Etiquette Guide: Indicating 'No Children' On Wedding Invites

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list. Deciding whether or not to invite children is a tricky question, and one that requires careful consideration. While some couples opt for a child-free celebration, others may choose to include them. If you've decided on the former, it's important to communicate this clearly and respectfully to your guests. In this paragraph, we'll explore some ways to indicate that children are not invited to your wedding, ensuring your special day goes off without a hitch.

Addressing the envelope

When it comes to addressing the envelope of your wedding invitations, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind to ensure your guests understand that children are not included in the invitation. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to help you navigate this sometimes tricky aspect of wedding planning:

• Outer Envelope: When addressing the outer envelope, use formal titles and last names only. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan". This sets a formal tone and indicates that the invitation is specifically for the adults addressed.
• Inner Envelope: On the inner envelope, you can use first names and include the specific individuals invited. For instance, "Mike and Annie". This makes it clear that only the named individuals are invited and that children are not included.
• Family Invitations: If you are inviting an entire family, including children, you can address the outer envelope to "The Sullivan Family". This indicates that all members of the household are welcome.
• Children in Wedding Party: If you are inviting children who are part of the wedding party, such as flower girls or ring bearers, be sure to include their names on the inner envelope. For example, "Mike, Annie, and Sarah Sullivan".
• RSVP Cards: You can also reinforce the number of guests invited by including RSVP cards with specific numbers. For instance, "We have reserved two spots for you".

Additional Tips:

• Be Consistent: It's important to apply the "no children" rule consistently across all invitations. This avoids any confusion or hurt feelings.
• Make it Clear: Don't rely on subtle hints. Be explicit in your wording and envelope addressing to ensure your guests understand that children are not included.
• Provide Adequate Notice: Give parents enough time to make childcare arrangements by sending out invitations well in advance.
• Consider Destination Weddings: If you're having a destination wedding, you may want to reconsider a child-free policy as it may be more challenging for parents to travel without their children.
• Offer Alternatives: If you're set on a child-free wedding, consider providing alternatives such as recommending local babysitters or offering to help with babysitting arrangements.

RSVP card wording

When it comes to wording your RSVP cards to indicate that children are not invited to your wedding, there are several polite and clear ways to convey this message. Here are some suggestions for wording your RSVP card to ensure your guests understand:

"We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."

"We respectfully request no children under the age of 16/18 at the reception."

"Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."

"Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."

"We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."

"We respectfully request no children. We hope you understand and can still join us on our special day."

"We are unable to accommodate children at our wedding. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend."

"Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."

"We respectfully advise this is an adult occasion (18+), however, infants under 12 months are welcome."

"We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception."

"We can't wait to celebrate with you! Please respond by [date]. ___ adults will attend. ___ Sorry to miss it!"

"Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."

"We respectfully request no children under 18 at the reception. We hope you can still make it!"

"We respectfully request no children. We understand if this means you are unable to attend."

It is recommended to avoid printing "no children" or "adults only" directly on the invitation. Instead, focus on addressing the envelopes correctly, only listing the invited guests on the inner envelope. You can also include a line on the RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved for the invited guests.

Venue-related wording

When it comes to indicating that children are not invited to your wedding, it's important to be polite and considerate in your wording. Here are some venue-related suggestions for how to communicate this:

If your venue has age restrictions, safety concerns, or simply doesn't accommodate children, you can use this as a reason. Here are some examples:

• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
• "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
• "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
• "Due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite under-18s to our wedding."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Regrettably, our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."

You can also mention the type of venue you've chosen to subtly suggest a child-free event. For example:

• "Please join us for an intimate ceremony and cocktail reception at a luxury hotel."
• "We're hosting a cocktail reception at a downtown nightclub to celebrate."

If your venue has specific restrictions on the number of guests, you can mention this as a reason for not inviting children:

• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of immediate family to our wedding."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."
• "Due to limited venue space and our desire to ensure the comfort of all our guests, we kindly request that this be an adult-only event."

Be consistent

Being consistent with your "no children" rule will make it easier for your guests to understand and accept your decision. It's important to apply this rule to all guests, with a few exceptions that you can choose to make. For example, you may want to allow children of immediate family members, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, or flower girls. If you do make exceptions, be transparent about this with your guests to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

You can also be consistent by ensuring that your wedding stationery and envelopes are addressed only to the adults you are inviting. Avoid addressing invitations to "The [Last Name] Family" if you don't want children to be included. Instead, use the names of the specific adults you are inviting on both the inner and outer envelopes. This will help to make it clear who is and isn't invited.

Consistency can also be achieved through clear and direct communication. While it's generally advised not to explicitly state "adults only" or "no children" on the invitation, you can use subtle phrases like "intimate ceremony" or "cocktail reception" to suggest a child-free event. Be consistent in your wording across all communication channels, including RSVP cards, response cards, and your wedding website if you have one.

If you're inviting children to only certain parts of the wedding, such as the ceremony or early reception, be consistent in communicating this to all guests. You can include a note on the invitation or a separate card with details about the timing and any arrangements you've made for children's entertainment or supervision.

Remember, being consistent doesn't mean you have to be rigid. You can still be flexible and accommodating, especially in unique situations. For example, if you have guests travelling from afar or facing challenges in finding childcare, consider offering assistance with babysitting arrangements or providing a separate area for children at the reception.

Phone calls

If you want to indicate that children are not invited to your wedding over the phone, here are some ways to do so politely:

Be Direct and Clear

It is important to be clear and direct when indicating that children are not invited to your wedding. You could say something like, "We are unable to accommodate children at our wedding, and we hope that you will still be able to attend." This statement is polite and direct, and it gives your guests enough notice to make childcare arrangements.

Mention Space or Budget Constraints

If you are unable to accommodate children due to space or budget constraints, you can mention this in your phone call. For example, you could say, "Due to space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children. We hope you understand our decision and will still be able to celebrate with us." This approach shows that you have considered the situation and are making the best of your resources.

Emphasize the Adult Nature of the Event

You can also emphasize the adult nature of the event when speaking to your guests over the phone. For instance, you could say, "We are planning an adult-only reception with an open bar and loud music. For the comfort and safety of all guests, we kindly request that no children under 18 attend." This approach sets the expectation for an adult-oriented celebration while also expressing your concern for the well-being of younger guests.

Offer Alternatives or Compromises

If you are open to having children at certain parts of the wedding, you can suggest alternatives or compromises. For example, "We would be delighted to have your children join us for the ceremony and early reception. However, from [time] onwards, we are planning an adults-only reception." This approach allows your guests to still be part of the celebration while also respecting your wishes for certain portions of the event.

Be Consistent and Firm

It is important to maintain consistency when indicating that children are not invited. Make sure that all guests with children receive the same message, and be firm in your decision. You could say, "We are sorry, but we have decided to have an adults-only wedding, and we kindly request that you make other arrangements for your children during the event." This approach ensures fairness and avoids any potential confusion or hurt feelings.

Remember, it is your special day, and you are entitled to decide who you want to be in attendance. By being polite, clear, and considerate in your phone calls, you can effectively convey your wishes for a child-free wedding to your guests.

Frequently asked questions