, home improvements, or paying off wedding expenses.
• Convenience for guests: Guests don't have to worry about shopping for specific items or guessing what the couple might want.
• No duplicate gifts: There is no risk of receiving duplicate or unwanted gifts.
• Personal touch: Guests can include heartfelt notes along with their contributions.
• Decor: Setting up a physical wishing well can be a beautiful addition to the wedding decor. It can be customised with creative decor and paired with signage to guide guests.

Cons:

• Perceived lack of personal touch: Some guests might feel that giving money is less personal than selecting a specific gift.
• Cultural appropriateness: In some cultures, giving money may not be the norm, and guests may find the concept uncomfortable or inappropriate.
• Inconvenience: Guests may find it inconvenient to have to withdraw and carry cash.
• Pressure: Some guests might feel pressured to give more than they can afford.
• Communication challenges: Clearly communicating the purpose of the wishing well without appearing to demand cash can be tricky.
• Security: There is a risk of money being stolen, and someone needs to be responsible for collecting and securing the contributions.
• Environmental impact: Physical wishing wells may not be as environmentally friendly as online registries due to the use of paper and other products.

How much to spend: a guide for wedding guests

If you're wondering how much to spend on a wedding gift, it's important to consider your budget and your relationship with the couple. Here's a guide to help you navigate this question:

• The average wedding gift amount for an individual is around $100 to $150, but this can vary depending on your closeness to the couple and whether you're attending with a plus-one.
• For coworkers, distant relatives, and general acquaintances, consider a gift between $50 and $70.
• For friends, a gift in the range of $75 to $100 is appropriate.
• If you're very close to the couple, such as close family, best friends, or a part of the wedding party, a gift between $100 and $150 or more is customary.
• If you're attending with a plus-one, it's common to double the gift amount.
• When travelling for a wedding, it's acceptable to consider your travel expenses when deciding on the gift amount.
• It's important to only spend what you can afford. You can opt for a smaller gift or purchase a few less expensive items that fit your budget.
• If you're unable to attend the wedding, it's still considerate to send a small gift or a card with a financial gift between $50 and $100.
• For destination weddings, it's not necessary to provide a standard gift, especially if you're covering your travel costs. You can adjust your gift amount based on your travel expenses.
• Remember, the couple would want you to celebrate with them, so prioritise your budget accordingly.
• If you're in the wedding party, you may have additional expenses, so it's understandable if you give a smaller gift.
• You don't need to give a gift at the engagement party, but a card is a nice gesture.
• If you've contributed significantly to the wedding, such as hosting the bridal shower, a gift is not expected.
• It's always best to give what you're comfortable with and what celebrates the couple's special day.

Etiquette: what to avoid when asking for money

Asking for money as a wedding gift has traditionally been considered poor taste, and it can be an awkward topic to navigate. However, it has become more commonplace, and many couples opt for this approach. Here are some tips on what to avoid when asking for monetary gifts:

• Avoid making it the main event: While it is perfectly acceptable to ask for money instead of physical gifts, don't let it become the central focus of your wedding. Keep it as a discreet option for your guests.
• Avoid being presumptuous: Don't assume that your guests will bring a gift or that they will participate in your wishing well. Simply make a suggestion and give them the option to contribute if they wish.
• Avoid being pushy or demanding: Respect that your guests may have different preferences or financial situations. Don't tell them what to do or how much to give. Instead, leave it open and be grateful for any amount they choose to donate.
• Avoid asking for money on your invitations: Traditional wedding etiquette discourages putting any gift information directly on your wedding invitations. This can come across as greedy, even if money is a priority for you.
• Avoid making it elaborate: A wishing well can be as simple as a small box or basket. It doesn't need to be a grand display or the centre of attention.
• Avoid hiding behind rhymes or poems: Keep your communication simple, honest, and gracious. Be direct and clear about your preferences without resorting to cheesy rhymes or poems that may confuse or alienate some guests.
• Avoid not explaining your wishes: While you don't want to be pushy, it is important to provide some explanation for your wishing well. Let your guests know that their contributions will go towards specific goals, such as a honeymoon, a new home, or charitable donations. This gives their gift more meaning and shows that you are investing in your future together.

Frequently asked questions